Break Even

You know if your plan

is to ultimately burn something down,

you should never show it too much love.

Yeah.

Never built a real fire before.

You'll get it.

How much have you had to drink?

Nowhere near enough, my friend.

To murky pasts.

Ah, should she be getting that close?

Well, guess we'll find out, huh?

Are you...

Shit.

Hey, are you okay?

Babe, are you okay?

Would you even give a shit if I died out there?

Hey, you're bleeding. Let me help you.

Leave me alone.

I'm gonna show it to my boyfriend, real up close.

One injury's enough, you guys.

She won't let me help her.

Let him help you.

I don't need it.

Yeah, you do.

It's pretty ironic coming from you, Jaq.

Good one, Dash.

Come on, baby, let's get you cleaned up.

Yeah, I guess I'll just grab the board.

500 grand?

Where's our discount, our fucking loyalty card

up in this bitch?

You want a loyalty card?

You fuck off and get medical ID card.

This meth's so good it turned me Chinese.

Do you hear the way your daughter's talking to me, Mr. Wu?

Oh, don't you play coy with me.

I know you're over there plotting

some Kung Fu master shit right now.

Best crystal in town.

No one better cook.

350.

And you can tell Mr. Wu to throw in

some of those Samurai Gray roll-ups you got over there.

This cat, not a fucking peep ever.

You know why?

He deaf as a door post.

You dumb motherfucker.

DEA freeze!

Nobody move.

Anybody who moves gets a lead breakfast.

You two fuck off.

Put your arms down. This isn't CrossFit class.

Do you know who I am?

Crowe.

Man of few words but profound meaning.

I like that sitting style that waitresses do at the Hooters.

It creates an air of informality.

The customers think that the waitress is their friend.

But it's all just an elaborate act.

She doesn't give a shit about them.

All she cares about is that nice, juicy tip

that's coming at the end of the night

and she knows full well the customers only care

about nice, juicy tits that are going to be

in their faces for the duration of their visit.

This is how exploitation works, you see.

In case you haven't gotten it yet,

I'm the waitress, you're the customers.

I want you to have a good night.

Indulge in whatever turns you on.

However, the only reason

I'm being in any way hospitable right now

is simply because I'm sure as shit

walking out the door with that tip

by the end of my shift.

I see we're doing this in broad daylight now.

What are you afraid of, Lemon,

the long arm of the law?

Will you do me a favor, when those guys are around,

don't call me Lemon.

As long as you're on my payroll,

I can call you whatever the fuck I want, Leaman.

Oh oh.

Don't get frustrated.

The mystery's the best part.

Savor it.

I need a hammer.

Don't cry.

You guys hear that?

Oh my god, signal. Yes!

Welcome to paradise.

Hey, guys, we have some gear that needs checking.

What could be more important than that?

Uh, the Dow Jones, the NASDAQ, the S&P 500?

How much real money can you be making right now, honestly?

Look, I have to know what the markets are doing

to know where the opportunities lie.

Numbers and pixels, just a made up version of the world.

What you found today is real.

Are you saying that there could be $10 million

hidden in this tiny little box?

Because if so, I will pry this thing open

with my bare hands right now.

I'm just saying we don't always know

what we're looking for until we finally find it.

Wow, you have like 20 missed calls

and a bunch of messages.

All right, say switch it off.

I don't give a shit.

Wait, you did move your shifts for this week right?

You know I hate my job but-

You hate every job.

'Cause I'm a minimum wage bitch.

You need a job. Everyone needs a job.

Oh yeah I do?

Well, he doesn't.

Look at him, at the beck and call of his computer

gambling just to feel alive.

It's a damn sight better

than scraping barnacles off boats.

Oh, is it, really?

Or is slowly selling your soul to the devil

easier for you to stomach?

Guys!

How about we go someplace

where there definitely is no signal?

I'd love that.

This better be worth it.

It's tradition.

Wow.

So you guys brought me to meet the Grim Reaper.

Santa Muerte, she's a deity.

The Catholic Church used to condemn anybody

who worshiped her so people came here in secret.

This whole island it's hers.

Every time we come, we pay our respects

and she watches over us.

The colors used here to burn

represent her different robes.

White for purity and blue for wisdom,

red for love.

And the black?

Smugglers protected their treasure

with the Black Lady.

And if you ever see

the Black Lady around here, you run.

You'll never crack that.

Challenge accepted.

Ooh.

Ooh, ah.

I'd do this for the rest of my life if I could.

Why don't we steal the sailboat?

I mean, how would they ever find it?

It's not as easy as it sounds, bro.

It's not easy but I know how you could get away with it.

The real question is are you ready to spend

the rest of your life as a pirate?

Maybe.

But people can change.

Can life change though?

Oh, there goes our peace and quiet.

Weekend warriors, you gotta love 'em.

No.

Ah.

It's a sample.

It's your treasure.

What is it?

I guess you really are a pirate now.

Uh, next time, though, you find a map.

One of us.

ROSIE, DASH, JAQ: One of us!

No one answered my question by the way.

Can life actually change though?

You're dunk.

- Seriously, answer it. - Come on.

Fine. No.

I think all we can hope to change is ourselves.

Life is completely out of our control.

You know...

Monkey.

Oh.

Monkey, monkey, monkey see, monkey do.

Look, I know that I'm probably not the kinda guy

you go for-

That's, don't-

But I would give it all up.

The money, the opportunities, the lifestyle

to be that guy.

I'm not somebody who can be loved.

I can become that person.

You just, you gotta let me try.

No, it's not about you being wrong for me.

It's about me being very, very wrong for anybody else.

So that's it?

The old it's not you, it's me thing.

Shit.

Try it. See what happens.

Heads up, Jaquer!

Heads up!

- Get her out! - Stop, no!