Bob's Burgers

Uhh....

Tina, if you're gonna lay on the floor,

at least roll around so I don't have to mop up later.

What's wrong with Tina?

Puberty.

Yeah. She's pubing out

right now pretty bad.

Jordan Sturman moved away,

and now I'll never play kickball with him again.

- Oh, you should kill yourself. - Yeah!

Gene and Louise, be nice.

You're gonna go through adolescence, too, you know.

Like that? Oh, sick!

Is she contagious? You shut up, mom!

Watch it.

You can't hurt me. I'm already dead.

Can I have your mustache, then?

It's only one hair.

It's the beginning of a great thing.

It's a huge hair.

I can't cut it.

It's beautiful. Leave her alone.

You're beautiful, Tina. Let me pull it out.

Let me put my foot on your chest.

Gene, get off. Enough.

Come on, gene. Let's go have a childhood.

My heart. My heart.

Shh, sweetie. I'm on the phone.

Ginger is very upset. Ha ha! Go on, ginger.

What? Ha ha ha! No!

Come on, Tina. Get up. You're on the grill.

Why?

Come on. Cheer up, you know? We're having fun.

- We are? - Yeah.

Plus, it's father-daughter time.

Why don't gene and Louise have to have fun like this?

Well, Tina, you're the oldest,

and you have added responsibilities here,

like on Saturday mornings, for example, you're on the grill.

I can't trust them on the grill.

You know that. Fire comes out of it.

Ha ha! I know. It's awful.

All right. Bye.

Ginger's cat died but in a really funny way.

- Ha ha ha! - Oh...

Tina, we just saw the most amazing thing ever.

This might be the best day of my life,

besides the day you kids were born.

Words can't explain this.

You just have to see it.

Come with us. Come on, Tina!

I can't. Dad won't let me leave work...

I mean, fun.

He won't let me leave fun father-daughter time.

You fell for that?

That's not a real thing.

Come with us.

Aw, Bob, let her go.

All right, fine, but you're gonna miss when I scrape off the grill.

That's the best part of the day,

although today has been pretty slow,

so there's not gonna be as much gunk to...

oh. Everyone is gone.

Oh. Ow. Oh!

Aren't you supposed to lead someone who's blindfolded?

It would ruin the surprise.

Where are we going?

At first, we thought it was a breakdancing class,

and them we thought it was a special needs class.

Now we think it might be a special needs breakdancing class.

Also, it's brazilian...

Slash hilarious.

- Sounds interest... - Stupid?

Oh, it's even more stupid than you could possibly imagine.

Just wait till we get near it.

They take off their shoes

so when they open the door,

the whole block smells like feet.

Feet that have been cooked in feet.

- Yes! - Still funny. Ha!

Oh! Ooh. Ooh. Can you smell that?

That's just what's coming through the walls.

That smells exotic, like ranch dressing.

Whoa, he's beautiful.

That's a man?

Where are you going?

I'm signing up for that class. What? Why?

- Oh! - Don't open the door!

The smell will kill us all!

Let me go. Let go of me.

- No! - No!

Oh, the feet smell.

The feet smell.

Wait. What is it?

- It's Capoeira. - Capo-what?

Tina, are you really sure you want to do this?

Yes, dad. Wait till you see it.

Jairo is amazing. I have a DVD.

Oh, by the way, I need $14.95 for the DVD.

Wait. What? What's jairo?

Hyah!

Ola. My name is jairo.

Welcome to the world of Capoeira.

Capoeira is the most seductive form of self-defense.

It combines peacefulness, fighting, and cardio

in perfect harmony.

Capoeira is breathtaking,

but it is also breath-giving.

You can advance through the stages

by earning different colored cords at the troca de cordoes.

Wow, I thought maybe you were doing it wrong,

but that's actually what it looks like.

They're bringing the tambourine back.

That's a pandeiro, a brazilian frame drum.

It's a tambourine. I'm gonna get mine.

Those guys don't know how to shake it.

I don't get it. I mean, what am I looking at here?

What is it? Is it some kind of dancing. What is it?

Jairo says it's not dancing.

It's a deadly form of street fighting.

Oh, yeah? Well, you don't need some male model to teach you how to fight.

That's what dads are for.

Come on. I'll show you some stuff.

Box with your old man, huh?

Uh! Uh! There you go.

Just got to... there it is. Uh!

Whoa, Tina. Good fight. Good fight.

That was fun to watch.

Jairo says if there's any Capoeira inside me,

he'll find it with enough classes.

- Jairo knows a lot about life. - Hmm.

- Jairo says he can hypnotize animals. - Shh.

But only if they want to be hypnotized...

Tina, shh shh shh shh.

- Which they almost always do. - Tina!

Jairo says toothpaste insults your teeth.

Tina, go to bed.

Jairo only needs two hours of sleep a night

because he regulates his heart.

Tina, get out.

- Jairo sleeps with his eyes open. - Tina!

Ok. Just follow my lead.

Sa! Sha! Brazil! Sa! Sha! Brazil!

Class is over.

We now have an hour of open practice time,

which is completely optional unless you're serious about Capoeira.

Mm. Mm!

Mm! Mm!

Ho! Yah!

Oh, I'm definitely staying.

Ah! Ho! Hih! Sa!

Tina is supposed to be here to cover the grill.

It's after 4:30.

She's at a kookaburra class.

Dad, the grill is doing that thing again.

Ach.

What is your problem with fire?

You know what? Go. Go away.

Go down and collect trash and bring it to the dumpster.

Does it have to be from around here, or can we go anywhere?

Just go. Yay! Yeah! Trash!

Yesterday I found a necklace.

It's time for my afternoon meeting,

you know, in the bathroom.

Your 4:30 meeting? Yeah, my 4:30.

- So go. - No.

Tina made a commitment to be here at a certain time.

I'm going down there to remind her

- that she has a job here. - Wait.

What about your meeting?

Well, I'm postponing it today.

Bob, you can't do that.

I'm gonna set a time for 10:30 tonight.

This is why I tell you, Bob,

just have little meetings throughout the day

instead of one big one, little poops.

Oof! Oh! That is horrible.

Wash your feet. I have an infection.

Tina. Tine. Psst psst psst.

Dad, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be back at work, Tina,

to cover me for my 4:30 meeting.

- Dad... - Oh, hello.

Please remove your shoes.

Oh, I don't want to take off my shoes.

I'm just picking up my daughter Tina.

Oh, you are Tina's father.

Ola. My name is jairo, like "gyrate."

Ola. Mine is Bob.

Are you sure you don't want to stick around?

I enjoy helping elderly men repair their aging bodies.

Thanks, but I got a job I got to get back to,

and so does Tina, plus I don't really dance.

Although Capoeira incorporates elements of dance,

it is a highly dangerous form of martial arts.

Right. I'm sure it is.

It seems like a great way to stay in shape,

like jazzercise.

Not like jazzercise. Whatever you say.

Class, would you like to see a demonstration?