The Goode Family

So, Ubuntu,

how's your project going to save the planet?

I made an earth friendly windmill generator.

Nice try, Ubuntu,

but the ice caps are melting, sea levels are rising,

and yet, we still have no water to drink.

The fact is, it's all too little, too late.

But wind is sustainable.

Mm, maybe if we're lucky, it will be a windy apocalypse.

So it sounds like there's no reason to take notes.

I know we shouldn't feed Che from the table,

but when it's vegan stew, I just can't help myself.

Is this that compost stuff you're always talking about?

Are you feeling okay, Ubuntu?

Do you need another herbal enema? Gerald?

My colon's not the problem. The world is the problem.

Planet doomed. Tipping point. Game over. Ubuntu's just upset

because we've thrown the world so out of whack

there is no hope of saving it.

Don't listen to all that scaremongering.

I remember when we were all supposed to die in an ice age.

Then we were supposed to starve to death from overpopulation.

Kids, the simple fact is we're gonna be taken out

by a super antibiotic-resistant flu bug.

What's gotten into you two?

Reality.

Now hold on.

Have you guys learned nothing from the jar?

Just by recycling for the past seven years,

we almost have enough for our eco-cruise.

Six days and five nights of being on the open seas,

harassing fishing boats.

What's the point? Might as well eat meat and flush toilet.

Honey, don't do yoga now.

You know your skills go right out the window

whenever you're upset.

I know.

I'm just so worried about the kids.

I don't want Ubuntu to become jaded and cynical,

and Bliss to become... More jaded and cynical.

Maybe there's a downside

to the constant drumbeat of apocalyptic defeatism.

Maybe.

Out of the way, jackass!

"Make a difference."

Move the bike, lance!

A thous--

Uh, it costs a thousand dollars to adopt a highway?!

It's a way of weeding out the riffraff.

We can't have every tom, dick and harry

picking up trash on our highway.

Why?

Do you want the highway or not?

Hmm... That's a lot of money.

But I guess it's worth it

to keep Bliss and Ubuntu from becoming cynical.

You must really love your cats.

Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.

The Goode family

There she is--

Route 9.

So we're adopting a highway instead of going on a vacation?

Yes, this will show you

that we can make a concrete difference in the world.

Right, Helen? Oh, so now you're asking for my opinion?

Honey,

I hated acting without the counsel of my life partner,

but the situation called for action.

So wait... You paid them

so we can pick up garbage on a public highway?

I saw a wino puking in an alley.

Pay me a hundred bucks, and I'll tell you where.

This is going to be great. I can just picture it now...

- All right. - Okay.

Ugh.

Congratulations. Your highway.

Well, it didn't look anything like this in the photo.

There was grass.

Yeah, we find that if people know how bad the problem is,

they become cynical and just give up.

So we doored a photos.

What do you think, Ubuntu?

Should we give up now or in five minutes?

Maybe we should just post an "adopt a dump" sign

and be done with it. - Now I know this looks bad,

but what better to show that we can make a difference

than to turn this eyesore into a place of beauty?

But there are so many condom wrappers.

Yeah, but we'll start a groundswell.

We'll get the whole community involved.

There are so many causes to compete with.

We should have a needier font.

Ah, I don't think so.

Penny, I know it's last minute,

but are you available to pick up garbage this afternoon?

I think you know the answer to that.

Nah-unh. Oh!

If I could just get our message up there on the big board.

How do you do that?

Nobody knows.

Margo!

Busy!

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

I know that nobody cares more about our environment

than you do. It's just one afternoon.

Today? Oh, too bad.

I'll be tied up

with the one earth eco event of the week...

Picking up trash. Huh?!

Wow. I'd like to do it.

Me, too! It's on the big board. Count me in!

Let me help! You can count on me!

Me, too! It'll be so fun!

Come on, everybody. Follow me.

Hey, look. Your dad's here.

And there's Ray's truck and ki's minivan.

They probably could've carpooled,

but this is still great.

I underestimated how bored and lonely everyone is.

Maybe this will work.

Oh, god! Newswatch 15 is here!

And Benny Begosian, the average guy!

And Margo looks miserable!

Hello. Welcome, everybody,

because everyone here is welcome.

Ah, look. More volunteers who share our common vision.

Welcome!

All right, move it. Step it down.

- What?! - Come on, move it now.

Nazis?

Everyone who loves to hate,

say cheese!

I'm really for, like, the environment and stuff,

but really against racist hate groups.

This one's tough.

Come on, fat-tastic.

He-- he's not one of them.

Well, he sure looks like one of them.

Oh, my biological parents were racist afrikaner criminals,

but then they adopted me,

so it's all been squared away.

Why don't you take a walk?

Helen, I know i'm "mr. Live and let live"...

But these guys?

Whoo!

I don't know,

maybe we should've gotten you that black barbie.

Helen... Thank you!

Wait, everybody!

Please don't go!

Sir, could you please tell me,

what these gentlemen are doing here? These prisoners clean this highway

as part of their punishment. Oh, first of all, uh...

Their work is a bit shoddy.

And, uh, second of all,

I paid almost a thousand dollars to the transportation department

to adopt it and clean it.

Whoo! That's a big chunk of capital

to throw into maintenance. I can respect that.

See, I'm a businessman myself. Dean stancill.

Hey, I know you're a prisoner! Get out of there!

Businessman? Ar-aren't you a criminal?

There's no need to toss epithets about.

These are all fine lines, gray areas.

Didn't you see "Wall Street"?

"The Godfather"?

I heard something bad happened to a horse.

Regardless.

"Irregardless" is not a word. I'm not sure if you knew that.

This job is important to us.

It gets us out of our cells and builds our self-esteem.

It's part of our rehabilitation.

Rehabilitation.

Now... What can I offer you just to leave this highway to us...

Other than your life?

Ha! Gotcha!

I wouldn't hurt you or your family!

Oh! Oh, my.

Well, I-i'm sorry. I didn't get the joke at first.

But my wife and I are using this highway to show our kids

that people can make a real difference in the world.

So I'm afraid we can't leave.

Look here, son. That ain't gonna work.

Okay, we gotta head back.

There was a big fight, and we're in lockdown.

You know how it goes. But we ain't cleaned!

We need to pick up the trash! The bottles!

Come on, get in there! aah!

You wanna keep cleaning the highway with them?

Gerald, they are nazis.

Helen, you say that about everyone. But these are the real ones!

Let's just cut our losses and spend the day at the lake.

There'll be garbage there.

Yeah, dad, I think aryan skinheads on your highway

are a pretty good sign it's time to throw in the towel.

No, we can't give up. We're making a difference.

Did you see how upset those guys were

that they didn't get to pick up those bottles?

There's hope for them,

and if we can change them, we can change the world.