Thieves and Robbers (Cane e gatto)

BUD, THE GANGSTER TERROR

Captain Browning, how is it possible that a petty thug

simply runs away from two policemen?

Outrageous! Unbelievable!

A scandal! - Sir, don't underestimate the man!

He's like a cat! He has nine lives!

Then look for a dog!

One with 18 lives! - I'll get to work to work immediately, Senator!

I want your best man! From the special forces!

And keep it quiet!

If the press gets wind of it, I can forget about my office!

I think I've got just the man for the job, sir. Right for the job, sir! - Good!

As soon as he has Tony Roma, let me know!

Yes sir!

Good morning, madam! Today is your lucky day!

You can be the first to test our test our whirlwind vacuum cleaner!

Awarded 5 prizes at the at the world exhibition in Atlanta!

Not interested!

Are you deaf? I said: Not interested!

You have been selected by the computer and you can't say no!

You are entitled to a personal demonstration!

How dare you intrude like this... - And it is with pleasure that I show you...

...America's most powerful vacuum cleaner! - I told you: I'm not interested!

Please leave! - Here Madame, the whirlwind... See for yourself!

Compact design! The best money can buy!

It is battery-operated, without an annoying cable and has a practical dust container...

It is stronger, more practical and easier than any device on the market!

Only the whirlwind sucks the smallest particle away,

where others have already given up!

You are completely crazy!

The whirlwind: The vacuum cleaner for the space age!

If you don't leave my house immediately, I will call the police!

Do not touch the curtains!

Please leave immediately!

But that's not all: the American Association... - I'm calling the police!

Another award-winning feature is its adaptability!

No matter which surface: Coarse, fine, concave, convex, flat, uneven...

...1... 2... Your last chance! I'm calling the police...

Just leave! Get out of here!

Where are you going? No! Not to the top!

So simple! So clean! This is the whirlwind! That's Simpson!

And Simpson means: As clean clean as in the space age!

Even behind the pictures...

I myself am always amazed by the difference every time!

Who's that singing? - That's my parrot!

Do you have a parrot? The Whirlwind is perfect against bird droppings!

Tony Roma? - Yes sir?

Put down the comb and come with me!

Just like that? Who are you?

Police! - Should I testify against someone?

Against yourself! - Against me?

I don't know anything about myself!

Please just pretend as if you hadn't found it...

He is so good-natured and gentle...

That's what they all say!

But when he takes away your bling, things look different...

Come on, let's go! - Farewell, my love!

Get moving! Mam, a vacuum cleaner for you. Compliments of the Police Department.

Tony.

I could fight the crime in this city

and have to deal with with a little gigolo like you.

Please wait! We are both both professionals!

I provide real satisfaction. That is my daily bread!

And I have a good reputation! - Yes, that you're ripping off your customers!

I wouldn't even go to the steal something from the supermarket!

I am a service provider and have to cover my costs!

You see, Officer: A man A man has to see where he is!

It's not easy for me: I have to support my mother...

hardly speaks the language...

What is stopping you from from making a real career?

You can't imagine how often I have thought about it!

Sent my resume across the across the States! To Hollywood!

Because: I am a really talented rock'n roll singer!

But my time has probably probably not yet come!

Where are you originally from?

Well, I'm Anglo-Italian-Paraguayan...

...my father was English: Tall, blond...

Cricket and stuff like that. My mother is Italian.

And who comes from Paraguay?

Uncle Benito from Paraguay...

...he worked a lot with with my father.

Do you see? There comes a gas station!

Yes! A gas station! - I need to use the restroom!

And you want me to stop? - Yes, exactly!

Tony Roma? - Yeah!

Hey, not so fast! You're known for it, that you're always bouncing...

And I am known for that, never to lose a prisoner!

And you won't be the first! - Okay!

Too bad the batteries were empty... Back to the van!

Out!

Let's see how you're going to get out of this...

Come in, Sergeant.

This is Captain Braint.

Lieutenant Parker...

Great! I owe you one!

I'll send someone there. Where?

Get started! Yes... I have...

58th Street...?

Thank you again. Lieutenant. And congratulations!

And enjoy your vacation!

Don't worry about that!

What do you say?

Lt. Parker from the special unit has caught Tony Roma!

Someone collect him!

Shall I go, Captain? - No, you stay where you are!

Sergeant Forester to me, and quickly!

I have a task for you! - Yes sir?

Go to the parking garage on the 58th street.

Wrap this guy up. - 58th Street! Already on the road, sir!

Can I make a phone call? That's my right, isn't it?

What's stopping you? - Well, the car is very clingy!

You have the right to a quick call!

If you don't have any change, I'll lend you some in the name of the city!

Thank you very much!

Hello? Yes, listen, this is Tony Roma.

I would like to speak to my legal counsel John Robert Howard...

Okay, Tony...

Hey, Pamela! - Yes?

Tony Roma... He wants to speak to J.R. Howard.

Hello? - Hello?

Who is speaking? - This is the law office of Mr. Howard.

Hello?

This is an emergency! I need to speak to Mr. Howard!

Ah, he's on the phone on the other line...

That's bad. Well, all right...

Tell Mr. Howard that I've been arrested.

Yes, of course that was a mistake!

But if he could sort it out with the deposit, that would make me happy.

I'll soon be in... where are we going?

Second police presidency! - Thank you.

In 30 minutes in the second precinct, okay?

Don't worry, Mr. Roma. I'll let him know.

Thank you very much! Thank you very much!

Okay... so there was this guy, who wanted to quit smoking...

Bob! I need your help!

I'll be right with you. I'll just tell you the joke that Kermit the Frog told me!

...So this guy wants to quit smoking...

...and a friend asks him: Have you ever tried sweets?

And he: Sure! But they burn so badly!

I warn you: Everything you say can and will be used against you!

I was in bed. That is not against the law!

The woman and the bed belong to Senator Anderson!

But she is a beautiful woman and I am an attractive young man...

...well, that's a question of of sympathy! - Sympathy, aha!

And what about the ruby necklace, the diamond bracelets and the ring?

Gifts for my services...

They were reported stolen.

Stolen! Where are the jewels!

Who is your fence? - I don't have a fence. I took everything to the pawn shop.

Here is the proof. Take a look!

And what were you doing in Gladis Oppenheimer's bedroom?

I have only made one complaint!

Detective's office...

Captain... Senator Anderson.

Yes, sir! Senator Anderson! Yes, sir!

Sitting right in front of me! Yes, sir.

Absolutely...

Of course, sir! Whatever you say.

All right.

So my little cheap gigolo...

The senator is sending two Federal agents over to pick you up!

He wants to look after you in his own way.

Firstly as an angry husband and secondly as a politician!

Ah, Senator! - Okay. Captain! Where is that son of a bitch?

I don't want to waste time on this! I don't want a scandal! - Tony Roma?

I have just to your two agents.

Like you said on the phone! - What are you talking about? I did not call!

Do you think that's funny, Captain?

He sounded just like you! Must have been a voice impersonator!

You incredible idiot!

At least I have the jewels back. Here is the receipt.

I'm going to take two of my best men... - You and your men do nothing!

And what about Tony Roma? - Forget about Tony Roma!

Captain, can I get you something? - Bring me two aspirin!

My jewels! Edward! They're all here!

Every single piece...

Wrong, Virginia...

...my signet ring is missing. - Oh, it wasn't worth anything!

I'll just buy you another one!

The ring is more valuable, than all the stuff put together!

Don't you remember who gave it to me? And what was engraved on it?

To my dear friend Edward Anderson...

Always ready! Signed: Salvatore Licuti!

The most powerful mafia boss of all!

Can your birdbrain imagine the consequences?

Edward!

This ring in the hands of your fine friend...

...who has satisfied your carnal desires!

As if I had a gun to my head!

Why blame me?

Give me Capt. Browning and fast!

This is Senator Anderson!

Hey, is everyone ready?

Marian, are you ready? - Yes, Alan! Let's go.

Okay. I'll just turn on the alarm system on. What do you think?

Alarm on! - Yes, sure!

Take a look. We almost forgot we almost forgot little Billy!

Mr. Parker!

Hi Mrs. Pollifax.

Go to your mom, kiddo.