Extras

- Why did you do that? - It's called acting.

Why did you have to be quite so rough?

Strange, that's what a bird said to me last night.

25 years old, absolutely gorgeous.

We did it five times. Nearly wore me out.

By the end of it... bollocks like a bulldog, I tell you.

Cut! That's good, print that, move to the next one. Mike.

Richard, that's exactly what I was talking about with the smoke, thank you.

Right. I want to go in tighter, all right.

- Did you see me? - It was brilliant.

You'll get more money for that.

- Do I? - It's a direction, yeah?

- Yes. - You get more money.

- Excellent. - It's called supplementary performance fee.

- Talk to the production manager. - Brilliant.

- Am I going to sort everyone's life out? - Here we go.

Talk to the production manager and you'll get a few extra quid.

God knows you could do with it.

- These aren't my clothes. - You could have fooled me.

Hey, guys. Guys, people, can we gather around, please?

Guys.

This is Goran, this is the man whose story we're making.

Okay, he's the reason we're gathered here, to share his story with the world.

A lot of you might be thinking why am I making this movie.

Sure, you guys look at me as one of the world's most successful comedy actors.

What does that mean?

I mean, yeah, I make Along Came Polly and it opens to $32 million.

One of the biggest Martin Luther King Junior birthday holiday opening weekends ever.

Goes on to gross 170 million worldwide.

Meet the Parents, double that.

But what does the money and the success mean in real terms?

If I find a little orphan child in a war zone...

hiding in a burnt out building,

his parents murdered, persecuted for his race,

his religion, what am I going to do?

Pop on Dodgeball on DVD?

It's a funny film.

Thanks and I can put on Dodgeball

and he's going to laugh for an hour and 32 minutes.

You know, escape reality for a while, but what happens when the film finishes?

Back to reality.

Still an orphan, still living with fear.

How do I help him, hm?

Put on Dodgeball again?

Sure he's going to laugh again, he'll see things he didn't see the first time,

it's layered, it was made like that, but this can't go on indefinitely, all right?

At a certain point, you know, after the fifth, sixth, seventh viewing,

he's still laughing,

but it's not getting to the root of the problem, okay?

How do I help him?

Make Dodgeball 2?

Make this movie.

Make people think. Change attitudes.

So, think on that while you're sipping on your frappuccinos.

- And what are we doing? Mike? - Let's have a break.

Break time, okay, good. Thank you, thank you very much.

Thanks, everyone. Back at quarter past, thank you.

And I want you to just be coming straight in, without...

There shouldn't be a delay between when the grenade has gone off

and when you guys come around.

Ben, is it possible, please, more smoke?

- Was there more smoke? - Yes.

Okay, can I get more smoke, please!

- Thank you. - My pleasure.

All right, guys, now while we have the smoke, can you come around...

- Also... ...charging right... Yeah.

The Coke, it's not cold.

Sorry, okay, just kill the smoke for a second. What?

My Coke is not cold.

- Your Coke's not cold? - No.

- Okay, all right. Mike? - Yeah.

Can we get him a cold Coke? Okay?

Make sure his Coke is always cold, okay.

Look at that, he gets anything he wants.

I know, but he's been through a lot, hasn't he?

I know he's been through a lot,

but they're making a film, he's not a competition winner.

That's where the real power lies here.

- I think he's quite attractive actually. - Forget it, I know what you're thinking.

Never get involved with a man whose wife's been murdered.

That's awful. Why?

Well, for one, he's not going to be a barrel of laughs.

Two, you can't compete with her. It's not like the marriage started going downhill

and she was boozing and sleeping around, do you know what I mean?

She was taken from him at the peak of their love.

She's gone out on a high, she's like Marilyn Monroe or Jimmy Dean,

Never get involved with a man whose wife's been murdered. Rule one.

Choose someone else.

Well, who then?

It's as easy as that, isn't it, to you?

Yeah come in, just one second.

I think maybe I'm owed some money.

Some supplementary performance money or something, I think?

Right, give me one second.

Hi.

Hi.

How can I help?

Yes, the thing, the supplementary acting fee.

Right, I'll have to check with the first AD really.

- Let me get your details up. - Okay.

- What's your name? - Maggie Jacobs.

- Just take a seat, Maggie. - Thank you.

I hope your wife doesn't catch me on your sofa.

Or your girlfriend.

- I'm not married. - Or your girlfriend.

I haven't got a girlfriend.

- Or I suppose your boyfriend. - I'm not gay.

I should be worried your husband catches you in here.

I'm not married and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not a lesbian.

I'm all done, available.

Hello.

Erm, you get on well with Ben.

I wondered if you could sort of, like, have a word with him about me

because I'm a proper actor, I'm an extra in this but I've done, you know...

lines...

You okay?

Yeah.

What you got there?

My wife, pictures of my wife.

I heard about that, yeah, sorry.

- Memories. Wonderful love. - Yeah.

This is her, very beautiful.

She is.

Our first holiday. Here she is with my son, one year old.

- Nice boy. - Nice no more.

Dead. Dead boy.

My wife again.

Oh, I shouldn't look at that. Was she sunbathing?

No, she is dead.

- Lying in the street. - Oh, I see now.

- Dead. - Yeah, yes.

- Why did you take... - Why did I take photograph of her?

To show the world what must be shown.

This is why I want film to be made by Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller of Zoolander, sure.

You look. Dead, naked.

- Yeah. - You look.

I am, but I'm only looking at her dead naked face.

Where did you get these developed?

My cousin.

I was going to say, it's not the sort of thing you pop into Boots with.

Boots?

Oh, it's a chain of chemists, high street pharmacy.

They don't just do pharmacy now, they do everything.

They do gifts, sandwiches, weight watchers, smoothies, things like that.

We don't have Boots.

You missed a trick. True Print give you a free film when you get something developed.

So you're a mug.

Anyway, if you could put a word in to Ben to get me a line...

in this...

I'll catch you later.

He's got photos and everything.

- That's not going to help, is it? - No.

What worries me is I can't push it, can't go up to him and remind him,

"Sorry to interrupt you again when you're thinking of your slaughtered loved ones

"but that line, have you done anything about it?" Do you know what I mean?

Might seem a wee bit insensitive, eh?

Yeah, it could do.

- Oh, be warned, Jackie Greer's on the prowl. - Why?

- She's having a birthday do. - Forget it, I'm not going.

- I'm not going if you're not going. - Don't go, then.

No, but I can't not go because she's always really nice to me.

- Well, have an excuse ready. - Like what?

My standard is, "Oh, my sister's coming down to stay."

I find out exactly when it is, though. I go, "When is it?"

"This Saturday." "This Saturday?

"I can't, my sister's coming down."

You're gutted, you'd loved to have gone but family...

Oh, hello, you two. I like your hair like that. Isn't she beautiful?

Now listen up, no excuses.

My birthday this week, I'm having birthday drinks. I'm 21 again.

And I command you both to be there and I won't take no for an answer.

Okay.

- My sister's... - When is it?

- When is it? - Friday, after we wrap. It's only local.

- This Friday? - This Friday?

Yeah, Friday.

Oh, no, I can't do this Friday, my sister is coming down.

Well, bring her along, I'd love to meet her.

Okay, I'll bring her along.

- Well, you can't bring her along. - No.

- You can't actually physically bring... - Why?

You haven't got a sister, you're confused. My sister's coming down.

I just got confused.

- So you can come? - Yes, I can come.

- And you, darling? - As she said, my sister's coming down, so...

And as I said, bring her along.

But what she didn't say was she's coming down because she's ill.

Oh, brilliant.

- God, is it serious? - We're not sure.

- Well, send her my love. - I will.

- But I will see you there? - Definitely.

- Yes, I've got no excuses. - Yeah.

See you later. Bye.

Brilliant.

- Oh, my God, you're coming. - No, I'm not.

I've got to be punished because you didn't think on your feet quickly enough?

- I can't go on my own. - I can't go at all.

- What if my sister died? - What's she got?

I haven't got a sister.