Glee

Here's what you missed.

Rachel choked at her NYADA audition,

- which means she blew the biggest audition of her life... - Oh, God.

Which, as far as she's concerned, is now pretty much over.

I had my chance, and I choked.

Quinn's in a wheelchair, but her rehab's going well...

partly because Joe's been going with her.

Brittany probably forgot she was elected senior class president.

And Puck failed his big geography exam about Iberian precipitation,

which means he's not gonna graduate.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

Everything dies.

Maybe the saddest death of all is the death of a dream.

For 18 years, I've had one dream... Broadway, stardom.

It was like the wings that kept me hovering above the fray.

But I flew too close to the sun, and now they're gone.

And I'm just Rachel Barbra Berry of Lima, Ohio...

A flightless bird, a penguin.

Do I look different?

I feel different.

In some ways, it's a relief... To be part of the crowd.

My dreams are smaller now, maybe even more real...

The wedding, winning nationals.

But first, prom.

I'll never walk the red carpet as a Tony or Golden Globe nominee.

That's what you get for having no backup plan.

Prom is my night to trip the light fantastic.

Next to my wedding, my prom dress...

will be the most important gown I ever wear.

I'm surprisingly okay with it all.

That dream was just a favorite old sweater that I kept around...

even though it didn't fit anymore.

I can grieve it and move on.

I may have lost NYADA, but I still have Finn.

So I'm not going to get everything I thought I ever wanted.

Doesn't make me a loser.

What are you doing?

I am practicing my prom queen victory wave.

I'm going to win.

You know that there's a lot of stiff competition this year, Becky.

I wouldn't want you to be disappointed.

Would you mind taking your loser talk somewhere else?

I don't want to catch your failure.

Sexy teen trollop, many months ago,

to much fanfare, you were elected senior class president.

Oh, yeah.

Since that day, you have accomplished nothing...

except one memorandum, written in crayon,

saying "Drill, baby, drill."

I no longer believe we should be drilling for babies.

Your do-nothing presidency...

has me seriously considering abolishing the post altogether.

And as you are flunking each of your classes,

you need "class president" on your transcript...

if you hope to gain admittance into college.

No, I don't. I've already been accepted at Perdue.

The university?

No, the chicken factory.

Miss Pierce, you are making a mockery...

of this student government.

And if you don't make an impact with the rest of your term,

your presidency will be this school's last!

I now realize I wasted an entire year...

belaboring the nuances of my fluid teen sexuality...

and getting caught up in Lord Tubbington's Ponzi schemes.

Then for a while, I stopped talking.

But I don't want my presidency to be the last one at McKinley.

I don't want that to be my legacy.

Well, Madam President, prom is coming up.

And if you want to rehabilitate your image,

perhaps that's where you should start.

Okay.

I don't know who any of you guys are.

Oh, we're the prom committee.

We've been meeting since September.

We've sent you 14 memos.

Did you get my memo about drilling for babies?

- No. - Good.

'Cause that's not the solution to soaring gas prices.

We're a little behind schedule,

- but we think we have a great theme for this year's prom. - - Cool.

This year's prom theme is...

Castles in the Clouds.

Nice.

I like your unicorns. Those are great.

But I'm gonna have to say never,

'cause there's no way I'm ever gonna let that happen.

Castles are very heavy, so putting them on clouds would be extremely dangerous.

I seriously think the three of you should be put in jail.

Okay. Um, what about...

Stairway to Heaven?

Not unless we also build escalators to heaven...

for the disabled students.

Plus I'm not really sure if they're even allowed into heaven.

It's clear that the three of you are incompetent fools,

possibly some sort of terrorist cell.

So, as president, I'm gonna decide...

what the prom theme is gonna be this year.

And I think that it should be...

Dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs? Yeah.

The Bible told me that dinosaurs and cavemen lived side by side...

for millions of years in peace.

I think that's something we should totally celebrate.

No, you can't be serious.

That's the worst prom theme ever.

When you insult my Dinosaur prom theme, that's bullying,

and I will not accept it.

By the power vested in me as president, you are all fired.

Sorry, Rachel, that includes you.

But I guess I'll see you in Glee Club, so...

Good meeting, guys.

Good morning, McKinley High!

First of all, to those of you thoughtful enough...

to leave maternity gifts outside my office,

both I and my unborn child thank you...

for the lackluster Cracker Barrel meat-and-cheese medleys,

and I'm sure that my trash can will find them delicious.

Now it's time to announce this year's senior prom court nominees.

Your choices for prom king are...

Rick "The Stick" Nelson.

Yeah!

You know it!

President Brittany S. Pierce.

That's weird.

And also Finn Hudson.

And now on to the category we all really care about... prom queen.

Becky for prom queen 2012!

Missy Gunderson.

Santana Lopez.

And Quinn Fabray.

Congratulations to all our nominees.

I was robbed, Coach!

Are you bummed you didn't get nominated for prom queen?

In what world would I ever be nominated for prom queen?

Well, I voted for you.

And I got that crossed-eyed dude in my study hall to vote for you too.

That's very sweet of you, but I'm not upset at all actually,

because I am gonna be spending my entire prom night...

dancing with my devastatingly handsome future husband-to-be.

We'll make your posters later, okay?

Okay! A big congrats to all our prom nominees!

But, hey, listen up.

We are all winners,

because Principal Figgins...

asked New Directions to sing again this year!

Come on!

Fantastic.

All right.

Brittany has an announcement.

Hello, my fellow Americans.

The theme for this year's prom will be...

Dinosaurs.

- Sheer genius. - Thanks.

I was inspired by the new girl, Joe, who reminds me of a cave woman.

The refreshments will be berries, meat and rainwater.

As you are no doubt aware, the U.S. elections are riddled with corruption.

Therefore, to keep the prom elections completely aboveboard,

I have appointed Santana and Quinn to count the ballots.

- What? That makes no sense. - Shut it, Richard Simmons.

Yes, Quinn's my home girl, but I don't trust her.

And you know she doesn't trust me.

We'll keep each other honest.

You know, it's actually not a bad idea.

And last but not least, all hair gel has been banned from the prom.

Right.

I'm actually not joking. Hair gel was not invented until almost...

30 million years after the Upper Paleolithic Stone Age.

And frankly, I don't like the way you look.

Therefore, anyone who shows up to prom wearing hair gel...

will be turned away at the door.

I hereby decree this to be the best prom ever.

Okay.

Let's start thinking of... dinosaur songs.

Hey, did you know about this?

I know you knew about this 'cause it was hung at eye level,

and I know Quinn couldn't have reached up that high to put it there.

Remember when I told you that if you come at me with the crazy right off the bat,

that my head goes all empty and I can't really have a productive conversation?

This isn't crazy. This is mad. This is hurt.

This isn't a big deal. Not a big deal?

I'm gonna have to watch my fiancé dance in front of the entire school...

with his ex-girlfriend at my senior prom.

If you haven't noticed, Quinn can't dance.

She just about died coming to our wedding.

She asked me if I would campaign with her,

and I figured it was the least I could do for our friend.

I can't believe how selfish you're being.

I can't believe you haven't noticed I'm kind of having a bad week myself.

I can't believe that my entire high school career...

is gonna end the exact same way it started...

Just some sad little Jewish girl watching you get all the attention...

with the pretty blonde cheerleader.

Come on.

Good, good, good. Come on.

All right, now let go of your hands.

You got this. Just... Just let go.

I promise you'll be okay. Okay?

You got it.

Good. Come on.