Human Zoo

Marcus Wright, Marcus Wright, you're next.

- Marcus Wright. - Marcus, okay,

right over here.

Please be ready when we call you.

We're moving very, very fast,

and we do not have time to wait for you.

Trust me, Lars von Trier wouldn't put up with this shit.

Come on, really, did she just

- talk to me like that? - Bitch.

Okay, why do you think you should be cast

as Solitary Confinement?

Is it bad to say that I could really use the money?

The other game shows, you know,

they ask you a lot of questions.

I was never really any good at that.

What does the idea of solitary confinement mean to you?

Total lack of control over your surroundings,

and dictating what you do and how you do it,

giving that control over to someone else.

It means to strip away all illusions

and to be alone and, therefore, to face yourself.

Why will an audience want to watch you on this show?

Look at me.

I will charm them with my wit, my intelligence,

my incredible ability to sing.

I think I'll be able to maintain my composure the best,

probably be a relief.

I mean look at me.

I like me.

You like me too.

You ain't gonna tell me you like me, but you like me.

I will try to make fun jokes and puns,

keep things light

and be a shining example of overcoming obstacles.

I will try.

Uh, what is the most interesting thing about you?

Give a fuck about anything, I don't care.

Is that I am a single mother to two young cats

and one old one.

My ability to focus, you know, like really zone in.

I'm a female helicopter pilot,

and a badass pilot at that.

My cock.

Is that, does that offend you?

Well it should.

This is reality and that's what you want.

So my answer is my cock.

What is your strategy for winning the show?

Take care of myself, imagine stuff.

I'm gonna take a systematic approach

with a test that tests my vision, my sight, all my senses.

Focus, you know, Shiva would go out into the forest

in Samadhi for like weeks at a time.

That's gonna be my strategy.

I don't think I really need a strategy.

Do the things that I normally do,

um, but without any communication.

I will win the show by just talking, talking, talking.

What are you most afraid of?

Probably being alone, but if there's an audience,

are you really alone?

Of something happening to my cat David.

He's my special boy, and also of dying alone.

Losin'.

I'm not afraid of anything.

I work in reality TV.

I'm not afraid of nothin'.

Try me.

Stillness and quiet, so that's gonna be interesting.

Drowning.

And what would you do with the million dollar prize

if you win?

Well, I would buy more snow globes.

I would, um, get my cats a better flea medicine

and more furniture.

For starters, I know that the, um, one million

is probably more than those things.

First of all, I'm gonna tell everyone I told you so.

Then I'm gonna get a sports car.

I'm gonna move to Miami.

Then I'm gonna tell everyone to eat a dick.

My wife, uh, she needs two operations,

therapy and medication, and business has been slow, so

the money hasn't been there

to keep up with the health insurance.

I would do the smart thing

and I would put a down payment on a house and invest it.

I know that might not be as interesting as like

buying a pink corvette or something,

but I'm also not an idiot.

Can you do me a favor

and quit reading from your script?

Just answer the damn question.

You know what?

I come in here and I've been disrespected the whole time.

You sit behind your little prefabricated table,

livin' your prefabricated lives,

sayin' someone else's lines.

You're a fucking cunt.

But all the while,

you sit there danglin' your carrot.

Jump, rabbit, jump.

I'm not your rabbit.

I'm sorry.

This isn't at all what I thought it was.

I'll see myself out.

- My God. - Wow.

If I call your name, please exit this door

into the casting room.

If I do not call your name,

please stay here and do not leave.

We have Marcus Wright.

- I mean, - Fuck.

They're gonna come back for us,

- obviously. - They better.

We're like the best thing

- to happen. - I'm thirsty, hungry,

and I have to pee.

I've been here fore like five hours.

I wonder if like they'll give us

- a massage when we go back. - Fire my chump agent.

You think?

Excuse me.

Geez, whoa.

Congratulations to you all,

you've made it to the final round.

The producer's assistant will be in momentarily

to explain the next step in the process.

Until then we do understand that you're very excited,

please do not share this information

with anyone at this time.

Thank you.

Gosh, what an attitude.

We're gonna win a million fucking dollars!

Aren't you excited?

I'm fucking excited!

Man!

- Oh my God. - Oh!

- My God. - College debt go away.

All right.

Hey everyone.

Oh, hey.

Let's start with a round of applause for all of you.

You've earned a spot in the first ever 24 hour

live feed reality web series

with a grand prize of $1 million.

That means one of you in this room

is going to be a millionaire.

That's awesome.

Yay.

Now, I have to go over a few details,

and then I have some extra special news to share with you.

But first your schedule.

You're gonna have a medical exam,

just to make sure you're all physically fit

to enter the competition.

Then we'll have interviews.

This will be a chance for you to show the audience

how you really feel.

This is your 15 minutes of fame.

Afterwards, we're going to have a brief meeting

with a producer of the show.

You're not going to see the solitary confinement area

before you enter it for the competition,

but the producer will tell you a little bit about it.

Then you'll go to a green room

and wait until you're notified

that it's time to enter solitary confinement.

Yes!

I don't know if I should be happy or scared.

Now for that extra special news.

The show has just been picked up for a second season.

- What? - Oh my, wow.

We haven't even announced the cast,

and we already know we're a hit.

So as a reward to you,

the winner will now receive $2 million.

Yes, yes, oh my God.

Congratulations and welcome again to solitary confinement.

Contestant: All right,

yeah!

Enjoy your stay.

Right back at ya.

- She's so hospitable. - What,

- what? - Wait, we're not going home?

- That shit's tonight. - Oh.

- That shit's tonight. - Oh my goodness.

- Wow. - Okay.

- Tonight? - Excuse me,

- did you talk to my agent? - I got this.

Tonight, I gotta put my dog out.

- Okay. - My God,

- what am I gonna do? - You mean, we're really not

- going home? - We didn't sign anymore

- paperwork. - Okay.

- Maybe that's the next step. - I still got this.

- I still got this. - Yeah, maybe,

- hopefully. - Yeah, but, hey, at least

- it's two million now, right? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I mean, that's true. - Double the money.