BattleBots

you're watching a Comedy Central sports presentation

of Battlebox with Carmen Electra, Tim Green,

Arge Barker, Brad Wallach, and me, Bill Dwight.

Tonight we've got quarterfinal action coming your way.

Battlebox, the place to come for the finest

in mechanical assault and robot battery.

We're here in San Francisco where hundreds of

machines have gathered for Battlebox glory.

Tonight Comedy Central Sports presents Battlebox.

Hello again everybody, I'm Tim Green and this is the

an eagle-eyed Bill Dwight. You know I like to wear

a sport coat, Tim, that's me. I call him as I see

him and tonight I see heavyweights in the house.

Let's hear it, Mark Farrell. Introducing in the

red square to my right, those screams that you

think you are keeping to yourself, well we're

hearing them loud and clear because it's the

Metador. This bot can exert 21,000 pounds of

force in just milliseconds. And in the blue

square, he spells danger for Will Robinson,

his next of kin, and several of his acquaintances. People of Earth, please welcome

Moe. Moe is a big surprise this tournament, just brutalizing his opponent.

The box is locked, the lights are on, it's

robot fighting time and Metador comes out like

bull. Boy, nobody wants to face either of these

bots. These are two definite contenders for the

nut. Metador takes some damage from the kill saws,

so does Moe. Moe chasing Metador, Moe strikes

Metador. That was Metador popping himself.

Oh, Metador loses a wheel. That was Moe popping

him. And Moe strikes him again. Metador unable

to get under Moe as of yet. Oh, that blade is

doing some damage. Oh, pieces everywhere across

the battle box floor.

And another wheel!

That's two gone!

Works, wheels, everything but smoke.

Look at the Metador now, he's still putting up a fight.

Moe has now been flipped.

Moe is taking the Metador to pieces.

Oh, now he just gets to carve lower in the wheels, Tim.

Oh, Moe! He has just been brutalizing his opponents.

Metador totally debilitated and he gets struck again.

Is that three tires gone?

Three wheels gone.

And I think this fight may be over.

Holy moly!

Holy moly!

That was something!

I'm going to count them out now.

Wow!

What an awesome display of total destruction.

Team inertial ads will not be adding a giant notch with the Metador.

Moe is really becoming a marvel.

Take a look at these replays.

Moe started the carnage early by ripping off one wheel.

Moe just keeps going and chews apart the Metador like a hungry rat.

Knockout in 142, here's the word from the winner.

Moe took the Metador apart, total dismemberment.

I bet he hopes he has insurance.

Yeah, there's not too much left of the Metador.

It was a brand new robot and you know how you hate to ding a new car.

Well, we sure dinged that new robot.

Great job, congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.

Now down in the stands, we've got Carmen Electra.

Stunning upsets, dramatic victories, one-shot knockouts.

We've seen it all in this tournament, or have we?

Judging by the excitement and the energy I'm feeling from the fans,

the best is yet to come.

Wedges, stomp bots, spin bots, they're all ready for action and so are we.

Let's find out who's moving up and who's going on home.

Tony Bucconiani.

Hazard.

Los Angeles, California.

Zach Bieber.

Del Diablo.

Monrovia, California.

Quarterfinal action.

Now, this is a quarterfinal contest in the middleweight division.

Introducing in the red square to my right,

four out of five dentists agree this two-time champion is bad for your teeth

and your head and your whole damn metal body.

Here is Hazard.

This spot is 11-0 and guaranteed to slice and dex.

And in the blue square, those metal shavings you see on his hull

aren't from his last retooling.

They're the stains of his last opponent.

Here is El Diablo.

El Diablo's three-pronged wedge tails called the Pig Sticker

can lift 240 pounds.

Tony, it's Tim.

What are you aiming for?

I'm going to try to knock his drum off.

We'll see if it works.

Zach, you got any complex strategy worked out?

Smack the hell out of it.

The box is locked.

The lights are on.

It's robot fighting time.

Oh, can the spinning drum of death do anything against that blade?

Diablo comes right after Hazard

and tries to strike before the blade is up to speed,

but now the blade is up to speed.

Look out.

There it goes.

Oh, man.

Already broken pieces on the floor.

Whoa!

That's it.

The drum is finished.

The drum is finished.

The drum is off.

El Diablo may be finished.

Bang the drum quickly.

That thing is gone.

Looks like another victory for Hazard.

Five, six, seven, eight.

How long was that?

Five, four, three, two, one.

That's it.

Wow.

All hail Hazard.

Check out this replay.

Here's the first deadly hit.

Then he takes out the tread, and then the drum KO at 45 seconds.

Let's go down to the robot wake.

You're a two-time winner.

Great design.

Why don't more robots copy your design,

and why aren't they as successful?

A lot of people do try to copy it,

but it's a real hard design to build an engineer.

They tend to break themselves, and most of them go out early,

and I've just had a few chances to build this strong,

and it's holding together this time,

so hopefully it'll hold together for the next match, too.

Great. Good luck.

Hazard is in championship form.

Next up for him, semifinals.

Coming up, Mechawar versus Overkill.

Two powerful heavyweights who pack a harder punch

than Tyson at a press conference.

If I had a robot, it would look like my dog.

A chicken.

I would have a big face of Keith Richards.

I think it would be purple.

Chickens are awesome, man.

For more information on BattleBots

and how you can enter a fighting robot

All these bots have one thing on their minds,

grabbing the giant nut,

but did you ever wonder where do nuts come from?

Well, I'm a man of action,

so I decided to find out.

Giant nuts are created by strong men,

strong machines, and tons of molten metal.

It's not glamorous work,

but these American craftsmen get the job done.

They're made one at a time by a three-man crew.

Giant nuts are the building blocks of America.

Without them, even the Statue of Liberty could not stand.

Our great buildings and our great cities

owe their very existence to giant nuts.

In fact, the Bay Bridge itself is held together

by approximately one zillion giant nuts.

That's why the giant nuts,

forged in the American heartland,

indestructible and essential to our way of life,

is the perfect symbol of BattleBots victory.

Well, now that we know where they come from,

let's see about getting some.

Heavyweights Overkill and Mechavor want to get some now.

Christian Kralberg, Overkill.

Santa Monica, California.

What those guys don't realize is that

this is a big game of rock, paper, scissors,

and Overkill's a rock.

Robert Lawrence, Mechavor.

Tempe, Arizona.

I think we're going to stand our ground,

wait, get a chance, maybe pull a wheel off.

Big disc meet big blade.

The box is locked, the lights are on.

It's robot fighting time.

Here we go.

The deadly Mechavor,

gyroscopically stabilized to prevent flipping.

He's a good one.

Overkill being very strategic.

Overkill taking a shot from Killslawz and Mechavor.

Strategic or nervous, Tim?

I don't know, but he's up under Mechavor.

And the pulverizer is hitting Mechavor.

Overkill trying to bring that blade to bear.

Christian's strategy is to use the wedge

as his first weapon and then swing the blade around.

Overkill on the run right now.

Mechavor chasing him about with that deadly blade.

It's funny, Christian is such a good driver