Californication - Seventh Season

Previously on Californication...

- You'd seriously pay... - A million dollars to be inside of you again.

- That is fucked up. - I know!

- You're not gonna do it, are you? - I don't know yet.

We could really use the cash.

I'm on my way. How about you?

I will be. Shortly.

- 30 minutes or less. - Oh, Hank.

I don't want to wait for what already promises

to be a pretty unpleasant conversation.

I just got to see you smile,

before you go home, okay? One time?

I can't make any promises.

A drink with Karen... what's that all about?

Everything is so fucking crazy right now,

I don't feel like I can make the right move to save my life,

and she centers me.

Hank, shut up and listen to me.

I got to try to get through this without crying.

I'm... at the hospital.

Karen was in a car accident.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Why couldn't I have been on time?

Don't blame yourself, Hanky.

Why not?

She was going to meet me.

Yeah, the guy was drunk. He came out of nowhere.

It could have happened anytime, anyplace.

Yeah, you know how many times

I've driven around Venice fucked up?

It could've been me behind the wheel.

Yeah, maybe so.

But that shit doesn't matter now.

This is where we are, and she's gonna be okay.

You don't know that.

How is she?

Some fucking drunk broadsided her.

She got pretty knocked around.

She's in and out of consciousness.

There might be some internal bleeding.

What can I do?

You can stop crying, for one.

I can do that.

I'm doing that...

Right now.

Okay, and you maybe could donate some blood.

She may need some.

Is there something else...

I can do?

Historically, I've been known

to get a little bit woozy

when it comes to the giving of blood.

Maybe I won't be the right type.

Ow!

I'm not a fucking pincushion, woman!

I didn't go in yet.

Really?

You got to be kidding me.

It seemed like I felt every inch of that thing going in.

Now. Now it's going in.

Ha!

You're a sensitive one, ain't ya?

He's a fucking ninny, is what he is.

Woman was a fucking butcher, Hank.

Hey, how are you doing, buddy?

You hanging in there?

'Cause I'm here to help.

I feel a little woozy, though.

You know, fuck this!

Fuck, Karen. What are you doing?

Why are you being such an asshole about this?

I'm actually trying very hard

to be the opposite of an asshole.

Well, you know what? You're not doing a very good job.

You're the one who brought it up,

about me being a fucking asshole.

Yeah, well, because you're making it

so fucking obvious that you don't want to go.

Oh, really? How can you tell?

Is it because I've said it out loud many times?

Yet here I am, going where I don't want to go.

You know, don't do me any favors, okay?

Because it's just our entire fucking future at stake.

Jesus Christ, with the drama, Karen.

Do you know how many times

I've had to reschedule this appointment?

Do you know how many times

I've put my fist through a wall about it?

No, you know, I lost count.

- But you could ask Becca. - Nice.

Bring Becca into it.

Well, why shouldn't I bring Becca into it?

Isn't she the most important part of all this?

Isn't she the reason we should be trying to fix this shit?

Don't fuck with my shit, woman.

Have I always been such an asshole?

Different varieties of asshole.

Some more pernicious than others.

What the fuck happened to us?

What do you mean?

We were always... we were so great.

You know, we'd go out to dinner every other night.

I could've sworn we were gonna grow old together.

And now look at us.

We're still together.

Yeah. Yeah, you guys are really together.

You're so together you're contemplating

letting the love of your life fuck some other guy

for fun and profit.

Hey, Marcy's her own woman, Hank.

- I can't tell her what to do. - Yeah, you can.

You can fight against that shit, Runks.

Why did you tell him about Stu's offer?

Is nothing private, Runkle?

He's my best friend.

I needed his counsel.

It's a unique situation.

- You didn't tell Karen? - No!

She would totally frown upon that shit.

Right, she would,

because she's a sane and responsible adult.

She always had a way of centering us.

She was the best thing that ever happened to me,

and I fucked it up again and again and again.

- Hank. - No, it's true, Marcy.

You know, instead of celebrating

the fact that I was the luckiest guy on earth...

I just pushed her away,

figuring there'd always be time to work it out.

- There is time. - No, what if there isn't?

What if... what if this is it, you know?

What if we ran out of time?

You can't go through with this Stu thing.

You'll never get over it.

There's some things you should never get over.

That him?

Hank.

"Hank," what? It's a simple question.

Save it for in there.

I can't believe

I let you talk me into humiliating myself like this.

I'm out of here.

Hey, guys.

Welcome.

Hi.

Let's dive in, shall we?

- Yeah. - What brings you to me?

She's having an affair.

- Diving right in, indeed. - Jesus, Hank.

Well, that's why we're here, right?

To cut through the bullshit,

get right to the heart of the matter?

That's what I'm trying to do.

That's not the heart of the matter.

It's the heart of the matter to me.

It's... it's what matters to my heart.

- It's the heart of my matter. - Karen's right, Hank.

Wh... why did I know

that you were gonna side with her immediately?

No, no, no. No sides here.

I'm just suggesting

that affairs are typically a symptom

- of a larger problem. - Really?

Well, it seems like a pretty big fucking problem

in and of itself to me.

So let's hear from Karen.

Are you having an affair, Karen?

No, I wouldn't call it that.

How would you describe it?

Um...

- He's a friend. - An emotional friend?

I suppose.

Holy shit, Karen. An emotional friend?

I want an emotional friend.

Where do I get an emotional friend?

You had one.

Have you made love with him?

No.

But you've considered it?

Yeah.

I'm gonna punch a wall.

What's the sex like between the two of you?

- Infrequent. - Nonexistent.

Hank, why do you think...

Karen has developed an emotional bond

with another man?

Maybe because the guy in question is...

Bill his name is... fucking dial tone.

He thinks she's hot, and he wants to fuck her.

So he pretends to be interested

in everything she's interested in

so he can get into her knickers,

which works, trust me.

- You know, it's really hard... - With Karen, it works.

To have a meaningful conversation...

That's how you do it.

With someone who drinks himself

into a stupor every night.

I don't see what's wrong with a nightcap.

- Are you a big drinker, Hank? - What? Is this an intervention?