Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy

Who knew a flying rock covered in Symbiote gunk could move this fast?

I am Groot.

Well, that's good news.

Groot says this goop grenade's heading straight for Spartax.

My family is on Spartax, Rocket.

How is being infested by vicious ink creatures good news?

I thought you hated your dad, Quill.

That doesn't mean I want my sister and billions of people

covered in feral, rage-fueled Symbiotes!

Agreed. It would be an inappropriate form of vengeance.

Drax the Destroyer knows vengeance.

And not much else.

Okay, look. Here's an idea.

What say we warn my baby sis about the space parasite fastball

speeding toward her planet?

Okay, you are not my baby sis.

This is General Glogug.

Empress Victoria is not to be disturbed.

Especially by you, Star-Lord.

Really? Well, I think she'd wanna know.

About the Symbiote-infested comet you're chasing?

I assure you, we have that situation well in hand.

The comet will be destroyed as soon as it is within range.

We already tried that.

If you blow up the comet, it'll just rain down Symbiotes all over Spartax.

No offense, but the Spartax Imperial Fleet

is far more sophisticated than a single derelict ship

manned by a ragtag band of pseudo-pirates.

Why do people always say "no offense" right before they offend you?

More importantly, how do we get Victoria's attention now?

We can't shout in the vacuum of space.

You're right, Gamora,

so I'm gonna have to shout a little louder.

I told the Star-Lord you were engaged

in a delicate military operation and shooed him away.

And that worked? My brother is nothing if not persistent.

Ohhh...

Open hatch 5 before he drools all over the windshield.

Baby sis, look. I knew you'd...

Aah! Ow.

What part of "delicate military operation" did you not comprehend?

Look, we were trying to warn you not to blow up that comet.

The comet you created by blowing up an entire planet, if my intel is accurate?

Well, does your "intel" mention that comet is full of...

Space parasites that turn people into feral rage monsters.

I know what Symbiotes are, Peter. Okay, so you know then

that the only things that even slow 'em down are electricity, sound, and massive heat.

Blowing up, not so much.

If even a fragment of that comet lands on Spartax...

Empress, the comet's nearly in range.

What are your orders?

Tell the fleet to fall back and everyone aboard to abandon ship.

Empress? Say what now?

That's an order, General.

All personnel, evacuate the ship.

This is not a drill.

Okay, it's been awhile since I've been on this ship,

but aren't the escape pods the other way?

They are. Take one and evacuate. I have an empire to save.

So how do you save an empire with no one else on the ship?

By deliberately smashing this ship into the comet.

Why are you still aboard? I'm sorry.

I thought you just said, "Smash this ship into the comet."

Wait. You're really gonna smash this ship into the comet?

Vicky, do not smash the ship into the comet.

You were right, Peter. Blowing it up won't work.

But the fuel on this ship should bring enough massive heat

to incinerate every last Symbiote on that comet.

What about the part where we incinerate with it?

Why do you think I ordered you to abandon ship?

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

This is what a true leader does.

They put the needs of their people over their own petty survival.

Well, it's kind of hard to lead from the middle of a flaming inferno.

How about instead we graze the comet on one side,

while the Milano pulls on the other side with a tractor beam?

Look, we might be able to deflect it away from Spartax and into the sun,

like a bank shot in pool.

Why would you shoot something while swimming?

It's an Earth thing. Don't worry. I got this.

Quill, what's going on? Huh?

Guys, execute Plan Bank Shot:

Eight Ball in the Side Pocket.

They actually know what that means?

Oh, yeah. Another krutackin'

stupid Quill plan we never tried.

I will not do this untested. I...

Sorry, sis, but you gotta trust me.

No, I don't!

Aw, come on. Just trust me a little.

No. Why not?

Past experience.

This stupid plan of yours better work, Quill!

Why does nobody trust my plan?

Yes! Told ya!

Now let's get off this rock.

Aw, krutack.

Excellent. We've upgraded from being a flaming inferno

to being covered with Symbiotes!

No wonder Father left you with pirates.

Imperial Fleet in reach. Cannon locked on target.

Sir, we're awaiting orders from the empress,

but her flagship does not respond.

Hmm?

Then we must assume the worst.

Quill, you alive under that gunk?

Guys...

I can hear you, but I cannot understand you.

That's nothing new.

Vicky and I...

Attention Spartax forces.

Empress Victoria and the Star-Lord

have been overwhelmed by Symbiotes.

I am taking command of this fleet.

Prepare to destroy that comet.

General, hold your fire.

The Star-Lord and Empress Victoria are still alive.

Their flagship's inside the comet.

You'll forgive me if I don't trust the word

of a daughter of Thanos. Ugh!

Then trust the word of Drax the Destroyer.

That comet is no threat to Spartax, General.

It is heading straight for your sun.

I am Groot.

If you won't take our word, then at least give us

the chance to save our friends.

Or you could just go down in history

as the dimwit who blew up your own empress and prince!

Hmm? Fine.

If you're going to prove me wrong, then do it quickly.

You heard the man. Get a move on!

That should keep the Symbiotes out.

For now. Don't worry, baby sis.

If the blobs break through, I'll be ready.

As will I, big bro.

I'm ready to make my last stand.

Yeah, well, I'm not.

And we may not have to.

Symbiotes are vulnerable to sound, remember?

I don't think they're gonna keel over

just because of your bad taste in music, brother.

Never underestimate the power of the Top 40.

This is DJ Star-Lord

with a special dedication going out to Empress Victoria

called "Get Off My Ship, You Freaky Parasites."

You actually did it.

My tunes!

I think we have bigger problems.

Uhh...

Hang on, baby sis. I just need to rewind this cassette.

Peter, forget your primitive music player,

and help me fight these Symbiotes!

Switch to lightning. I got you covered.

Oh!

Maybe you should watch your own back before you offer to watch mine.

Sounds like more guests.

Let's not be here when they arrive.

So you are a survivor.

If those Symbiotes take us over,

they could divert the ship away from the sun.

I will not let our sacrifice be in vain.

Nobody's sacrificing anything. I'll think of something.

Or my friends will. You'll see.

I am Groot.

Of course it's moving.

Duh! It's a comet.

But comets do not usually change course.

Those Symbiotes must've taken control of the ship.

They're headed back toward Spartax.

Attention Guardians. Clear the area immediately.

I now have full authorization to destroy the comet, regardless of who's aboard.

- What idiots authorized that? - These idiots.

General Glogug acts under the authority of the Galactic Council.