Millions

The French have said au revoir to the franc.

The Germans have said Auf Wiedersehen

to the Deutsche Mark.

And the Portuguese have said...

whatever to their thing.

Go!

Now it's our turn to say good-bye to sterling.

This Christmas, we are going to get the euro.

Good-bye, old pounds.

Everyone says we're going to miss you.

Faster! Faster! Come on!

Faster! Go!

I can't see you!

Where are you?

I'm over here.

This is the main drag along here.

That's Portland.

Bisecting that at right angles is Lundy on that side.

On this side is Fastnet.

What's yours?

Cromarty.

Cromarty and German Bight.

Cul de sac, over there.

Keep pedaling! Come on!

Beat ya!

Upstairs!

This is my room.

And mine.

Get your own room.

Whoa.

Whoa, look at that.

Whoa.

The patron saint of house removals is Saint Anne.

Did you know that?

No, I didn't know that, no.

Yeah, she lived

in the desert, obviously,

and when she wanted to move house, angels came

picked up her house and took it to Italy.

Handy.

What about these two?

She was our Lady's mother.

What you on about, Damian?

Saint Anne-- I've got her picture.

No, I don't care. Just get in the car, will you?

We're going. Go on.

Get in the car.

Was she in it at the time?

Who?

Saint Anne, when the angels did the,

you know, the airlift.

I don't know.

Look at you.

You look like a little angel.

"Start with the money."

That's what our Anthony says.

That's what people want to know about.

Like if you're moving house,

you don't say, "We're moving house

and the new one's got a green door."

You say how much you're paying,

how much you got for the old one.

Mortgage, interest rates, stamp duty, solicitor's fees,

how much you'll get if the new one goes up in value.

That's called equity.

Personally, I think, "So what?"

Money's just a thing, and things change.

One minute, something's there and you can cuddle up to it,

the next minute it's gone, like a malteser.

That goes in the kitchen.

Is this fantastic or what?

Surprisingly spacious, with attractive views.

And anyway, in the end,

it turns out it wasn't about the money after all.

Good lad.

Watch it, lads. Up to the main bedroom.

Anyone see where the phone plugs are?

No?

Right.

This is what we're having tonight, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Before countdown, put the oven on.

After countdown, get a packet of these,

put 'em in there with some oven chips, yeah?

It's for Mum.

The time is on here, yeah?

Okay. That's how long they have to stay in.

By the time they're ready, I'll be back.

She may already have won £10,000.

He name has been entered in a draw.

All she has to do is... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Hands.

Other sides.

Let's go.

Come on.

That's you. Yeah.

That's you. Get your bags.

Yeah, and your book bag, Damian.

Keys...

I'm in the front, Damian. Why?

Oh, yeah.

'Cause I'm the eldest.

Now, remember,

it's no good being clever.

You've got to be the cleverest, yeah?

All right, see you, Dad.

Good luck, lads. See you.

Are you nervous? A bit.

So, everybody sitting up nicely? Excellent.

Now, we're talking today about people we admire.

Dominic. Roy Keane, sir. Manchester United.

Very good. Roy Keane. What about you, Barry?

Van Nistelrooy, sir. Van Nistelrooy. Right.

Anyone got any heroes who don't play for United?

Jack.

Robbie Fowler, sir. City.

All right, that's enough.

Tricia.

I don't know any footballers, sir.

It doesn't have to be a footballer.

It could be anyone.

Don't know, sir.

No? Damian.

Saint Roch, sir.

Who's he play for?

No one, sir. He's a saint.

Oh, well, that's better. Go on.

He was so worried that he might say something bad

that he said nothing at all for 20 years.

: We could do with a couple like him

in this class.

Thank you, Damian. I like a lot

of virgin martyrs, too, like Saint Agatha.

She ripped her own eyes out

so she wouldn't have to marry this man.

Ew...

Or Saint Catherine of Alexandria.

They tried to kill her

by crushing her to death on a wheel,

but she made the wheel explode,

and all the splinters killed people in the crowd.

Ew...

The patron saint of fireworks.

That's where we get the Catherine Wheel from.

I-I did say "Thank you," Damian.

Right. I brought in this picture.

This is a hero of mine.

Who knows who this is?

Nelson Mandela? Fantastic.

Nelson Mandela.

Now, who knows what Nelson Mandela did?

You should be careful what you talk about.

Try talking about football or something.

Keep off the weird stuff.

Just don't be conspicuous,

or you won't fit in.

GIRLS ( singing ): * Double, double, ice, ice, double, double, cream, cream *

* Double ice, double cream, double, double, ice cream *

* Double, double, ice, ice...

Look at that.

Aero and a Yorkie, please,

and five juicy lips.

Haven't seen you two here before.

We just moved here.

Our mum's dead.

Yeah, well, go on. You're all right.

Thanks. God bless. Who's next?

Works every time.

Tell 'em your mum's dead,

and they give you stuff every time.

I'm your community policeman.

Obviously, there is no community here as yet--

not to speak of, but, uh, you know...

Anyway, the first thing to say

is these new houses and Christmas coming up...

statistically, you're going to get burgled.

Now, not all of you, but some of you... soon.

Probably this week,

next.

When you are...

call me.

I'll give you a crime number,

and then... you can make a claim

on your insurance.

Building maintenance.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Uh, I'm usually right.

It's a-a knack.

Do you mind me asking... is the kettle actually on?

Um... Oh, sorry.

Yes. Isn't the problem here

that our houses are built on sand?

Sand? No.

They're not, are they?

If you store up your treasure on Earth,

it will be stolen... but if you give it away,

then it can't be stolen.

Mormons.