Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man

All hail beloved alma mater

Steadfast and loyal we will be

This is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. How did I ever graduate?

I slipped the guy 20 bucks. Now, keep quiet.

...detective training

And now we graduate from Dugan's

Experts in criminology

And since they say that crime won't pay

We will fight crime with good old

D.D.T.

Men, I have taught you all I know.

You've studied hard and learned well, most of you.

You have earned the Dugan Detective Training diploma.

And the D.D.T. diploma on an office wall...

means a steady stream of clients.

Bud Alexander.

In accordance with my agreement with the students who graduate...

you'll receive a trial with a recognized detective agency.

Report to the MacQuillan Agency in the Fort building.

Give him this card. Thank you.

Louis Francis.

Thank you. Thank you!

You've been seeing too many Sherlock Holmes pictures lately.

Take off that cap.!

A detective has to dress so he won't attract much attention.

Put that down, that is not a lollipop.!

Turn on the police calls.

Hurry up, it might tip us off to something.

I'm glad MacQuillan gave us the night shift.

Maybe we can grab a case and solve it ourselves.

We get a tip on a bank robbery, better yet, a murder...

and we follow the murderer to his hideout. Yeah.

We go to his hideout and we start searching the place.

Remember, death lurks in every corner.

And suddenly, the murderer comes in.

Fellas interested in a case? A case?

A case of what? Shh, quiet! You want us to handle a case!

Which one of you is MacQuillan? I am. I am.

Who's who? He's Mac, I'm Quillan.

Just call us Bud and Lou. Attention.

Be on the lookout for Tommy Nelson, escaped murderer.

He is 5'11", weighs 165, blue eyes, brown hair.

When last seen, was wearing dark felt hat, overcoat...

Nelson? Isn't that the middleweight...

who killed his manager after his last fight? That's what they said.

If we weren't taking your case, I'd grab that murderer.

I don't think you have to look very far. Keep quiet!

5'10", weight 165, blue eyes, sandy hair.

Put down... turned-up collar and soft hat.

Quiet, the man wants a telephone.

If that ain't Tommy Nelson, it's Frankenstein.

Frankenstein!

Hello, Helen, is anyone around?

Good.

I must see the doctor at once. I'll be right over.

There's money in this for you. How much?

Plenty. Take me to 823 Maple St...

and I'll tell you all about it. Let's go.

That's him. Who?

Tommy Nelson. I'd love to get my hands on him.

Come on, let's go.

I can't see a thing. Turn it around!

Bud, I-I-look! What?

It's only a moth. Come on!

Tommy, I've been so worried.

I want to see the doctor right away.

Fellas, wait the in library. I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

She called him Tommy. That's Tommy Nelson, the escaped killer.

Stop jumping at conclusions.

What would an escaped killer want private detectives for?

So he can catch himself? So... Oh, come on!

Tommy, is this wise?

The police know about you and Helen.

This is the first place they'll look.

Those men you brought with you... It was my only way of getting here.

Can you trust them? If you'd brought the serum, I wouldn't need to trust anybody.

What did happen?

Did you make up your minds that I killed O'Hara? That's not fair.

Uncle Phil's been working on the formula. You told me you had it developed.

I do, my boy. You can see for yourself...

Pripitane serum was discovered years ago and it works.

One injection, and the cell structure becomes transparent.

What are you waiting for?

Jab me with one of those and the police will never catch me.

I'll be free to find out who really killed O'Hara.

And inside of a week, you'd be a raving maniac...

just like its discoverer, John Griffin. No.

I've got to take that chance.

Do you want to go insane, as John Griffin did?

Shot down like a mad dog as he was?

He never regained his visibility until he was dead.

When he willed me this formula...

I swore I'd never use it until I'd found some safe reagent...

some means of bringing a man back...

avoiding insanity, perhaps restoring visibility.

Doc, unless I clear myself, it means "the chair. "

So what difference does it make?

Come on, that's a boy! You can make it.

Did you see that? What happened?

The halfback just ran around his own end. Some trick.

We interrupt our program to give you a police bulletin.

Have you seen this man? He's Tommy Nelson, escaped murderer.

There's a $5,000 reward. If you have any information, phone...

What number? Rlver-8-1-8-1.

Thank you. You're right, this guy is the killer.

Let's get outta here. No, we've got a great case.

We'll grab the murderer and get the reward. We can't do that.

This guy hired you and I... Nevertheless, he's a rat.

Because he killed his manager? Because he didn't tell us there was a reward for him.

I'm sorry, Tommy, I can't do it.

It's the police. Let's sneak out the back way.

Good, let's go. Wait.

We're detectives. What am I running for?

Am I a crook? You want me to answer that?

It's the police. Stall them off and I'll try to get out the back way.

All right, men, take your positions.

It's a legal search warrant. But it's ridiculous.

I've been ridiculous before, beautiful.

Roy, you and I'll take the upstairs.

Joe, you cover the back. Eddie, you stay right here.

We've got to catch Nelson before the cops do...

and collect that reward.

I'll watch in the hall and you watch here. You ain't gonna do that to me.

You watch here and I'll watch in the hall. Okay.

That's the same thing! Shh.

We've got him. He can't get away.

Look. N-N-Now...

Bud.! Bud.!

Don't worry, he can't get out.

Neither can I! Bud!

Mr. Nelson, I don't want the reward.

I'm for you. Let's shake hands on it.

Atta boy.

Ha, ha, ha!

Ha, ha, ha!

Don't forget, we get the reward.

My pal's got him covered. That boy is always on his toes.

Well, where is he?

Always on his toes, huh? Lou, snap out of it.

Come on, boy. I'll give him a whiff of this.

Oh, Bud, I want to tell you something.

Here's Bud. Hi-ya, Bud.

Where did Tommy Nelson go? He disappeared.

How did he get out? In installments.

Installments? Yeah, he did a Gypsy Rose Lee.

That... That's all that's left of him.

Evidently Nelson changed clothes.

What was he wearing the last time you saw him?

Air. Nothin' but air.

And then he asked me how he looked.

Wearing air? What are you talkin'about?

He was standing right here and then I shook hands with him.

His hand was gone.

I went to speak to him, his head was gone.

He took off his shirt, his body was gone.

He took off his pants, his legs were gone.

Then he spoke to me, I was gone.

This guy's a psycho if I've ever seen one.

Would you mind coming to the police station...

and telling a real nice man just what you told us?

Don't you believe what I saw? Sure I do.

Things like this happen every day. They do?

Where have I been? I don't know where you've been...

but I know where you're going.

So you let him get away! Now we can't collect the reward.

Double-crosser.!

You kicked me!

And what's the idea of calling me a double-crosser?

That wasn't me, that was him. Don't lie! Ow!

Break it up.

Don't keep the nice man waiting. Come on.

I know, you saw this man disappear into space.

That's right.

Do you always see things? Only when my eyes are open.

Have you ever seen anyone disappear before? Yes. My brother.

Ah-ha, this may have been the start of seeing things.

Tell me about it.

My brother and I were walking down the street.

All of a sudden, he disappeared. Into thin air?

No, into a manhole.

Oh!

How about voices? Do you ever hear strange voices? Yes, sir.

When does this happen? When I get the wrong number on the phone.

Oh!

Got a headache? Suppose you go over there and lie down.

Why? Don't you believe me sittin' here?

Would you get over there, please? All right.

Here, lie down.

Perhaps we can find out something from your subconscious.

Tell me, what's wrong with me? Well, you see...

Would you get down there?

Often the conscious mind will lie...

but from the subconscious we get the truth.

You know where the subconscious comes from? The subway?

Look into my eyes. You're going to sleep.

You're going to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. One, two, three, four...

What are you doing? I'm countin' cows.

Cows? I'm allergic to sheep.

Sleep. Sleep.