Hallelujah, I'm a Bum

DID YOU GET IT?

YES, YOUR HONOR.

IS HE DEAD, BUMPER?

SURE, HE'S DEAD.

THE FALL MUST HAVE KILLED HIM.

GET THAT COMMONER FOOD AWAY FROM HERE.

WE GOING TO FRY HIM, BUMPER?

NO, WE'RE GOING TO BROIL HIM.

OH, FRYING IS BETTER.

NO, I THINK WE'D BETTER BROIL HIM.

OH, GO ON AND FRY HIM.

NOW, LET ME DO IT MY OWN WAY, WILL YOU?

WE BROIL HIM.

WE FRY HIM.

WE BROIL HIM.

WE FRY HIM.

SUPPOSE WE DON'T FIND IT?

WE'VE GOT TO.

YOU MUST GET A PICTURE OF MAYOR HASTINGS HOLDING THAT GOOSE.

YES, OF COURSE. WITHOUT THAT,

THE OTHER PICTURE'S OF NO CONSEQUENCE TO ME.

DROP THAT GOOSE.

BUMPER! WELL, IF IT ISN'T MY OLD PAL!

GENTLEMEN, MEET THE MAYOR OF CENTRAL PARK.

AND IT'S A PLEASURE TO SHAKE THE HAND

OF THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK ONCE MORE.

YOU CAN GET THINGS READY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

SO FAR AWAY FROM NEW YORK, YOUR HONOR?

ACORN AND ME ALWAYS SPEND OUR SEASON IN FLORIDA.

OH.

AND, BEGGING YOUR PARDON, SIR,

THIS IS HARDLY THE SEASON FOR SHOOTING.

OH, WELL, THIS IS MY DUTY TO MY LOYAL VOTERS. HEH, HEH.

ONE GOOSE FOR SO MANY VOTERS?

HEH, HEH. WELL, YOU SEE, BUMPER, THE VOTERS DON'T CARE

HOW OFTEN A PUBLIC OFFICIAL TAKES A VACATION

OR HOW LONG HE STAYS,

JUST AS LONG AS HE KEEPS HIS PICTURE IN THE PAPERS,

HOLDING A DUCK OR A GOOSE OR A DEAD FISH IN HIS HAND.

I'M SORRY, YOUR HONOR,

BUT THE GOOSE GOT SLIGHTLY BALD.

HA, HA. WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TURN THE OTHER SIDE TO THE VOTERS. HEH, HEH.

ARE YOU READY?

ALL SET, YOUR HONOR.

EXCUSE ME, BUMPER.

THIS WAY, YOUR HONOR.

OH, OH, ALL RIGHT.

E ARE.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

OH, YEAH.

HOLD IT.

GOOD. YES.

JUST A SECOND, YOUR HONOR. ONE MORE PICTURE.

LET ME HAVE THAT, WILL YOU?

THANK YOU.

WELL, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

WELL, WE DIDN'T GET A PICTURE

WHEN YOU WERE MADE AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE TRIBE.

OH.

ALL SET? HOLD IT.

GOOD.

YEAH, HEH, HEH. WELL, THAT'S FINE.

NOW, I'LL TELL YA...

GET THOSE PICTURES IN THE NEW YORK PAPERS

BEFORE I ARRIVE THERE, WON'T YOU?

YES, SIR.

AND I'M GOING TO COOK THIS GOOSE WITH... WITH BUMPER.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS, ARE YOU?

NEVER MORE SERIOUS IN MY LIFE.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, COME ON.

WELL, WHO'S THE COOK?

I'M THE CHEF.

I'M HIS ASSISTANT.

OH-HO, IT LOOKS AS THOUGH MY GOOSE WAS COOKED.

HERE, ACORN.

TAKE THAT GOOSE OUT AND CLEAN IT UP PRETTY.

WELL, BUMPER, WHEN DOES YOUR SEASON IN FLORIDA END?

YOU KNOW ME, YOUR HONOR.

WHEN THE BIRDS FLY SOUTH, I GO WITH THEM.

WHEN THE BIRDS FLY NORTH, I FOLLOW THEM.

ACORN AND ME ARE LEAVING FOR NEW YORK TONIGHT.

YOU'RE A QUAINT FELLA, AND I LIKE YOU,

BUT YOU NEED REFORMING.

YOUR HONOR, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ME?

EVER SINCE YOU STOPPED THAT BRICK THAT WAS ADDRESSED TO ME

WHEN I WAS MAKING A SPEECH DOWN IN UNION SQUARE

ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO.

YOU PROBABLY SAVED MY LIFE.

AND FOR THAT, YOU WANT ME TO GO TO WORK, HUH?

WELL, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU.

BACK IN NEW YORK, YOUR HONOR,

WHEN YOU GO TO THE CASINO FOR LUNCH,

WHO'S THE FIRST PERSON YOU SEE?

ALL RIGHT, BUMPER, I'LL PLAY.

BUMPER IS THE FIRST PERSON I SEE

WHEN I GO TO THE CASINO FOR LUNCH.

RIGHT. THEN WHAT HAPPENS?

WELL, I SLIP YOU A LITTLE MONEY,

THEREBY COMMITTING A GREAT WRONG

BY ENCOURAGING IDLENESS IN YOU.

AND AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE COMMITTING THAT WRONG,

IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME.

HEH, HEH. YOU WIN, BUMPER.

I'M LEAVING TONIGHT FOR NEW YORK.

I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY.

I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU.

CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE TRANSPORTATION?

OH, PLEASE, YOUR HONOR, IT KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE I WAS HINTIN'.

BESIDES, I HAVE MY TRANSPORTATION.

ARE YOU SURE?

ACORN,

ARE WE SURE?

YES, MR. MAYOR.

WE ALWAYS GET ROUND-TRIP TICKETS.

BUT WE'LL TAKE A COUPLE OF DOLLARS

TO TIP THE PORTER.

TELEGRAM FOR HIS HONOR, THE MAYOR.

TELEGRAM, SIR.

SEND A WIRE TO MISS MARCHER

TO MEET ME TOMORROW 00.

AND CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS FOR TOMORROW.

OH, I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT YOU'RE SCHEDULED TO LAY A CORNERSTONE AT 12:00.

A CORNERSTONE?

PUBLIC SCHOOL NO. 44, DISTRICT 11.

SCHOOL 44, DISTRICT 11.

MUST I LAY IT?

I'M AFRAID SO, SIR.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, THEN,

BUT BE SURE I MAKE 00.

VERY GOOD, SIR.

I'M COMING BACK,

BUT I'M NOT SO SURE I BELIEVE YOU.