Lost Girl

Resync for WEB-DL by 13-7

Your blood has spoken. You have chosen a side.

- What side? - You are dark.

Bull-shit. There's no freaking way I'm Dark Fae.

Bo. Succubus. Unaligned. It's kinda my brand.

Our gargoyle read your blood. You have joined the Dark.

Funny, you'd think I'd remember betraying everything I've ever stood for.

A mystery for you, Youngling ...

and he who led the Dark during your absence.

- Vex? - We, however, are satisfied.

- You may take your leave. - Oh, may I?

Buddy, this is my town. If anyone's taking a leave,

it's you and your circle-jerk of doom...

And if you see the human Doctor or that terrorist pet of yours

tell them we will see them soon.

- What did you say? - They are enemies of the Fae.

- Their deaths will be most painful. - And there it is.

What kind of boomerang bitch are you?

Strike at the Una Mens and you shall be your own victim.

For now, aligned Succubus, a choice:

Pay fealty to the leader of the Dark at once ... or die.

Are you adequately juiced?

Those Una Mens assholes pack quite a wallop.

And with Dyson out of town, I gotta find some way

to recharge the double Ds.

The batteries. My batteries.

Anyway, I just want to find the Wanderer and get this cleared up.

You think the Wanderer is behind the ol' "whoops

I tripped and accidentally joined club evil?"

Has to be. He takes me against my will,

wipes my memory, and when I get home I'm Dark Fae?

And I'll tell you who else is tied up in this...

Vex-meister General?

Una Mens says he's deep in da bullcacky.

He's the new leader of Los Dark Douchebags.

But we were such good mascara buddies.

Although he did send Clio to kinda scalp you.

Well, I'm gonna put the boots to Vex until he tells me where

- the Wanderer is and how I kill him. - Wait up, Dyson is still...?

- Looking for Lauren. Yeah. - Glad to see your love life

finally got less complicated.

- He has to find her. - He will.

- And she has to be okay. - She will.

- I love you, Sassafraz. - I know.

Now serving 69!

No duh.

Oh, look. If you're Dark, does that mean I'm Dark too?

Cuz I'm gonna need like, a serious image upgrade.

We should talk clothing allowance...

Trust me. We won't be Dark for long.

Ahem. Now serving 69.

- Right. - Now serving 69.

I'm dark?

Bo! I am so glad you could finally join us.

Life is hard when you don't know who you are

It's harder when you don't know what you are.

My love carries a death sentence.

I was lost for years...

Searching, while hiding.

Only to find out that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live the life I choose.

4x05 - Let the Dark Times Roll

I thought you were dead!

Surprise! And colour me shocked ... imagine,

the unaligned Succubus finally yanking her head out from

between her shapely legs and

coming over to the only side that matters.

Well it wasn't by choice, lady.

And I'm having it annulled, soon as you give me Vex.

Vex? Since when is that pervert capable

of anything above the belt.

He imprisoned your brassy beaver.

Right: Vex bad. Vex mesmer poop.

Sweetie, if it's Vex you want, come to my Dark Ceilidh this aft.

Dark kale-y? What is that code for vegetable enema.

A Dark Ceilidh is like a Light Fae party except with more...

- everything! - Everything except a Succubus.

Thanks, but I'll catch up to Vex on my own.

Look, if you were hoodwinked into joining the Dark,

you can get out of it simply by showing proof.

- Really? - The bad news is you have to show proof

before the first full moon since you joined.

- That's tonight. - Oh, right.

Well, there's no time to dawdle then, is there?

- Feel free to bring your human pet. - I'm not a pet.

I will never be anyone's pet, nor will any human.

See? Already getting the hang of being Dark.

Really? I mean, shut up.

Show up in whatever makes you comfortable.

Though there is one thing you might consider wearing for once.

- What's that? - A smile.

Oh brother.

Just get me something, anything on this Wanderer,

Wai Lin, and we'll do dinner.

Just dinner.

How dare you enter my private quarters without invitation.

That is a big knife for a bartender.

Depends on the bar.

You've been summoned

by the Una Mens for a personal inquisition

so get your story straight.

- Which story. - Your life story.

Wow!

You said "Dark" Fae, right?

"Please plant a tree in honour of our future"

Tree huggers? Bad swag? Not a UFC fighter in sight?

This is the worst Dark Fae party we've ever been to.

This is the only Dark Fae party we've ever been to.

And the only one we're ever going to.

Well then I best embrace my bad-girl. 'Scuse me.

Mhm. Dark side for life!

Yeah!

Okay well, Swizzlesticks do not let them poke out your eye.

There she is, the guest of honour!

Look at you, all edgy and shit.

You sure know how to grab the spotlight. Have you tried the buffet?

- There is something for everyone... - A human buffet?

I bet this one starts with vanilla and has a long, smoky finish.

Leave here at once. And take your friends with you.

Dismissing the food? Kind of gauche, no?

That's why there's no way I'm Dark.

Please. We're no different from the Light.

Did I get judgey on you just now? Yes!

- But I'm already over it. - Oh! My day is saved.

Because there's a refreshing lack of hypocrisy with us.

We're honest about what we are, Bo.

- So why aren't you? - I know who I am.

You're a luscious Succubus who's true nature is to feed off humans

like the rest of us Fae. You just choose not to.

Lame; but whatevs. You've got great hair.

Is that why everyone's looking at me?

Oh. They're delighted that you've found your true home.

They're happy for you.

The Dark Fae is not my home, and I'm not here

to make you look good in front of your subjects.

I just want to ask Vex how I ended up pledged to you goons.

- So where is he? - Oh. Somewhere.

I don't know. You're going to have to look for him.

You said he'd be here.

No, I said if you wanted him, you'd have to come to the party.

And now that you're here, I'm gonna give you every resource

in order for you to hunt him down.

Well, I'll just collect my gift bag and be on my way.

The Una Mens is cramping my style,

and they want every human that you love very, very dead.

I can protect my friends.

Una Mens won't leave town until all loose ends are tied up.

- And Vex is the loosest end of all. - Why is that?

'Cause he's vanished and somehow pissed them off.

I need to find him.

And apparently you need to find him too. I'd call that kismet.

Well, I'd call it kiss my ass while I walk away

- and do this on my own terms. - You're Dark now, Bo.

That means I'm not only your boss, but I'm your friend.

And I wanna prove to you how good a friend I can be.

We call to order the inquisition of Fitzpatrick McCorrigan.

A question asked, an answer given.

The result will carry great weight in determining your future.

Have you brought a second?

- I take care of my own affairs. - So be it.

How did you come to be here in the colonies?

Would you believe I took a wrong turn at Morocco?

I guess we have a lot to talk about.

Yeah, I guess we should.

Oh boy... this dress is incredible.

- Let's get you out of it. - Stat.

Ooh, Doctor talk...!

- Uh ... Mini quiche? - Get. Out.

Are you... maybe just leave the tray.

A humble Lakin Chan opens a bar and gains some prominence.

People do enjoy a stiff drink.

The Dal Riata was declared a place of sanctuary.

It gained you influence with the Light and the Dark.

I keep my nose out of Fae politics.

You must know how the Una Mens came to be.

After the Great Fae War, there was a rebellion.

Fae rebels trying to overturn the blood laws of the Blood King.

Why was that?

He became corrupt.

But a peace was offered, if The King would relinquish power

to a council made up of those willing to sacrifice

their individual flaws and desires.

And souls.

To form a single soul without ego or ambition.

The Blood King agreed. Then he betrayed us.

The six seeds of the sacred papyrus plant

were given to six Fae to swallow.

So they might be blessed with new life

as a single vessel of humility and justice.

The King stole his seed and vanished.

Absorb the power of the blood mage and the Una Mens

will be able to enforce the laws he wrote, unchallenged.

Unchallenged?

We would have him take his rightful place among us.

If we might find him.

You said there'd be dancing.

Why do you think we're carbo loading, Footloose?

These people don't seem so bad. What's the difference

- between Light and Dark anyway? - Well, the Light are assholes.