The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

Let me see your fit.

Whoa! Well, I'm dizzy now.

Let's change. I'm tired.

- -I'm ready!

I feel like I look like a--

I should be doing dishes,

-like a house... maid in this outfit. - Oh, my God.

A little milkmaid, like a housewife,

-a trad wife. -Ew!

And my husband just makes the money...

-All the money. -...and I just cook and I clean.

-And milk the cows. -Milk the cows.

And spread my legs.

-Whoa. -I'm kidding!

-Is it down all the way? -I don't know.

-Oh. Ooh! -Woo!

Hide that from the camera!

Blur that out.

Today, Jessi, Mayci, and I are going shopping for my 25th birthday party.

It's gonna be an elevated St. Patrick's Day birthday party,

since my birthday is on St. Patrick's Day.

I'm praying that it's way less dramatic than Layla's birthday party.

When we were uncomfortable around a man that has harassed us online for years...

And you guys have every right to leave right now.

I... I can't. I'm sorry.

- -What the hell is going on?

-Meanwhile, we gotta look for green. -I know.

By the way, are you gonna respond to Layla's text that she sent?

Not the one that she sent after the party.

But she did text me today, saying, "Happy Birthday."

And I did respond to it and say thank you.

I was like, "I just don't wanna respond to your other one right now

and, like, address the Chase stuff."

'Cause I'm still really annoyed about that.

Um... can I say neither?

I'm about 89% sure that Whitney's not coming this time

and crashing my party.

Whitney? Who's Whitney?

Oh, God.

What in the literal fuck?

It's weird enough that her and Demi are making videos together.

-What? -Please stop, I can't! Oh, my God!

Watching their TikToks,

I just pray that kind of friendship never finds me in this lifetime.

I wanna look at these dresses, by the way.

- -Also, where's Jessi?

-Dude, I don't even know. -By the way?

-I'm gonna call her. - Yeah, make sure she's--

-"Are you alive?" -I'm like--

Like, where are you?

Your call has been forwarded to--

-Why did that scare me? - Is her phone off?

Jessi was supposed to be here and she's not.

And so, I feel like me and Mikayla are starting to get concerned,

because Jessi's someone who usually always shows up, never says no,

and now she's just not around.

MomTok is currently at its lowest point right now.

So, me and Mikayla hope that Jessi knows that she can lean on us

and that we are here for her.

-When is her phone ever off? -That's what I'm saying.

-I don't think I've ever called her and... -With her business too,

I'm like, her phone is never off.

-And it's always charged. - Always.

- Like, that's just who she is. -It's always charged and it's never off.

-That's sketch, dude. -

That gives me like a eerie feeling.

Shh.

I've been trying to be respectful towards you

even at times when you might not deserve it.

I've taken six months of my life going through hell and back--

- Yeah, and treating me like shit-- - And treating you like shit.

And guess what? You wanna know why? Because you're numb.

And I don't feel like you're-- you feel bad for what you did.

I do feel bad and I've taken accountability.

-I was a cheater. I did do it. - Yeah, you did do it.

I'm sorry, but it's not okay.

You are pushing me away

-by doing this, you realize? Like-- - Good. Good.

And guess what? It's all justified.

I think I'm done having this conversation now.

Jordan left Layla's birthday party early

and he ended up spending the night at Dakota's house.

And we... got in a really big fight.

And I get it. I did cheat on Jordan.

Marciano and I did kiss. We had an emotional affair.

But I also hope that I can find a way to show that we didn't sleep together

and prove it once and for all.

I called my mom and sisters and had them come over.

I need space to have a clear head

and process all of this drama without him in my ear.

I am so mad at Jessi.

The fact that this is now coming out

and I'm having to face my family and explain to them

that my wife is-- had an affair...

is hell.

This has made me question whether or not more has happened.

What's the plan?

Um, I think that Jordan's gonna stay at his parents' house tonight,

so I just need to get the kids and then go home.

In that argument, Jordan ended up saying

that he didn't think this was gonna work out.

It ultimately led to us deciding to separate.

-You're doing the right thing. - Yeah, I know.

And that's the hard part, is, like, it hurts

and I know he's hurting, and I feel so bad.

Our relationship was just getting to a point where it wasn't working

even before what I did

and... I did what I did

and instead I-- I should've done this six months ago,

-and I wish I would've. - Yeah.

I mean, you should've done it a few years ago.

- Yeah, it's true. I should've. -I mean, let's be honest.

My mom was definitely surprised about the affair,

but I think she, also, just as a mom, had intuition that things weren't right.

So when she found out,

I don't think she was as shocked as I thought she would be.

She knew our relationship wasn't great.

We haven't seen the Jessi that we love in so long.

It's funny 'cause I feel like, for the longest time, I've had, like,

-a really hard time crying. - Mm-hmm.

I've been like a zombie for, like, three years.

And I feel like it's because I would just go home

and have this, like, really tumultuous situation

and then I would have to fake it

'cause I'm so busy for, like, classes and work and everything.

- Yeah. -And so, now I'm like,

I just need to, like... release,

and I need to give in to the emotion, and I need to just, like, feel it,

you know, and not, like, shove it down

'cause we were just shoving it under a rug when we would fight,

but then we would just pretend everything was fine.

Yeah, I... It's hard because, like, we do have kids,

so I don't wanna share anything

that would ever put them in, like, a weird situation.

But I feel like it got to the point

where it could be considered emotional abuse,

name-calling, talking down to each other, threats,

like, things that just aren't okay in a marriage or a relationship.

And it was every day.

There wasn't a single day we weren't fighting.

I just didn't think this would be me. This is Taylor's role.

Oh, stop!

- -No.

There is a part of me that wants to look like I have it all together,

I'm the business owner,

I have a perfect relationship, and kids,

and, like, I'm just trying to, you know, live my life in that way.

And it's embarrassing to open up about something like this.

I just can't believe it's happening. It just doesn't feel real.

But now that everything's out there, and all my shit's out on the table,

I can't hide this anymore.

- -

You see Daddy? Hmm?

- Hi! -Hi, hello!

-How are you? -Good. How are you?

-Good. Oh, my goodness! -

I am now home from my therapy retreat

and it was intense.

It was very emotionally draining.

When you're trying to heal trauma, it is very ugly before it gets pretty.

We did months of work compacted into two weeks,

so it was... difficult.

-How are you? -Good. How are you?

-I'm a little out of it, but that's okay. -Yeah.

Dakota did come to the retreat for a day

to have a couple's therapy session with the psych therapist.

The goal is to have healthy co-parenting

and to focus on our healing individually, set boundaries,

and just so we don't go back to our old cycles.

Yeah. And that-- And that's what-- all I wanted from this

is just to kind of get a wake-up call.

I am not going to be in a relationship until I'm in a healthier spot.

-How are you? How are things? -Good.

You had him, like, for 11 days.

Yeah, I did.

-How was that? -It was, uh, it was good.

We had a lot of fun. I felt like we, uh, it was, like, good bonding for us.

-Really? Well, I'm sure-- -Yeah.

Well, yeah, I feel so close to him now.

Having Ever while Taylor was away at the retreat

was the best thing in the world.

I just had so much one-on-one time with him, which I loved that.