Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

(male vocalists continue singing in German language)

(male vocalists continue singing in German language)

Oh.

Oh, this is wunderbar.

Fraulein Roop, if you would be so kind?

Oh!

- Beware, this record is the property of Radio Rio Dio,

100,000 watts of faith-healing power,

and its unauthorized use

may be punished by fine and incarceration. Amen.

? Gimme that old time religion ?

? It's good enough for me ?

Small Town, USA.

Average people, ordinary people,

the folks next door.

Walk down any street, knock on any door,

and who will ya meet?

Your neighbors.

That's what it's all about,

friendly people getting to know one another,

pulling together for the mutual good,

at work and at play,

giving new meanings to the word "democracy."

People like Mr. Peterbuilt,

a man to the name born.

His obsession, garbage;

His profession, sanitary engineer;

His avocation, fucking.

Lola Langusta, practitioner of the black sock.

Oh, yeah.

Fount of drug-induced fantasies.

Lola Langusta, hotter than a Mexican's lunch.

Semper Fidelis, the door-to-door salesman,

out there on a shoe shine and a customer.

Bon vivant, raconteur,

connoisseur of baubles, bangles, and beads.

Lingerie is his game, plundering's his name;

A boudoir bandit,

raiding the coffers of the absent husband

as he draws a veil of gossamer

over the eyes of the bedazzled housewife.

Culture in Small Town

is represented by the tempestuous Teuton,

Martin Bormann, equally at home with the grand

and the grave.

Both grungy laborers,

Beau Badger on the left, Tyrone on the thigh,

clambering over the Grand Tetons

and the Qattara Depression that is Junk Yard Sal,

slaving and slathering together for the common good,

their employer and liege,

an Amazon sucking dry the marrow of the laboring class.

Lamar Shedd, true to his name,

hoisting high his petard,

always breaking rank to fight another day.

And people like Flovilla Thatch,

dental assistant,

sexual surrogate, double-gated paramedian;

- Mm-hmm. - Indispensable

to the populace of Small Town.

The scat man, Zebulon;

Affable, well-meaning, man's best friend,

seldom ever an Uncle Tom.

Lavonia, never a headache,

ever girding her loins for low body blows,

pubic-to-pubic,

wallowing in the empty saddles of Small Town.

Both dentist and marriage counselor,

Dr. Asa Lavender, DDS,

fighting tartar, soothing flaming roots,

cleaving together a house divided.

The callow youth, Rhett,

bumptious teenager, potential decathlon champion,

qualifying in nine events but lacking in one.

Small Town is like your town and my town,

where Main Street still works.

If you're still searching for the American dream,

then search no longer.

It's right here in Small Town, USA.

Behind every door, a story;

behind every story, a good woman.

Like the buxotic Eufaula Roop.

Yet that's another tale.

But not every story is so simple.

Yes, believe it or not, even in Small Town, USA,

there are still people who are unfulfilled and unrelieved

in the midst of plenty.