Prevenge

- Hi, Mr... - Zabek.

- Zabek. - Yeah, yeah.

- Find it all right? - Yes, I'm so sorry. I was...

No, don't worry. Traffic's murder around here.

- Find somewhere to park? - Yes, I did.

Well, take a look around.

- Yeah, it's erm... - It's quite a place, innit?

- Look at these two, eh? - Yes.

Oh, my... Are they real?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll say, yeah.

They're Indonesian.

Oh!

- Oh! - See, they're a couple.

They're a pair.

- Oh, yes. - Oh, yeah.

They come together.

If you know what I mean.

Yes.

The big ones have been known to eat sheep.

And they have eaten...

kids.

How do they get them in their mouths?

Well, you know, they just open their mouth and...

Ugh!

Like lightning.

I just erm...

I have to admit, I'm really nervous.

Why are you doing it, then?

Oh, it's not for me. It's for my kid.

Oh... OK.

Obsessed, is he?

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. They're like that, aren't they, the little boys?

They get obsessed with things.

They're obsessed with spiders and then lizards...

- Guns. - Guns, yeah. All that.

Here, look at this. What can you see in there?

That... is my big fat snake.

Oh, yes.

Looks quite slimy, doesn't it?

But it's not.

It's very smooth.

Do you want to touch it?

No.

OK.

Right.

Say hello...

...to my little, fat, furry friend, Penelope.

Well, you see, my son's eight.

And... I think, really, he'd like something very special.

Mm.

Well, I could show you my private collection.

If you like.

- Yes? - Yes, please.

Yes?

OK.

Come on.

Oop.

Ha-ha! Watch the maggots.

Eurgh. Horrible. Horrible little things.

Hm?

What do you think?

I... I don't know what I'm looking for.

She's pregnant.

- Just like me. - Like you.

Beautiful. Eh?

Now, I can't let you hold her, but...

...there's one down here...

which you will be holding.

Where are you, you little bitch?

Come here.

Come and say hello.

- Come on. - Is she dangerous?

Yes.

Come on.

Where are you?

Come back over here.

Get on with it.

Listen, Mummy.

That's how I was made.

You can forget about that ever happening again.

Selfish bastards.

No consideration.

We may as well not exist.

But shh. It's OK. I'm here.

I have mascara days like that.

Very smudged.

This is not gonna hurt one little bit.

- They said that last time. - Did they?

It did hurt and I had a massive bruise.

It was, like, here to about there.

- Oh, poor you. - Mm.

That's not very good, is it?

Probably not in control of their apparatus

like nurse Jennifer.

Lovely.

So, I managed to track down your records.

You're not very easy to track down.

I felt a little bit like Sherlock,

with you as like the disappearing woman.

Lady Lucan, I think we'll call you from now on.

Yeah, can you just call me Ruth?

Yes, of course.

Ruth. So...

Did you know that if you hear a really high-pitched sound

later on in pregnancy,

you can just start spurting milk from your boobs?

Like two rockets. It's like boom, boom, pow!

It's quite magical.

Why are you telling me that?

Just so that you know you have absolutely no control

over your mind or your body any more.

This one does.

She's got all the control now.

She'll be coming.

OK, so I didn't have much time with the notes.

Phyllis gave them to me this morning.

What does your partner do, Ruth?

Oh.

Oh.

I'm very sorry.

I didn't know. I wasn't aware.

Well, how would you know

cos you don't actually know me, do you?

No.

It's very important to let the past stay in the past.

It's just nature's way.

I think nature's a bit of a cunt, though, don't you?

Negativity's not good for the baby's spirit, really.

- Do you think? - Yes.

I think it's good to try to stay positive.

And at the end of the day,

you've got this force of nature now inside you.

Baby knows what to do.

Baby will tell you what to do.

I think she already does.

Erm, it's just here.

Vehicle

Scream if you want to go faster.

It's DJ o'clock.

Empty.

Dead. Like a graveyard.

The atmosphere in here tonight is electric!

Can I get a big "Oi! Oi!"?

Guys, tickets are available for Halloween.

Raise your hand if you want one.

They're available at the bar.

Any requests, come up to the booth.

I've got nearly every song.

All right?

All right?

Do you want a drink?

- Eh? - Do you want a drink?

No, I'm all right. I don't drink on Tuesdays.

You don't drink on a Tuesday?

- No. - Why?

I have a code. And I don't drink when I'm up there.

- You know? - Are you a pussy?

- What? - Are you a pussy?

Oh, Jesus Christ, if it will shut you up.

- YOLO. - What?

- YOLO. - What's that mean?

You only live once.

That's actually something I always say to people.

- Really? - Yeah. It's a motto of mine.

- So I'll drink to that. - YOLO.

Actually tasted like water.

Do you want another one?

- You trying to get me drunk? - Yeah.

You're a bit forward, ain't you?

Some might say.

All right, I'm gonna just lay my cards on the table here

cos I don't want to lead you up the garden path.

But... I'm not after a relationship.

I'm not after any sort of girlfriend.

I don't want any baggage to carry round with me.

I'm sort of a bit too young for all that sort of stuff.

You know? I'm still playing the game.

I'm still, you know, a weekend warrior.

If you're after something more serious

because your body clock's clicking on,

then it ain't me, I don't want any part of that.

- You couldn't be more wrong. - Really?

We're the same.

You don't know anything about me.

I know enough. I've been watching you.

- Oh, have you? - Yeah.

- What do you see? - I like what I see.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

John, can I get another? Tell you what, let's get four.

Couple of shots there, girls?

I want to get them girls a drink as well, you know.

Just sort of...

Just so I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket.

Girls, come on.

That's it. Lovely. Look at that.

One, two, three, here we go...

That was nice, wasn't it?

Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.

Fucking hell.