Love by the 10th Date

'I don't even know why you make me work with this stuff anyway.'

'What do you mean?' 'Because it's horse hair.'

'It's good stuff.' 'No.'

There's some little Indian girl walking around India

lookin' for her hair.

Mm-mm. She my friend.

And what you really need to learn to do

is to get back to your roots.

Go natural. I am natural.

Except for, I have other natural hair.

No, you bought this. I know.

And it was on a hanger when you bought it.

But it lived once. It didn't live on your...

And if it, if it lived, it's real.

Alright, I'mma give this now. Okay.

Make sure you get it right on the part.

I will. No.

Because if you get it on the hair

then it's gonna be hard to take out.

And then I have to cut my real hair.

It is not like I haven't done this before.

You haven't.

But it's not like I can't figure out how it's done.

Tonight's really important. I know, I know.

Because you have a date. Yeah.

You finally gonna get some, you know.

You haven't had sex since you were little, so...

And it's Saturday night, and I always gotta spend

my Saturday nights with you.

Well, maybe I'll kill myself after I leave

and that'll be my exciting change of pace.

Let's see what my mom's talking about.

'You know, my friends ask me, "Why can't Gabby keep a man?"'

'And then I say, "Well, she just hasn't found the right one."'

'On the back of my mind, I know'

'it's that curse.'

Okay, alright, I can finish it.

Yeah? Yeah.

Thank you for doing the back. You're welcome.

Oh, my gosh, you have fun, okay?

Thank you. Have fun, and get some.

Yes. Have fun and get some. Have fun and get some.

I think there's something on fire out here.

'Thank you, girl.'

Oh, my God!

Hello? 'Hey, you.'

Hey, handsome. Are you ready for tonight?

'Not quite.' Ha ha. I know that's right.

'Cause you ain't ready for this, if you know what I mean.

'I can't make it.'

What? You do know what I mean, right?

Whoa!

'My girlfriend's sick. We got back to... '

Wait, wait. Girlfriend?

'We got back together a few days ago.'

'And since you and I only went out on a couple of dates'

'I figured, you know, maybe we could still... '

Unh-unh. Don't say it. Don't say you just wanna be friends.

'Cause I hate friends.

'Thanks for letting me off the hook.'

No, you're not off the hook. It's Saturday night.

You're not off the hook. Listen, okay.

This is what we're gonna do. You'll just quit her.

And I can pretend like this conversation never happened.

We'll survive this. 'Um..'

You're on the hook!

'It's the curse.'

We asked 100 single women, "After how many dates

do you start to wear sweats?"

You said... four.

'Survey said..'

Well, how many? 'Ten dates.'

'Ten dates was the number one answer. Mm-hmm.'

It's 8:45, and already 76 degrees here in Los Angeles.

'It's shaping up to be a real scorcher today.'

'So make sure to get in that car, keep your A/C on.'

Hmm? 'And keep chill during..'

Oh, my God!

'Wait!'

Excuse me, excuse me. Sorry.

Sorry.

Oh!

Oh!

Hey, Gab, hold the door.

I'm sorry 'bout that.

Phew! Appreciate that.

I like what you do with your hair.

Looks nice.

You, you got a little piece hangin'

little, um, if you don't mind.

'Push it right there..' What are you..

Oh, damn! Damn!

Damn, I swear to God, I didn't mean to do that.

That was not... Not the.. You know what?

That's, uh, it's fine.

'Cause you wouldn't understand.

I'm doing my hair at home from now on

because it's too expensive going to the salon

and human hair alone costs a lot of money.

It's like a carno. That is not human hair.

At all, and I do understand.

Come on, you've got a self-conscious belief

that the right guy may never show up.

So, why waste your money on a salon, right?

Soon the same theory gonna apply to your monthly wax.

And you're not wearing matching underwear. Damn that.

A man innately able to sense when a woman is hiding a bear

in her non-matching underwear.

He stops checking for your self-conscious belief

becomes a self-filling prophecy.

And just so you know, I do wear matching underwear.

Look, I'm not judging you. Hey! Hey!

Thank you.

Mm.

Thanks for bringing this.

Any chance to see my beautiful wife.

You hanging out with your friend later?

Yeah.

'Still wanna hit the strip club after?'

Definitely. Alright, madam beauty editor.

You get back to work. Okay.

Alright, I'mma get outta here. I'll see you later.

Okay. Love you.

Ten shades that say

down for whatever.

'So, some of your biggest hits, uh, "Fat Punami"'

"Number One Poom-Poom Killer"

and "Me Love The Strippers"

all refer to women as just some of their parts.

Now, in a pantheon of words

one could string together to create such a lyric.

Why not use something a little less degrading to women?

Whoa.

Well, you know

I believe women should be empowered to do

what they want to with their bodies.

But how embarrassing it must be for you

that I am the feminist here.

I sense this underlying condescension in your tone.

Which tells me that this is a story that you were assigned.

Not one that you chose.

You see, if you listen to my music

you'll see that it's so important to me

to put some joy in a folk's Friday night.

And for the police to stop using black people

for target practice.

But since some lyrics, they captivated you

you must be some Freudian draw.

No ring on that finger.

So you're definitely not married.

Girl, you haven't even cracked a smile since I sat down.

So the joy of sex is completely missing from your life, huh?

How long it been now? About a year?

Ten months since the last time you made love to somebody?

Let's round it up, and call it two years.

I can't do this. Women.

Yes, I'm right, ain't I, darling?

I can't do it! Yeah, vamanos.

Someone else can do this interview.

Change that font back to standard.

Oh, I was, I was trying something different.

I actually created this.

Mm, we pay you to make things fit on a page.

Not create the Mona Lisa.

Is that the royal "We?"

Excuse me? No, it was, it was a joke.

Because, you said "We" like you were

one of the owners of the magazine.

So I was like.. Yeah!

You're about to find out about the royal unemployment line.

Keep telling those corny ass jokes..

Did you read Maureen's column this morning?

Don't you have a job to do, as well?

Not until Maureen get's here.

And then to do my job well for the editor-in-chief

I need to be in a good mood

or else blame someone for why I messed up.

And you know how much Maureen loves mistakes.

Moated.

So, Maureen's column.. Mm-hmm.

Killed me. Mm?

Like I am dead. I need life support, oxygen..

Shh..

So, what happened with Big Stunna?

He was asking questions that were very personal.

He wanted to know the last time you got laid.

Yes.

'So, when was the last time you got laid?'

It's personal.

Uff. That long.

These are not questions you should ask in a workplace.

Well, they were asked in this workplace

this morning by our featured artist.

And since you didn't answer, he's gone.

'Find a way to make him sit down with you'

'and complete the interview.'

Or you're fired.

My personal life is... None of my business.

No, I know. Either you want to keep your job..

I just bought a house. Or not.