The Loud House

Poo-poo.

- I hear the screams are so loud,

you can't even hear yourself scream.

I hear it's so scary

they give you diapers before you go in.

- I hear a deranged clown chases you with barbecue tongs.

- What are you guys talking about?

- The Royal Woods House of Terror

just opened for the season

and we're finally old enough to go.

Check it out:

Zombies, vampires, mutants,

all waiting to pounce on you the minute you step inside.

- Dude, don't bother telling them about it.

They'll never go.

Everyone knows they're the biggest chickens in our class.

Oh, yeah?

Then how come we already got tickets to it, Chandler?

We did?

Oh, right, we did.

I totally forgot because I'm so excited

and not at all terrified.

Oh, really?

When are you going?

Uh, tomorrow night.

- Cool, then we'll get our tickets for tomorrow night too.

That way, we can all go together.

- Great, looking forward to it.

I'll bet you are.

- Oh, man, what did we just do?

How are we gonna get through the House of Terror?

- I won't even get up to pee at night

if my Blarney night light isn't on.

I better call Dr. Lopez.

Oh, no, it went to voicemail.

Wait, I've gotan idea.

Maybe we can toughen ourselves up before tomorrow night

so we'll be able to handle the House of Terror,

and I know who can help us.

So what do you say?

Are you up for scaring the daylights out of us?

- Yeah! - I'm in.

- Lucy, you're our resident scream queen.

What do you suggest?

I've got a few ideas.

We're ready, Lincoln.

We can do this.

Totally.

both: Clincoln McCloud.

- Uh, it doesn't look so bad.

Thanks for the encouraging pat, buddy.

You too.

both: That's not me.

all: Boo!

both: Ugh.

- Whoops. - Whoopsie.

This is my fault.

I gave you too much fright too soon.

- It's okay.

- You m-m-m-meant well.

- We'll dial the scares back a little for round two.

- Okay, Luce, we're ready to try again.

What have you got for us?

- Actually, I just ordered you guys a pizza.

Oh, and there it is.

- Pizza? Not afraid of that.

Me neither.

both: P-p-p-pizza!

- Oof. - Oh.

Oh, too much?

- Sorry, I'll dial it back some more.

You guys better now?

Okay, let's try this again.

- Lincoln, Clyde, I'm glad you're here.

I have a bone to pick with you.

Or should I say 206 bones?

Sorry.

Here's an easy one.

All you have to do is go down in the basement.

We can definitelydo this.

Though it sure is dark down there.

Sorry.

All you have to do is go in my room and open the coffin.

Brightly lit empty room?

We got this one.

It's empty.

- Phew, that wasn't so bad.

I knew you could do it.

both: Whoa!

Sorry.

Okay, even less scary.Got it.

- Lily, wrong time to break out your new wolf jammies.

Sigh.

- Hey, guys. - What's the word?

- Hello. - Hi.

- Uh, why are you wrapped in blankets?

And, Lincoln, why are you holding Bun Bun?

Lucy's been trying

to prep us to go to the House of Terror tonight.

- We told some classmates we'd meet them there,

and we don't wanna look like chickens.

- Dudes, I worked at the House of Terror a few seasons ago.

I used to haul people to the first aid tent

when they passed out.

Passed out?

- Yeah, I'd just throw 'em in the wheelbarrow.

Wheelbarrow?

- Tell you what, why don't I call

and see if any of my friends still work there?

I'm sure they'd let us

take a tour of the place with all the lights on.

Maybe that would help make you less scared.

both: That'd be awesome!

- This place doesn't look so bad, Clyde.

Yeah, we got this.

Why, hello there, Mr. Squirrel.

High five, boop.

- You guys ready for the tour?

- We got to stop doing that.

- You can do this, little dudes.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Ah!

both: Spider webs!

- Check it, they're just string.

both: Huh.

- They're just paper-mache.

Styrofoam.

Food coloring.

Toilet paper.

Yogurt with fruit mixed in.

See, it's all special effects.

I guess you're right.

That's not!

- No, it's just Mrs. Bernardo, my old drama teacher.

Hey, Mrs. B.

Bobby, what a nice surprise.

What brings you back to Royal Woods?

- Just giving my friends a tour.

Hello.

both: Hello.

- Tell your mom we miss her at bingo.

Will do.

Relax.

That's just Mr. Wisniewski, the crossing guard.

He likes jobs where he can be on his feet.

Oh, thank you, sir.

And, finally, this is what

we in the haunted house biz call a bail out door.

Ooh.

- Things get too scary tonight, you can just run outside here.

- Thanks, Bobby, but I don't think we'll need it.

- Yeah, this place is just special effects

and friendly town folk.

It's not scary at all.

- You really saved our butts, Bobby.

Can we treat you to a thank-you Flippee?

Oh, you bet.

But before we leave,

I want to go say hi to the flesh-eating mutant.

He's my old T-ball coach.