Trailer Park Boys: Don't Legalize It

You okay man?

- Mr. Green! - Hey, what's up? What's up?

Good to see you, candy man. What's up, Hydro?

It's been a minute, dawg. What's up with y'all?

Sorry about the circumstances and all that, right? Sayin'.

Yo, what's up with T man?

Man, T at a halfway house, y'all. But he gonna be here.

What the fuck are you doing here?

- I invited myself. - Yeah? Well, fucking get him out of here.

You couldn't wear a fucking shirt to a funeral, Randy?

I got the keys. Just take it easy,

- the transmission's slipping. - Okay.

I'll pick it up after work.

- Do you mind putting some gas in it? - Sure.

How's the mall, George?

- Good. - I got some good dope for you,

- I'll bring it by after work. - Thanks, Ricky.

Good to see you, Julian.

We're not friends, we're business partners. Don't forget it.

Okay, tough guy.

We've got the buyers in Montreal, everything's set, bring all you can bring.

Alright, cool.

Did you hear that?

The cops threw the old man out of the dump,

so he moved to the goddamn parking lot of the old Zellers downtown.

He was selling hotdogs and drinking. He was there almost a year.

He wouldn't listen to anybody.

I fucking warned him about the propane.

Last Monday at 4 a.m., there was a great big explosion.

Some bums witnessed it, said Ray was down there.

Fucking drunk, smoking cigarettes.

Trying to steal propane for his grill and that was it, fucking ka-blamo.

Motherfucker, he blew himself up.

Sayin'?

Sad like a motherfucker too, ain't it?

I was down with Ray, dawg.

I loved that old white boy.

Over this way, please. Everybody gather around over here.

Get the fuck out of the way.

Thanks for coming today, everyone.

We're gathered here today at Ray's sanctuary.

This is a place that most of us would... rightly call the dump.

But not Ray.

For Ray, this was like his personal paradise.

He...

Sorry.

We're here today to remember Ray, and all of the things that he taught us.

To celebrate what a wonderful man he was.

He wasn't wonderful, he was shitty.

Maybe the shittiest man there ever was, ever will be.

You better shut your fucking mouth right now.

Goddamn right, you bald-headed, bespectacled bitch!

It's a funeral, motherfucker!

I'm gonna slap the white boy out your mouths!

You don't disrespect a motherfucker like that at his own funeral!

Jamie... - What the fuck's wrong with you, bitch?

You too Randy, get the fuck back, fucking Simon Cowell with titties!

You're out of fucking line right now.

Sorry, Julian.

My apologies, everyone.

Continue.

Can you please just fucking leave?

- How could you say that? - Randy, Ray isn't dead.

Piss still flows in the jug, bud.

Come on, Randy.

- How could you say that? - Rand...

Instant karla, fucky!

Fuck!

Jesus Christ, Ricky! - Fucking asshole.

Ricky get up. Ricky...

Fucking drunk, Bubbs.

My dad was the...

It's okay, Ricky.

Bubbs, can you fucking read this for me?

Yeah, Ricky. It's okay.

Ricky's a little too upset.

- Understandably, so... Tyrone!

I'm going to read the words that he prepared.

My dad wasn't always right, but he acted like he was.

And that was the most important thing to be thunk of.

My dad was awesome.

And if you don't like him...

you can fuck off.

That's it. Thank you.

Here's to fucking Ray.

Fucking way she goes.

Fucking way she goes.

Fucking way she goes.

Present arms!

Fuck...

- Jesus Christ, Jacob. - What the fuck was that?

Weak!

Sorry, Julian.

- Oh my fuck, Tyrone! - What is he doing?

He's breaking the fuck north, dawg. He hates that halfway house.

He knows if he gets out of the province they can't fuck with him.

Oh man, that's a dumb move. He's gonna end up back in jail.

Like you know a lot about staying out of jail.

How's it going?

Jesus Christ!

Fucking flyers.

My dad said the biggest mistakes of my life was giving up on growing dope.

Well that, and working for Julian.

And for a while, I did give up on dope.

Everybody said I was done.

Cops, judges, Lahey... They all said, and I kofe,

"I'd never, ever grow dope again."

Does this look like I'd never, ever grow dope again?

Fuck those guys. Dope's a part of me, and I can't change that.

Dope's a part of everybody. I don't know if you know this,

but people have these naturally occurring cannabinoid sectors in their brain.

What the fuck do you think we have those there for?

It's for dope to get us high, that's what.

The biggest question I had to figure out last time I went to jail was:

how in the fuck can I keep doing this and not get caught?

But, I also had to figure out where in the fuck to grow the dope.

Should I grow it in the trailer park? Lahey's gonna be fucking with me,

I'll have cops all over my ass. It just doesn't fucking work.

Cops aren't going to fuck with me in the sub-division.

Lahey is definitely not going to fuck with me in the sub-division.

This is all mine now. I have all of this,

because my dad said, "Don't fucking work with Julian."

Thanks for the fucking advice, Dad. Wish you were here, bud.

Ricky did this. He caused my stroke.

Happened the day he got out of jail, when he shit himself back into this park.

Now I'm a prisoner, and he's free to go wherever he wants, whenever he wants.

Fortunately he's growing his dope somewhere else.

But when he shits, he still shits in the park.

- (BICYCLE BELL RINGING) - It is dirty fucking tough.

I mean, I can't get a real job. Can't get any job.

Employers see how many times I've been to jail,

and they think it's a mistake on the goddamn paperwork.

Then I have to say, "No, no that's accurate,

I've been in there that many times."

Here's your chicken and liquor. It's $65, plus $10 for delivery.

You know, so now I've just been slinging

chicken, and beer, and cigarettes and liquor to people

for a $10 fee just to get by.

Oh Jesus, I almost forgot your cigarettes.

Corey Hart! Ha! Ha!

It wasn't fucking easy.

I got out of jail and I was just as broke and fucked up as everyone else.

So... I fell back on bouncing at the Red Knight.

This skinny little prick was fucking around, got up on the bar, started dancing.

He was wasted, I was wasted.

I grabbed a hold of him, threw him down, put him in a hold.

And I don't know what happened, the guy fucking sucker-punched me.

Knocked me out in front of everybody.

I mean, even my doorman saw it.

That forced me to step back and say to myself,

"Julian, are you a fucking bouncer, or are you a businessman?"

My business has been up and running for two months now.

- Private. - Good evening, Sergeant.

Go for it.

Shhh.

Come on, go, go, go.

- Nice job, buddy. - Thanks, Julian.

Oh! Jesus Christ, Jacob! Jacob, turn the piss off!

- Fuck! - I'm really sorry, Jules.

Man, you're here almost every day, someone's going to notice something.

This stuff is liquid fucking gold, okay?

These guys in Montreal want the whole fucking thing.

It's going to make you and I a lot of money.

Julian's got the Lincoln!

- Hey, man. - Drink?

Yeah, sure.

I got a little present for you too, man, from the harvest.

- Here you go, bud. - Right on. Thanks, buddy.

Fucking best I've ever grown.

- Looks good, man. - Smooth as fuck.

What the fuck's wrong with you?

Oh, look at Mr. Fancy.

In a move that has raised eyebrows for some and hopes for others,

Canada's Justice Minister today issued an invitation to marijuana activists

to speak at a hearing in Ottawa on a conspicuous date, April 20.

That puts the hearing on the same date that thousands of pot activists will gather

for their annual 4/20 smoke-in on Parliament Hill.

People are lining up in Ottawa for a chance to have their voices heard.

Meanwhile, others are confidently predicting full legalization within a matter of months,

effectively creating Canada's marijuana industry.

What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck are they saying?

They want to legalize it. It's going to happen.

They can't legalize dope now. I mean, look what I've got going on here.

This took me everything I had to get this going.

I just can't fucking believe this is happening right now.

Listen, man, this is what we gotta do.