Shadows (Umbre)

Boss! Hey boss!

What's with the stuffy ears, boss?

I've been screaming myself deaf over here! Roll it down...

I got myself in a jam - fuck me sideways!

Will you give me a tow up to that auto shop on Vacaresti? My ride's quit on me.

Come on, it's ten minutes away -tops. The auto-shop, I mean. All right?

Come on boss, do me this solid. We'll have you back in fifteen, honest!

Come on, you've got a crowbar, right?

Boss... Go on, it's on me, there!

Let's go!

Come on!

What the bloody hell is this guy doing? Hey, man!

Hey mate, are you taking the piss? So I cough up the cash and you what?

Maaan!

You fucking thief. Go screw yourself!

I'll get your number, man, fucking asshole!

Motherfucker...

All right? I'm looking for Antonio.

We're closed.

-Antonio? I've come to see him. -There's no Antonio here, man!

-Isn't this Antonio's garage? -Are you deaf, man? We're closed.

There's no Antonio here. Now be on your way!

I was thinking this might still be Antonio's garage.

Even if Antonio isn't here himself.

Hi...Come back next week, ok? Go on...

-Take care, all the best to you! -Are you Mr. Antonio?

That's me. Come back next week, we'll have you all sorted then.

Hello there!

-Can't you hear me? -I can!

But the guys said Antonio wasn't around.

Never mind the guys, man. I'm Antonio.

Come back next week if you've got car trouble.

For fuck's sake, he's just standing there eyeballing me!

Are you deaf, boy?

The Captain sent me.

The Captain sent you?

After we agreed he'd give me some more time? Fuck!

-Tell him I'll get it for him... -Today! He wants it today. Now.

Better yet, you can go and fuck yourself!

And as long as you're at it, how about taking the Captain along for the ride?

-Hey, guys! -Yeah, boss.

Come on, you'd better...

Boss!

As long as I'm here, I'd just as soon get the money now.

Shadows Episode 1

What do you mean, you don't have the full sum?

See if I care! I've got expenses too, go figure!

Yeah, I'll see you... No, no, no -I'll see you in court!

Let's see how you like it when I seize your house!

-All right, man! -What's up, Relster?

Grab a case there!

How's it hanging, bro?

It's good. And if not, a little to the left.

What are you up to later tonight? I'm going to a party down in Colentina.

Grub, pussy, a cool time!

One of my mates is bringing a karaoke machine.

Bro, it's got it all! Never seen anything like it!

He's got AC/DC, Metallica, Stefan Banica, Romica Puceanu, you name it!

-How about Engelbert Humperdinck? -What, now?

Engelbert Humperdinck.

That hot cousin of mine's coming too.

The one I keep wanting to fix you up with.

Man, oh man, bro, d'ya know how fine she's gotten?

-She'll melt your popsicle, Relu bro! -You don't say, boss! I'll take it.

Hey, isn't she the one you went and fingered though?

Nah, that only happened once. She's a second cousin, doesn't count.

Like the poem goes:

no matter she's kin, if she's wet and keen, get under her skin!

Speaking of, is Nico in? Is she around? I brought her some dough.

Yap.

So can I count on you tonight?

Come in!

Just what I needed, a helping hand to get me sorted!

He said he'd bring it around himself next time.

So, how was it? Did he come to heel?

You know the drill. "Hang on, I don't have it, didn't see nothin'.

"Even if I did, I still can't,

"'cause I've got a memorial service for my aunt in Calafat's 2nd cousin."

I turned on the charm too.

I danced the lambada, asked him out for an eclair.

Till he warmed up to me.

Do you use these lines to pick up chicks?

It's easier with them.

It only takes a few drops of chloroform on a hankerchief, then...

-You take them by force? -Only those who don't go willingly.

What about those who do?

-Did you tell him? -No, I didn't.

-Tell me what? What? -You need to meet with Giani.

-Today? Right now? -Today. Now.

How many times have I told you, Nico?

Stop sending me when I've just finished my shift!

After 10 hours straight at the wheel, even my blood's gone numb!

I'll sort it out tomorrow.

What?

Tell him yourself you can't go 'cause your ass is numb!

All right then, boss lady.

It's not like I sprayed chloroform on your hankie and took you by force.

-How much does he owe? -Forty-two hundred.

But the boss wants a round number. Six grand.

-Sabin will join you. -To do what exactly?

To have Giani scribble get-well wishes on his cast?

Didn't you say you were busy?

He's been cooped up all day, see how gaunt he's looking?

How about showing some respect? You're not alone in here!

-It's good for you... vitamin air! -Say what?

-Better wait outside, go on! -Did you hear this guy?

If you see some soap lying around, don't bend over to pick it up.

Get a load of this, it's Relster!

The Pope himself could've walked in, would've been less of a surprise!

The Pope doesn't like your type...

...in the Handlebar Club.

-Come on in, join the gang. -I wouldn't wanna impose.

Why? You're not imposing at all.

-I had some onions. -So?

Pop Rica here's got cock breath too.

Join me outside, will you?

-Relster, hey! -What's up?

Relu, boy!

They say that if an electric shock pops you off underwater...

...your balls explode. All that's left of them is mush.

I'll turn you into tripe soup, bro!

-Careful! Don't do anything stupid, man! -Let's take a few steps in the shade.

Man, hold on, man!

What the fuck's with this song and dance?

Let alone you tearing into me in front of everyone...

now you get me back into the scrapheap after I'd just finished rinsing!

Just as well, you've got an excuse to go back.

I know you lot like to cuddle up like penguins.

Nice one! There, you gave me a scare, and a right scolding.

Bro, you really got on his tits. What did you do now?

What I did?! He can go fuck himself! I've always squared up with him.

Always, even gave him extra, motherfucking tosser!

Gone and forgot's all the loot I made him, huh?

All those girls from the Majestic, the Inter...

...then in Hala Traian, Colentina... who kept that whole stable going?

-God almighty! -He wants six grand.

What, six grand?! Try four grand and a half, tops!

Pop Giani, you're devil-may-care with the devil at your door. No joke.

Plus he saddled me with this guy, sharp as a marble, he is.

-No kidding! -Do you now Pinocchio?

Yap.

Last week he sent this guy after him. He was in a measly 700.

They locked horns, so he slit that guy's throat with a bed spring.

Then he sat there, watching him squirm like a pig on a spit.

For three hours, till it was done.

Relu boy, remember who you learned these pork pies from?

What's this man, the county fucking fair?

No shit!

Pop Giani, you've gotta fork some over now... at least a grand!

A grand shit on a stick!

If you don't have it, I can...

Bro, sod off before I blow a fuse! Fucking hell!

-Giani, give me just five hundred! -Relu man, stop badgering me!

Even if I had it, I still wouldn't give it to you, get my drift?

-Giani, pops... -I've had it! Bye-bye, baby, I'm gone!

I'm off, eat my dust! I found a grandson in Greece!

I'll send you a picture postcard, of me dipping my wick in the waves.

-Bye bye! -Bro, don't take me for a fool!

Come here! Go on!

Giani! Giani! Giani!

Open the door!

-Open the goddamn door already! -The fucking thing won't open!

Easy, easy!

What happened here, bro?

What's close by? What's the closest?

-The mall! -What's the closest HOSPITAL?

Just drive, fucking step on it!

You did me in, fucking A! You killed me in cold blood, Relu boy!

I got you back too, fucking got blood all over you!

-What's the plan, Relster? -Just keep driving!

Giani, how about I change the channel? Any special requests?

Do you have the one with your mom moaning on the beltway?

Damn bro, I treat you nice and what do you do?

You're an asshole!

Look at that blood, just pumping out of me! Fuuuck!

I'll put on some instrumental crap. To bore you to death!

-Make it a funeral song! -You're not gonna die, chill!