Angie Tribeca

It's too hot! I can't!

I'll just take the blast.

Okay, I got a Dora the Explorer backpack.

No, strike that.

The eyes are too small, and the haircut's wrong.

Laura the Adventurer.

It's a knock-off!

I got movement!

Freeze. Put your hands on your head.

Oh, right.

Guys, do you mind?

Okay, go ahead.

You're shining that right in my eye.

How is she doing?

Post-traumatic stress, hypothermia,

possible case of the Mondays.

I'm just glad I had extra workout clothes in my locker.

Ma'am, what's your name?

I don't remember.

Do you have any idea who could have put you in that backpack?

No.

Name all three Bee Gees.

Barry, Robin, and...

and...

It's like her mind's been erased.

This is a textbook case of amnesia.

You can see here on the back of her head

where someone hit her with a textbook.

Ma'am, I'm gonna say some key words

to try and jog your memory.

Let me know if anything sounds familiar.

Ceviche.

Galapagos.

Almond butter.

Saddle bags.

Lupita Nyong'o.

This is hopeless.

Let's just put her in the asylum and be done with it.

Asylum.

The... The... The lunatics are taking over the asylum.

Oh, good, she knows who she is.

You're free to go, ma'am. Have a nice day.

Good job, Geils.

Wait.

Where'd you get that tattoo?

I have a tattoo?

It's a walk/don't walk sign.

What? Seriously?

That's terrible.

Do you think they could turn it into a dolphin or a yin-yang?

Yeah, probably.

Something's wrong here.

No, we were just telling her it could be changed

into something else so she wouldn't get upset.

We need to figure out who she is

and who put her in that bag.

Showing up naked in a backpack is not a crime,

and without crimes to solve,

we're just two people in businesswear.

What are we supposed to do, drop her off at the bus stop,

where she has to turn tricks to buy a candy bar?

Guys, you aren't far away enough where I can't hear you.

Look, it was exciting

when she crawled out of the backpack,

but now she's eating up our whole day.

She's all alone.

Dr. Scholls?

Can you pack her up for me? I'm gonna take her home.

Let me grab her food and her toy.

How you doing?

I'm just glad I had an extra set of pajamas.

Why are you being so nice to me?

I guess I can relate to someone who doesn't know who they are.

But we're gonna have to come up with something to call you.

Oh, I remember my name. It's...

How about Deirdre?

Okay, sure.

Anyway, you know where the towels are,

and help yourself to anything else.

Just try to get some rest.

Thanks.

Good night.

It's a one-bedroom.

Night-night.

Are either of you familiar with the murderer

Edward Stracciatelli?

Uhh...

Uhh...

Geils!

He's one of the Stracciatelli brothers.

They ran a pyramid scheme about five years ago

based around an energy drink

that promised to make you immortal. Oh, yeah!

Didn't one of the brothers rat out Edward, so he killed him?

Yes, and then the third brother

ratted out Edward for the murder.

In any case, he was in Huggies Maximum Security Prison

until this morning, when his cell was found empty

by prison authorities.

I thought nothing gets out of Huggies.

Your job is to catch him and put him back.

Hopefully by this Saturday because I'm planning a little...

engagement party for me and Wiedner.

- Wow, lieutenant! - Oh-ho!

I don't want to make a big deal out of it.

It is a big deal! That's great! What are you talking about?!

I said I do not want to make a big deal of it!

Thanks for the clothes.

I'm just glad I had an extra suit.

But maybe we could also stop at a store.

You're welcome.

I think I remember what happened.

My parents, they left me at home,

and then these two burglars, they tried to break in,

but I set all of these elaborate traps.

We watched "Home Alone" last night.

Oh.

Don't worry. You'll figure it out.

How's your head?

Where'd you learn to do that?

I don't know.

What?

Oh!

Ah!

Ah, no knife training. Got it.

We've gone through Edward's cell top to bottom.

No clue how he escaped.

Great. Okay.

Well, thank you for your help... Guard.

It's pronounced "Gward."

Okay, I'm Edward Stracciatelli.

I'm in my cell, and I'm gonna escape.

How do I do it?

I don't see nothing out of the ordinary.

Geils.

Bologna sandwich. Of course.

Every day, Stracciatelli gets a bologna sandwich for lunch.

He sustains himself on the bread and chips

but starts stockpiling the bologna.

Pretty soon, he'll have enough bologna to get down to business.

Bologna key.

Bologna clothes.

And a bologna ride.

That all makes sense except for one thing.

What'd he put in the gas tank? Bologna doesn't burn.

He had help.

This is where we found you. Anything ring a bell?

I don't know. It's all so foggy.

Where'd you learn to do that?

I don't know.

Hey, you.

Oh, my gosh. How are you?

Sorry. I have no idea who you are.

Scott. Yeah, remember?

We had a great time, and you told me

you were gonna call me, but I never heard from you.

Good thing I saw you. You know what?

This time, I'm gonna get your phone number.

I don't mean to be rude, but I have amnesia,

so I don't remember anything.

I'm really sorry.

Amnesia? That's what you're going with?

Wow. That's a new one.

What is it about old Scotty that makes women "get amnesia"

or "move to Colorado"

or "get cast in a Bolivian Cirque du Soleil"?

Sir, she really does have amnesia.

You know, all I did was like you,

and it wasn't just because you were

the only person that matched with me on the website.

I liked the real you.

I liked the person I sat across from at the table

who paid for my dinner.

Good luck with your amnesia.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go get my model trains repaired.

I am so sorry.

It seems like people just don't understand

what you're going through, but I'm here for you,

and we will get your memory back.

No, I totally remember that guy.

Really small pinkies.

I remember when he picked me up at my house in his mom's car.

Your house?

Oh, my God. I-I remember my house.

Gray Craftsman with a-a big front porch,

a chimney on the roof, knobs on the doors,

grass on the lawn,

a sidewalk just beyond the grass, and a curb...

9285 Basil Drive. I know that house.

L.A.P.D.

We want to ask you some questions

about the bologna motorcycle parked outside.

Yeah, it's been parked out there for eight hours.

We're gonna have it towed.

Any chance your cameras caught the guy who rode it in here?

It's possible, but the manager doesn't let me

mess with the security footage.

Can we speak with the manager?

That's me. How can I help you?