Jaspreet Singh: Koi Load Nahi

When I uploaded my first video on YouTube, I thought my tickets would start selling..

I might have a chance for India Tour,

Maybe, someone would call me to perform in Dubai

I might get a visa for Canada.

We never forget our end goal.

But my personal favourite was that 2 years back I got to perform in England.

Do you guys know England?

ENGLAND!

The place from where the villains of Lagaan belonged to.

So I performed over there.

Generally, wherever I perform, the tickets get sold and people come for the show.

Proof Attached. (pointing towards the audience)

But over there things were working out a bit slow.

I was selling tickets world-wide

Was wondering what’s the issue in England?

In India, if the tickets aren’t selling there is nothing to worry about, You can cancel the show.

And then Upload an Instagram story saying, ”Due to unavoidable circumstances…”

Whenever a comedian puts on such a story, you feel they are sick.

Actually, there weren’t enough tickets sold for their show.

But I was going to England.

Was feeling a bit bad,

I was thinking I will have to change two flights,

have to pick up alcohol from the airport,

Two people have asked for an iPhone.

Tickets were getting sold everywhere, in India, abroad... But then, why is it not selling in England?

Then one day I got a message on my Facebook page, I clicked on it

It said, “Dude…your tickets are so expensive that

In England,

we can watch a stripper show at the same price

Comma

Twice!!

After reading that guy’s message I realised two things,

One, the tickets are actually expensive,

I am not talented enough for this.

I cannot come and sit in your lap in the middle of a joke.

You aren’t laughing?!

Give me a little laugh… c’mon laugh a little

Given an option, I will not watch myself at that price

The second thing I understood was that,

It doesn't matter how big the Artform is

it will always be below Lust.

I did not feel bad after reading the message

What I feel is, my audience is very friendly.

After the show when we meet,

They tell me that they have bunked classes,

left some chores at home,

or left early from work to watch my show

All I ask is that if you are watching a stripper show instead of watching me,

at least tell her,

Lady, I left Jaspreet for you, do not disappoint me.

Strip! Strip!

Hang on to that pole and dance.

They should enjoy that show thoroughly

My life has changed a lot after standup.

I have performed in nine countries so far.

Wherever I am performing, right before starting the show,

Generally, someone would come and tell me,

Let's start the show. I say ok

Me: Has the audience arrived?

Them: Yes Me: Amazing!

There are a lot of Sardars out there.

So what can I do?

It's not under my control.

Should I say no to them?

That same dress code is not allowed.

And I have realized that people say this only at my show,

they never say this to any other artist, ” people from your culture are here”.

Then why me?...

At first, I used to feel bad.

What sort of casual racism is this?

Now I have stopped caring about it.

Now I am like,” Yes this is my Target audience”

When other comedians plan a show and put ads on Facebook, they target their audience with keywords like.

‘Stand Up Comedy,

Comedy Center’,

‘Laughter show’.

What I do is ‘Diljit Dosanjh’,

‘IELTS Coaching Center’,

'Gurudwara Singh Sabha’

My life changed a lot after Standup, I was a software engineer before this.

I worked in I.T. for seven years.

When I was working in I.T

we used to have events every year in our office when they used to call people from outside.

Not for a brawl!

“Our employees are worthless, just come and beat them”.

For the event.

Among them, there would always be someone whom we call a Motivational Speaker.

Have you heard about them?

They come and tell you on your face,

“See it's your job,

only you will have to do it”.

And I am like this is something my dad says every Sunday for free.

And we don't even listen to him,

Even though our mom also likes him.

Then I became a full-time comedian,

That’s when I understood that the motivational speakers who visited our office were scammers.

I got to understand it, because nowadays, college students are inviting me.

I get emails all the time,

“Sir, please inspire the youth”

“Youth gets inspired from people like you.”

And I read this email at around 2:30 in the afternoon while lying on my bed with the laptop on the chest

They ask me to inspire the youth,

and I am thinking, are they talking about me?

Inspire the youth!

I am thinking how low is the youth’s morale

that I am their only option?

After Sandeep Maheshwari, am I the only one?

True Story, Got a call from an I. T. company.

They asked me to conduct a motivational session.

I said What?

They said “Do it”

Every time I get an email, I decline.

But this time I received a phone call so I couldn’t say no.

It’s easy to decline an email.

You can say anything in an email...

“I have a confidential meeting

about economic reforms

with the President of Uganda.”

It is difficult to say no on a call.

I can't even say no generally.

This one time my dad asked me

“Are we fools who are paying your school fees?”

I could not say no.

Second thing, I have this voice in my head that always tells me,

“Try doing some worthless chatter”.

I asked who do I have to motivate?

Employees.

Where is the session?

In the office.

Where is the Office?

Gwal Pahari,

Gurgaon-Faridabad Road.

For those who don't know this, it’s an actual location. Let me explain.

This is Noida.

This is Delhi.

This is Gurgaon.

Then that area where couples go for make-outs.

After that the area where kidnappings happen

After that you reach Aravallis.

Have you read about it in Geography?

Ya, so people have opened up offices over there

They asked me to come there on Monday morning to motivate their employees.

I said, “If your employees are coming this far every morning, they are already motivated”.

Without any motivation, who goes to work in a forest?

Before coming, people even check the google map

for traffic, or hyenas maybe.

It's so far that once a taxi driver got kidnapped.

He is the only person to drive the car in which he is kidnapped.

They were asking me to motivate their employees on a Monday morning.

I said, “I am a freelancer.

I wake up when it's afternoon.”

I have already slept thrice, just today.

My life is pretty chilled.

It’s just me and my wife in our house.

She has a job.

I am just chilling all-day.

My life is so chilled being alone all day,

that if I go for a shower and I forget the towel outside..

Nothing to worry about.

Flex and walkout.

In case there is someone outside, it’s a robber.

He should see this anyway.

The person was still on the call,”Sir Please motivate”.

“What will I do when I get there?”

“Sir, our employees know you.

If you come down, they will feel nice”

“Okay, But what will I say? I have to say something right.”

He said,” Sir, your life has seen struggle”

I said,” Really?”

He said,” You have a Journey.”

I said,”Oh Ho! Imtiaz Ali on the line.”

He said,” Sir, talk about your struggle, your journey”.

I said,” Will you hold on for two minutes?”

He asked “What happened?”

I said,” I think I am having a cramp from laughing”

Do I really have any struggle?

See, I come from a privileged family,

and it doesn’t mean we were rich.

If you had easy access to food and education in your household, you are privileged.

It has never been like,” Dad I want to eat that sweet potato.”

”We will have to sell your books.”

“You can either have that or its spelling”

And why is struggle so overrated?

Why do people want to know… Do any of you want to struggle?

Nobody wants to struggle, but everyone wants to hear about it.

That is because we all are living a movie in our heads...

That If I get famous someday,

and they are planning to make a biopic on me,

there should be some struggle in it.

What will my biopic be like, “Jassi came and was always chilling”

He didn't care about the struggle.

Even while none of us are successful,

everyone still has a speech prepared

for Filmfare to the Nobel Prize.

You never know who will get famous and be invited to a Ted Talk,

So go ahead and put some struggle in your life yourself.

You walk outside, you see police, start slapping people in front of them.

For the sake of struggle, you need to spend a night in the lock-up. It's important.

If they call me up again, I will start lying openly.

“Dad used to beat me a lot”