The Big Bang Theory

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

We conclusively proved super-asymmetry,

and yet somehow we-we still feel like imposters.

Yeah, there should be a term for that.

Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that!

It's called "imposter syndrome,"

and you don't have it, because you can't have it

if you are imposters, and you are !

We're the ones who discovered super-asymmetry,

so if anyone's gonna feel like they have imposter syndrome,

it's us because we're not imposters, they are !

You're imposters and you're frauds!

I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that

this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy.

I-I'm sorry. I-I just... I-I snapped.

Oh, you're sorry. It's all better, then.

Listen up, you have shot to win a Nobel Prize,

and you're blowing it.

I think what President Siebert is trying to say

is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize,

and you're blowing it.

Uh, that's exactly what he said.

Yes, but I said it in my calming HR voice.

So, obviously,

I'm really sorry about my outburst.

Calling you frauds was unacceptable.

I feel terrible about it.

It has caused her a lot of stress.

She chewed through her night guard

like it was a piece of jerky.

What you said was really hurtful,

especially because I thought we were friends.

Why would you think that?

Ouch.

Ignore them; they're just mean people.

Uh, not mean, just sorry.

Seem mean, are sorry. Happens all the time.

It's okay. I talked to my therapist,

and she made me realize that what you said

was... really more about your own insecurities.

I'm sorry, what?

There you go, she's sorry. We all heard it. Moving on.

Yes, obviously,

you're angry at all the attention we're getting

for our discovery and you're lashing out.

Well, uh, technically, she lashed out.

I contained myself, which I don't think

I'm getting enough credit for.

The point is we should take it as a compliment

that even you guys think we will win the Nobel Prize.

Uh, no, we-we certainly do not think that.

The Nobel Committee will realize

that we came up with this theory.

But we proved it.

By accident.

All breakthroughs happen by accident.

No, they don't!

Look, the Nobel Committee doesn't like infighting,

so if the four of you don't stop sniping at each other,

the award's gonna go to someone else entirely.

He's right.

You know, like it or not, we can't avoid each other.

Let's at least try to be civil.

Agreed.

You know, when you think about it,

we're linked together the same way that super-asymmetry

links together every atom in the universe. Hmm.

That's not what it does at all!

Well, that's the great thing about science.

We all get to have our own opinions.

I'm still not talking. That's impressive, right?

Season 12 Episode 21 Title: "The Plagiarism Schism"

You... No, no, no, no. Your money's no good here.

Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out,

and moving forward, may the best team win.

I couldn't agree more.

We're the best team.

Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so.

Very good to see you.

Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell.

Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together.

Great to meet you. Well, you have my number.

We should hit up the buffet at the strip club

while you're in town.

Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh?

You can come, too.

That's a hard pass.

I'll walk you out.

Good to see you, Barry.

You're the best!

O- o-oh...

God, I hate that guy.

That's strange; you seem quite fond of him.

I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel.

How do I know you're not just being polite

when you say it's nice to see me?

I have literally never said that to you.

Why do you say he's a weasel?

Pemberton's whole M.O.

was to take other people's ideas and turn them in as his own.

That's exactly what he's doing to us.

I'm not surprised. I heard the only work he did on his thesis

was googling, "Where can I buy a thesis?"

Well, plagiarism is a pretty serious charge. Are you sure?

You want proof? I can make some calls.

You'd do that for us?

I really don't want to see that guy win a Nobel.

I also don't want to see you win a Nobel.

Ooh, this is tricky.

I don't know, Barry. It sounds a little sleazy.

Well, let me know if you change your mind.

Sleazy is where I thrive.

So I was talking to my mom

about our Pemberton and Campbell situation.

Really? What'd she say?

Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath

on them for being deceitful,

but New Testament God would forgive them.

So couldn't we just bring down our wrath

and ask the New Testament God to forgive us?

You know, I asked her

- that very question. - And?

She said I was full of California sass.

Oh, good, you're all here. Uh, we're wrestling

with an ethical question, and perhaps you could help.

- Sure, what's up? - Yeah. - Fire away.

If we have damaging and embarrassing information

about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them?

Quick question: Does it happen to do with online tastes

that might or might not reflect their real-life tastes?

I know all about your tall girl website.

It goes on our credit card.

It's Dr. Pemberton.

Kripke says he plagiarized his thesis,

and that he can prove it.

Wow. Well, that's not gonna sit well with the Nobel Committee.

Hang on. I don't think it's fair to use something

someone did in school against them.

Relax, he said it's not you.

I don't know. If someone's a cheater,

they should be held accountable no matter how long

- ago it was. - Okay, now

you just sound crazy.

So you really think they should do this?

It wouldn't just knock Pemberton

out of Nobel contention, it would blow up his whole career.

To that, I say kaboom!

No, I meant it's a bad thing.

No, no, I agree with Bernadette.

If Pemberton cheated,

maybe he shouldn't have a career in the first place.

There's plenty of people that didn't plagiarize.

And a few of us who did, but it's only 'cause.

The Scarlet Letter was so boring.

Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter.

Th-That's where I got my taste for bad girls.

Ugh, why is this decision so hard?

Maybe because you want to win,

but deep down you know it's not the honorable way to do it.

Otherwise, you would've done it already.

That's really wise.

Yes, but it may just be the Indian accent.

Do you think by not exposing Pemberton

we're doing the right thing?

Of course.

Unless you think we're not doing the right thing.

Why would you think that I don't think

we're doing the right thing?

You might think that if good people hold themselves

to unrealistically high ethical standards,

then they might lose out to their unscrupulous competitors.

Is that what you think?

No.

No, I just thought if you thought we weren't

doing the right thing, that's why you might think that.

Well, if I did think that,

you might point out that people who claim

it's okay to do bad things to win

are bad people no matter what they tell themselves.

And I'd be right

to point that out.

Because you're a good person.

I love talking to you.

It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice.

I'm just saying, Sheldon and Amy deserve to win,

and sometimes that means doing what you got to do.

Don't you think it's better to take the high road?

Yeah, and instead of guns,

armies should carry candy canes that shoot wishes.

So what's the worst thing you've ever done

to get something you wanted?

I'm not gonna tell you that.

Oh, come on. I'll tell you mine.

Right, 'cause yours is gonna be

as bad as mine. Okay.

Come on, just tell me.

Okay, fine.

When we first met, there was another waitress

at The Cheesecake Factory who thought you were cute,

so I told her you had all the hepatitises, A through Z.