Desperate Housewives

Previously on Desperate Housewives

I love this job.

Tom's career took off.

And you gave me the confidence to jump at it.

I could kill you right now, or I could do this.

Felicia made peace with Paul...

And don't you worry about Paul.

Or so he thought.

I'll make him pay for what he did to you.

Look, I'm your landlord. I have a right to come in.

But it was Susan who gave him hope.

I remember a guy that used to live on this street.

He had a laugh you could hear three houses away.

I'm not that man anymore.

I think you can be.

Who do you want in your life...

me or Bree? Choose.

And Gaby made a decision.

- Can I stay with you for a while? - Of course.

Girls, come on. Go on in.

Bree Van De Kamp had occasionally found her home

invaded by household pests.

And her manner of dealing with them was ruthless.

She smashed them.

She poisoned them.

She executed them.

But when it came to the latest pests

who had invaded Bree's home...

extermination was not an option.

Girls! There's mud on your shoes!

Mud on your shoes!

Girls! We are guests here!

What have I said about wiping your feet?

Sorry.

No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no!

Just... uh, uh, never mind.

It hasn't rained in three weeks.

Where did they find mud?

Honey, they don't find mud. Mud finds them.

So, um, speaking of the fun we've been having,

how long do you think it'll be before you and Carlos make up

and you can all... go back home?

Eh, a few days.

He'll be sitting alone in that house,

realizing how big it is, how quiet it is...

How clean it is.

Then he'll show up here with that hangdog look on his face,

begging us to come back.

Mom! Celia hit me!

Then hit her back!

Gaby, don't tell her to do that.

I'd rather they settle it. Otherwise,

I have to go in there.

That's what a mother does. Come on.

Girls, if you stop fighting,

then I'll let you have some fresh baked... cookies?!

There were two dozen cookies on that plate.

Yeah, you can't leave food out.

They're like bears. You gotta tie it up in a tree.

Uh, Gaby, while you're here, this might be a good time

to teach them a little... discipline.

Discipline? What are you talking about?

It's not like the plate's broken.

Oh, boy.

Yes, Bree Van Ve Kamp had finally met two pests

she couldn't smash, poison, or shoot.

Okay, I'm gonna need a garbage bag.

Unless it was an antique. Then I need glue.

That's not to say she wasn't sorely tempted.

Good deeds aren't always done for the purest of reasons.

We may be trying to impress.

We may be acting out of guilt.

We may be expecting something in return.

But occasionally,

a good deed comes straight from the heart.

Wow. What's this?

Your lunch. I got ham, ham and cheese,

and that one's ham and gravel. I dropped it.

Susan, you don't have to keep doing this.

I want to. You're my new project, mister.

Your project?

Yes. Paul Young,

phase two... where we figure out what you are doing with your life,

set some new goals.

Now... you tried destroying the neighborhood.

That didn't work out. What's next?

I don't know what I wanna do.

I've made such a mess of everything so far.

No, no. Phase two is about the future, not the past.

So from now on, we are only looking forward.

Oh, my god! Look behind you!

Hello, Susan.

Oh. Hey, Felicia.

"Hey, Felicia"?!

You knew she was in your house?

I-I thought you were in prison.

Oh, I've been out for weeks. What nice sandwiches.

Are you cooking for Paul now?

Yeah, for Paul...

The guy that you cut off your fingers to frame.

It's all right, Susan.

Felicia and I have reached an understanding.

We can hardly keep squabbling,

now that we're going to be neighbors again.

Wait. You're living here?

Right across the street.

I just came by to pick up some of Beth's things.

Although I think you should keep that pretty oil painting

she made for you.

Hang on. You-you knew Beth?

You didn't tell her.

The topic doesn't exactly introduce itself.

Beth was Felicia's daughter.

What?

So you're Beth's...

And you knew...

And you're living...

I need to sit down.

We're gonna get a lot of this.

So Felicia Tillman was Beth's mother?

"Snip-snip" Tillman? You sure?

Yep.

And people say the suburbs are boring?

Great. Now we've got another nut job living on the street.

Actually...

Paul is not so bad.

Yeah, what were you doing over there?

Bringing him food. Uh, checking up on him.

Making sure he's okay.

Why?

'Cause I feel bad for him.

The poor guy has had two wives kill themselves.

And here I was concentrating all my pity on the dead people.

Susan, be careful.

Yeah, we understand Beth gave you a kidney,

but you don't owe Paul anything.

I know I don't.

But that kidney gave me a second chance in life,

and I'm sorry,

I feel that Paul deserves the same thing.

To us, our decorating firm,

and our latest triumph,

the Delaney bathroom.

Today, Subway Tile and a low-flow toilet.

Tomorrow, not walking in on Mr. Delaney

on the low-flow toilet.

You bought this at a drugstore, didn't you?

Come on. "Dan Perrignon." It's cute.

A little tip... when picking champagne,

wordplay usually isn't a selling point.

Hey. You're home early.

No, just forgot some files.

Head straight back to the office.

Ooh! Dan Perrignon! What are you guys celebrating?

Renee and I finished a design job today.

Yeah. We actually cleared $293.

Well, $290 after this champagne.

Hey, we're a small company.

Why is the glass always half empty with you?

Hey, I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

I just got my budget.

There's some money in there to redecorate my office.

How about you guys do it?

Uh, well, we're a little busy.

It's 20 grand.

Busy thanking you.

You'd let us do that? You're amazing!

That would be huge for our company.

Look, I know this new job's put a bit of a strain on us.

This might be a good way to sneak in

a little extra time together.

So you think you can do something for 20 grand?

This may be the dog shampoo talking,

but for 20 grand,

we will decorate your office...

and whack an employee of your choosing.

Hey, roomie!

Hello... roomie.

Those are beautiful.

They're for you from the girls.

They felt terrible about breaking your mirror.

Oh. You mean my serving dish.

Oh, you haven't been upstairs yet.

Gaby!

But look how beautiful.

I'm going to church.

Weren't you just there?

I need to do some more praying. Apparently, it's not working.

If you're looking for the owner, that's me.

Are you aware that you're blocking my driveway?

Yeah. Are you aware

that you illegally entered my vehicle?

Well, I needed to get your attention.

Doesn't make it legal.

Oh, don't try to make this my fault.

Blocking my driveway is illegal.

Yes, but breaking into my car is criminal.

Really? Let's call 9-1-1.

I'd love to get a policeman's opinion on that.

You just did.