DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO (イジらないで、長瀞さん)

- Hey, check it out. Cool, right?

Huh?

- Hey, are you free later? - Uh, yeah.

- Okay, how's this for an idea? - Sure?

- Let's go to karaoke. - Sounds like a lot of fun.

What makes you think that?

I assumed she was flirting with me.

[all laughing and speaking at once]

[all laughing and speaking at once]

Ah, you're full of it.

There's no way!

- I felt so guilty! -

- Anyway, after that,

he had the nerve to message me later

like nothing had happened.

- For real? - Oh, that's just sad.

I know, right?

I wish he'd just take the hint and give up.

Well, so much for my favorite

quiet after school study spot.

I can't stand girls who behave like that.

They're like a different species.

One that I'll never understand or relate to.

I'll try to get my homework done quick

and get out of here.

[distant baseball bat hitting baseball]

Man, come on.

This is taking forever.

- Where the hell is Yukko, anyway?

Girl hasn't been answering any of my texts.

Oh, eww.

That guy just messaged me again.

Oh, no!

- Hey, you got any pictures of this creeper?

- - I think so.

Let me see if I kept it.

This boy is so persistent.

- - Oh, here.

He's weird, right?

- He is! Get it away!

You know what, though?

Here. Check that out.

- Oh, yeah. - Right?

- Oh, 100%. -

- Don't let them get to you! Just stay calm.

Just stay calm!

- Oh, by the way, Hayase, while we're here,

what was that book you were talking about?

Was that from this place?

- Yeah, on the shelves in the back.

Hmm.

I'm staying calm! I'm staying calm!

Oh, man.

Where's my--

Hmm?

Uh

Oh, I--sorry.

- Oh, my gosh. Hey, come look at this.

- Hmm? - What is it?

- What's up, Sakura? -

- Here, look at these. - both: Hmm?

- -

"Fear not. I shall protect you?"

- "Oh, my hero!" - Just relax.

This is fine. This is fine!

Man, this is so sketch.

Real talk, though,

this might be better than "Two Piece."

- Screw that.

Don't you dare diss "Two Piece."

This crap doesn't come anywhere close

to that masterpiece.

No?

- No way in hell you'd catch me watching trash like this!

- Oh, but he's probably super proud of it.

Poor guy.

Oh.

Yukko says she's at her family's restaurant.

Cool, let's swing by.

- Yo, Hayase, you comin' with?

Hmm, I'll catch up with you.

- Seriously? So, this is your type?

- Ooh, I wonder if her boyfriend will be there.

I heard he's cute.

Eh, I'll be the judge of that,

thank you very much.

I wanna see him.

Mm?

- I'm a first year and you're a second, correct?

Um, yeah.

Nice.

That makes you my senpai.

- "A peerless swordsman lacking in any social skills!

The valiant Siegfried!" -

- "He fights alongside Lady Elizabeth,

"a beautiful knight from an enemy nation

"as they undertake a perilous mission:

to vanquish the dreaded Demon Lord!"

"But lo, they're set upon by soldiers from the kingdom

"who were lying in wait to ambush them

as they journey home!"

"Siegfried and Elizabeth barely escape

"by the skin of their teeth.

"He knows deep down that he can never be

"the kind of man she needs

"and his love for her will never be requited,

"and yet still he protects her with his life,

vowing to honor the oath he made on that fateful day."

Just stay calm!

So what I'm picking up is

This Siegfried guy is basically your self insert,

right? - Um, not necessarily.

- You projected yourself onto this unfortunate swordsman

who slowly grows closer to this beautiful knight

but can never manage to seal the deal.

- But it's not-- - Uh, I don't mean to laugh.

I swear, senpai,

I'm not trying to make fun

of your creativity or anything. -

- See, it's like this. -

- I just feel sorry for both you and Siegfried.

You're both a little pathetic, you know?

Uh, you feel sorry?

- Let's see. How to explain it?

This is actually a perfect example

of what I'm talking about.

"I walk the path of the blade

"and only live for combat!

My womanhood I leave behind!"

"Preposterous, for you are beautiful."

I'm sorry.

I'm seriously not laughing.

I would never make fun of your boy.

I know he's supposed to be your alter ego.

Just to clarify,

what about this is pathetic?

- You really don't see it, do you?

Okay!

I think a demonstration is in order!

Huh?

Also, I've never swung a sword or anything,

so I'll use these instead.

Wait, what?

Hah!

- I walk the path of the blade and only live for combat!

My womanhood I leave behind!

Hmm?

She expects me to do that?

I'm sorry. Is there a problem?

What happened to all that gallantry?

Do you get it yet?

Look at how you react in real life!

- In what world do you think you're enough

of a badass to pull off something

as ballsy as this without getting yourself arrested?

You, Mr. Definitely A Virgin?

What a joke!

Read my lips. You are nothing like that!