Blockbuster

So, three years this March?

Sorry, I've been meaning to come in. I've been...

Busy. No, I get it.

But like Ferris B. said on his day off, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't..."

Netflix. I've been doing Netflix, you know, like, well, everybody.

- Zing. - Their algorithm keeps recommending

The Great British Bake Off, which is trigger for me

since Amanda left me for a chef from Manchester

she met on Facebook.

Yikes. Sorry, that sentence just kept getting worse.

I bet that guy makes a good living. Croissants are so expensive

and you have to be Scrooge McDuck to afford the chocolate one.

- Way to focus on what's important. - What is important?

Not washing your hair every day.

Anyway, as always, I have the perfect movie to cheer you up.

So many great breakup films.

Eternal Sunshine, High Fidelity,

and if you're feeling freaky, Midsommar.

I have a good one. Oh, what's it called?

It's with the lady from the smartwater ads and Van Jones.

- From CNN? - You don't speak Connie.

She means Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

- TheBreak-Up. - No spoilers. Haven't seen it.

All good suggestions, gang, but I got this.

Under the Tuscan Sun?

Are you sure?

Doesn't really seem me.

I've been working here since seventh grade.

- That is not the flex you think it is. - Anyway, trust me,

you need to get out of your lane and into Diane Lane.

- Okay. Thanks. I'll bring it back soon. - I'm not going anywhere.

- Don from Corporate. - Ooh.

- Donny. What's going, Don? - Every time. Look,

no easy way to say this. Seven more Blockbusters closed.

You're the last one on Earth.

Uh, I don't love the pattern that's starting to emerge.

I'm sure you are gonna be fine.

Yeah. Maybe you're right. Change can be scary, but oftentimes...

- Nice knowing you, Timmy. - What?

- You said we'll be fine. - And you probably will be.

I, on the other hand, am screwed. They're liquidating Corporate.

This place is gonna be a WeWork by tomorrow morning.

Well, don't worry, Don.

I'm sure you'll also be fine. Hello?

You okay?

No. How do we replace an entire corporate infrastructure?

Purchasing, rental tracking.

They paid half our rent.

My God. They did?

- I mean, we'll figure it out. - That's what I said to Mindy

from Mindy's Travel Hut before she went out of business.

- My point is the Internet sucks. - I would love to disagree,

but also Logan Paul, TikTok influencers,

those BuzzFeed quizzes

that tell you which Bridgerton servant you are.

- I make Lady Danbury's tea. - Ooh.

My whole life is this store.

I love Blockbuster.

I should've seen this coming, but I guess I just didn't want to.

But look around.

DJ Steve's Hip-Hop Flip-Flop Shop, gone.

It was the most popular pill mill in Michigan.

Now it's a ghost kitchen.

You could make a good riddance argument for those places, but I hear you.

I don't miss places, I miss people.

Humans need to interact with each other.

Mindy made me laugh every morning.

DJ Steve gave the best advice.

So long as you steered clear of his opinions on pronouns.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Of course you are.

- Timmy, you're a dinosaur. - And you're not good at pep talks.

But you're the last dinosaur.

Like my professor at Harvard used to teach us.

Turn your bug into a feature.

Used to teach you during one semester?

- It was a semester and a half. - Seamless Harvard drop as always.

The point is, it might not be a bad thing that you're the last Blockbuster.

It might be a good thing.

- Listening. - I bet it's about his parents.

He's been struggling since they got divorced.

In middle school.

Maybe he got in that fight with his roommates again about beer before liquor.

Or he's bummed because he's a grown man with roommates.

Duh, he's just freaking out because we're the last Blockbuster.

- What? - Look.

- What are we gonna do? - We are gonna throw a block party.

A block party?

That's your idea?

No, I like it. I just thought it would be better.

I'm sorry, I meant smarter. Thought it'd be good. Keep going.

Look, a friendly neighborhood block party

is the perfect cheap way to drum up new memberships

while reminding everyone that small businesses

offer something the Internet can't, human connection.

Like you said. Like you did with that guy, Jeff.

- I did say and do that. - Come on, we can do this.

Wow, I have not seen you this stoked about anything

- since you started working here again. - Well, sorry, if I haven't seemed stoked

to be working the job I had for one summer in high school.

Remember when that goth kid got his hand stuck in the return slot?

Oh, yeah.

Back then I chose to be here

as opposed to being forced to take a job I am way overqualified for

just so I can afford the studio apartment I had to rent

because I caught my husband Aaron

on a date with a 25-year-old also named Erin

at the restaurant in Costco.

The girl your Aaron slept with was also named Erin?

- Why is that worse? - I don't know, but it is.

Okay, a block party. I like it. This is gonna be so...

Stupid. A block party?

Start looking for jobs now. As if there are any.

This town is not the land of milk and honey,

especially since they shut down the dairy and the apiary.

I'll light a prayer candle the second I get home.

I'll wish upon a star. How am I supposed to be next Tarantino

if I don't work in a video store?

Uh-huh. Yeah, that's what's holding you back.

This is the only job where my boss didn't yell at me

or ask if I can do the splits.

- I have to go back to selling leggings. - I can see my friends.

- I love you more than my real kids. - I can do the splits, but...

Guys. No one's going anywhere or doing the splits.

I know things seem bad, but someone very smart once said:

"Your greatest weakness can be your greatest strength."

It was me.

Be less thirsty.

Maybe our greatest strength is we force people to get off their asses

and hang out with humans.

That's more important now than ever because...

- God, careful. - Uh, what's happening?

We can't be consumed by our differences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

Perhaps it's fate that today is the 19th of September.

We will once again fight for freedom.

Not from tyranny, oppression or persecution, but from annihilation.

- Is that from Independence Day? - Yes.

Today we celebrate our Independence Day

from all the corporations ruining this country

by throwing the greatest block party ever seen

and signing up more members than that sex cult

with the creepy volleyball guy and Chloe from Smallville.

Yeah!

Blockbuster on three.

One, two...

Isn't it ironic the small business taking a stand

against the big corporation in this scenario

is a franchise of a once huge corporation

named after the type of big corporate movies

that killed smaller movies?

Really, dude?

Sorry.

Okay, so for this to work

it's gotta feel like we just invited our neighbors over

for a casual neighborhood barbecue

because we're not just small business owners,

were also neighbors.

"Don't say "neighbor" so many times. You sound like Mr. Rogers.

And action.

So we have Carlos and Hannah doing online marketing.

Connie's working with stoners on snacks.

Kayla's putting up signs she made around town.

We'll talk to Patrice about a mani-pedi station

- and Carol about a shooting gallery. - Consider me enlisted.

Okay.

Rene has a petting zoo hookup.

- Mitch will serve drinks. - He'll serve anyone.

And you'll give one of your speeches.

- Don't mind if I do. - That just leaves Percy.

We need Party! Parti! Parté! for supplies,

but need Percy to let us use the strip mall.

We got this. Percy and I are best buds.

Hard pass.

This sounds like a four alarm snooze fest.

Wouldn't those alarms make it hard to sleep?

Look, as a party industry professional,

I can't be associated with some lame-ass potluck. Okay?

My strip mall, my rules.

Percy, man, come on.

Unless...

- Unless I can goose it up a notch. - You're mixing idioms.

- You calling me an idiom? - That'd be idiotic.

If I were refereeing a game of National Parks Monopoly,

you two would be my parents now.

Maybe we can not let our personal feelings cloud our judgment.

- Thank you, Tim. - Yeah.

Yeah. First thing you're gonna need is a foam machine.

There's nothing sexier than turning the ground into a bubble bath.

Yeah.

People go crazy over it. All that foam's everywhere.

Start making bubble angels and they love it. They love it.

Yeah. Sexy is not really a vibe that we're going for.

- We need a DJ. - No, no, no. DJs plural.

- What? - Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

DJ battle!

You gotta have a big-ass inflatable car dealership-type gorilla, son.

Obviously, son.

Why though, son?

To draw people in. See, that is why you got kicked out of Harvard.