Galavant

Man: THERE HE IS!

GALAVANT, HELP!

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT... MY PRINCESS?

YES, MY KING.

I SHOULD THINK SO.

IN A FEW MOMENTS, WE SHALL MARRY,

AND YOU WILL INSTANTLY BECOME THE RICHEST,

MOST POWERFUL WOMAN IN THE LAND.

YES, MY KING. VERY EXCITING.

AND THEN...TONIGHT...

YOU WILL JOIN ME IN MY BED.

YES, MY KING.

WE'RE GOING TO DO IT!

YES.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO JUST SIT IN BED AND OPEN GIFTS

AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN THE WEDDING WAS, OKAY?

WE'RE...DOING...IT.

YEP.

MY LADY.

I MEAN, OF COURSE, WE'RE GOING TO OPEN SOME PRESENTS,

BUT THEN WE'RE GOING TO DO IT. GOT IT.

OHH!

UGH!

OHH! AAH!

AAH!

HEY, LOOK! OH, WOW! IT'S HIM!

I SUGGEST YOU FALL.

THANKS!

AND SO, ON THIS GLORIOUS DAY,

WE CELEBRATE THE UNION OF OUR GREATEST KING!

Galavant: SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

MY LADY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON.

NOW, GARETH AND I COULD SURELY FIGHT ALL NIGHT TO AN EVEN DRAW,

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

HELL, YOU CAN EVEN SEND ALL YOUR MEN TO HELP HIM,

IF YOU SO DESIRE.

BUT I'LL FEND THEM ALL OFF.

'CAUSE HERE'S THE THING.

I LOVE HER, RICHARD.

SHE'S THE FIRST THING I THINK OF IN THE MORNING

AND THE LAST THING I THINK OF IN THE EVE.

AND YOU CAN OFFER HER GREAT FAME,

AND YOU CAN OFFER HER GREAT FORTUNE,

BUT...

ONLY I CAN OFFER HER

GREAT LOVE.

AND THAT IS WHAT SHE CHOOSES.

ACTUALLY...

HMM?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT EVER SINCE HE KIDNAPPED ME,

AND...

I'M GONNA GO WITH THE FAME AND FORTUNE.

YES! SEEMS LIKE AN EASIER LIFE, YOU KNOW?

OH, I'M REALLY SORRY, GAL. I HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS.

MM.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT, DARLING. MM.

GOOD NIGHT, SWEET PRINCE.

OH.

DAMN IT, GARETH.

WOULD YOU JUST DO THAT FOR ME, PLEASE?

NIGHT-NIGHT.

GOOD MORNING...SIR.

I SEE WE'RE GETTING AN EARLY START THIS MORNING.

OH, WHAT DO YOU WANT, SID?

SIR...WHEN YOU HIRED ME TO BE YOUR SQUIRE,

IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME.

MM. BEST SQUIRESHIP IN THE LAND.

MY PARENTS COMPLETELY PLOTZED.

BUT EVER SINCE MADALENA --

DON'T SAY HER NAME. RIGHT.

THERE'S SOMEONE HERE TO SEE YOU.

SHE BRINGS WITH HER AN OPPORTUNITY.

I WOULD BEG YOU TO MEET WITH HER.

SID, I'M NOT SEEING ANYONE.

AND HERE SHE IS -- MAY I PRESENT

THE PRINCESS ISABELLA MARIA LUCIA "ELISABEETA" --

"BETTA." ...BETTA OF VALENCIA.

WELL, THAT'S A MOUTHFUL.

UH-HUH.

SIR GALAVANT,

I HAVE TRAVELED LONG AND FAR TO SEEK YOUR FAVOR.

FOUR MONTHS AGO, MY PEACEFUL KINGDOM OF VALENCIA --

I'M SORRY. WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

THAT WOULD BE ME.

FOUR MONTHS AGO,

MY PEACEFUL KINGDOM OF VALENCIA

FELL UNDER ATTACK FROM A RIVAL LAND.

MY PEOPLE WERE TAKEN CAPTIVE.

MY ENTIRE FAMILY EITHER KILLED OR IMPRISONED.

OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE. THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE.

STILL, YOU'VE GOT A NICE WAY ABOUT YOU.

I'M SURE YOU'LL LAND ON YOUR FEET.

NICE MEETING YOU. DOOR'S ON THE WALL.

BEFORE BEING CAPTURED, MY FATHER HID ME IN THE CELLAR

AND HANDED ME THE PRICELESS JEWEL OF VALENCIA.

I HID IN THAT CELLAR FOR MONTHS

AS MY FAMILY WAS SLAUGHTERED ABOVE ME.

I NOW OFFER YOU THIS PRICELESS JEWEL,

ALL THAT MY COUNTRY HAS LEFT TO OFFER.

I THROW MYSELF AT YOUR MERCY, SIR GALAVANT!

PLEASE...

SAVE MY PEOPLE.

SORRY. I GOT DISTRACTED.

WHAT DID YOU SAY AFTER I SAID, "NICE MEETING YOU.

DOOR'S ON THE WALL"?

YOU'RE NO HERO. WHO ARE YOU?

OH, I'M NOBODY, PRINCESS.

YEP. BUT YOU'RE --

NO, I DON'T. BUT --

SEE YA! WAIT!

PLEASE! NO.

THAT MAN IS AN ANIMAL!

W-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

PRINCESS ISABELLA MARIA LUCIA "ELISABEET--" BET--

PRINCESS?

Jester: BANANA.

BANANA WHO?

BANANA.

BANANA WHO?

ORANGE.

ORANGE WHO?

"ORANGE" YOU GLAD I DIDN'T SAY "BANANA" AGAIN?

WHOA!

ANOTHER WONDERFUL ROUTINE, JESTER.

I'M NOT SEEING IT, BABY.

PERHAPS HIS HUMOR FLIES OVER YOUR HEAD, THEN.

HONESTLY, GARETH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE SEES IN HIM.

NO IDEA, MY KING.

WELL, I WILL GO AND COMPLIMENT THE JESTER.

AND WHILE I DO, HUSBAND,

PERHAPS YOU CAN MAKE SOME PROGRESS

CONVINCING THE KING AND QUEEN OF VALENCIA

TO TELL YOU WHERE THEIR JEWEL IS HIDDEN.

I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

MM-HMM.

GALAVANT WOULD NOT STAND FOR THIS.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? I SAID,