The Syndicate (UK) - First Season

The police were here on Friday night...

has it got anything to do with that?

What's going on?

Don't ask me, love. We just go where we're told.

We're like mushrooms... kept in the dark and fed shit.

Nice colourful packages, Jamie, right up to the top, please,

so they can see the champagne bottles.

Lose the toilet rolls.

Bloody hell,

you scrub up well.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Got this from Designer Outlet yesterday.

Does your stomach keep doing somersaults? Mine does.

Nah, footballers and celebs do this all the time.

How long have I got to hold these lot for?

Till the press conference has finished.

But I get hay fever, and the pollen's making me eyes water!

I don't think she likes me.

Now, remember... As soon as I make the announcement,

the cameras will go off, so big smiles, and try to look happy.

I don't know if we're doing the right thing.

Course we are.

I feel really ugly. What?!

Don't be silly.

Hey, come on! You're a beaut.

You're not crying, are you?

No, it's just the pollen.

I just wish we were all here, that's all.

He needs a proper breakfast, he's a growing boy!

He likes cornflakes!

Just say I'm a crap mother, Joyce, stop pussyfooting around!

I never said you were a crap mother.

What I give my son for his breakfast has got nothing to do with you!

It has, cos he's me grandson!

Why don't you just keep yer nose out of our bloody business, Joyce?

Don't you talk to me like that, madam!

She's lying!

While you're living in my house... I don't want to live in your bloody house!

You should've thought about that before you

flashed your credit cards around... What an idiot! Turn it down!

I can't hear it!

My son had never been in debt till he met you.

Right, so it's all my fault we're in the shit, is it?

No, it's his, an'all, cos he can't say no to you!

"Lewis Vuton" handbags, it's bloody ridiculous...

I knew it! Lying bitch. ..he works in a supermarket!

It's "Louis Vuitton" and it's a fake!

It cost £39.99,

and it was me birthday present!

I don't know how your mother brought you up, but... Oh, you're so good at it, are you?!

In case you hadn't noticed, your Jamie's a druggie!

Hey! Not any more. Don't bring me into it!

We never had dealers bootin' the door down for money at OUR house!

Cos you're all so bloody perfect!

'All this over a bowl of soddin' cornflakes!'

'If you tried cooking once in a while...'

'I don't like bloody cooking!' 'Tough, you've got kids,

'you've got no choice. You don't even know how to turn the bloody oven on!'

Get up, you lazy tosser, we'll be late for work!

Your Amy and mam are at it again.

No shit, what's it about this time?

Go on, sling yer bloody hook! I'm goin',

don't you worry! What the hell's going on?

Yer mother's stickin' her neb into our business again, tellin' me what to do.

I just said we should try Jack with some porridge she went mental!

Why do you do it? He's my grandson... I've got every right to say what I think.

She's pregnant, Mam! More's the pity!

She can't look after ONE, let alone two.

Poor little bugger hasn't even got a vest on!

Turn that bloody thing off!

Don't take it out on ME.

I wouldn't ask, but I'm not feeling too good today.

No, I've been up all night.

I thought if you could take me, I could get a cab back, or walk.

No, no, there's nothing wrong with the car, Peter!

It's just, lately, I've been getting a bit light-headed when I've...

Yes, yes, I know the traffic's heavy this time of the morning...

Bob!

Look, forget it. I wish I'd never called. Yeah, all right.

Bye... bye.

It's all right if THEY want summat, I've got to drop everything.

I've never asked either of them for one mortal bloody thing. I'll get dressed and take you.

No, you've been up all night, too.

No, I'll be fine.

I've taken me anti-sickness tablet

and I'll take a carrier bag just in case.

See you tonight, love.

You go back to bed. I hope your meeting goes all right.

I've got no idea what it's about.

I'll call you when they've gone, all right?

I'm not having your mother tell me how to bring up my own son!

She thinks cos she's a dinner lady, she knows everything!

AND she blames me for the mess we're in.

Are we right? No. I'll see you there.

Those idiots from head office are coming up. I'll see you there! Do you need me to hold your hand?!

I shouldn't have let you talk me into that holiday...

THAT set us back two grand!

A week in Ibiza, big deal.

Tina's boyfriend took her to Lanzarote for a fortnight

AND he bought her an engagement ring.

Amy...

Mia's daddy took her on an aeroplane to Disneyland.

Did he, now?

Well, I bet Mia hasn't been to Center Parcs, like we did last year.

Can we go to Disneyland?

Costs a lot of money, sweetheart,

and I thought we were saving up to buy you a DS?

Why haven't I got a daddy?

Well...

you've got ME.

Right, I'll see you tonight.

Don't forget, Mia's mummy's picking you up from after school club,

so be a good girl, OK?

Go on, then.

Oh, eh...

Right, Billy, that's three poops you've had already

and I've only got one bag left and that's for Tilly.

We're back!

I ran out of bags. I think that new food's made Billy a bit loose.

What the bloody hell's that?

Oh, I don't know!

She must've followed me.

Well, get it out of this house! We've got enough dogs.

Come on,

got to go, you can't stay here.

I don't know how come my phone bill shot up to £118.

Last one were only £37.

Who's 077009...

Give us that here.

You're opening me letters, again.

Oh, I'm sorry, love, me eyes are getting worse.

I thought it said Mrs D Simpson.

Well, you better get t'opticians, then.

That'll be another £200.

Right... carers will be in around 11,

but if you could take her a cup of tea up about 10?

Ooh!

Bye-bye, my beautiful baby! Oh!

Daddy'll take you out for a nice walkie this afternoon.

Bye, love.

Ta-rah, Mam!

So what's going to happen?

I can't stay at your mam and dad's, there's not enough room.

Not my problem. Enough room for me and our Jack

and that's all I'm bothered about. What you sayin'?

We can't split up, we're a family now and when you have the baby...

Why don't you find us somewhere to live, then, if we're a family?

A flat or summat? You know why, we can't afford it.

Well, get a better job then! There aren't any better jobs.

Besides, I'll be manager when Bob retires and then I'll get...

We need money now! Now, yeah?

Tina's boyfriend works on a building site and he gets loads of money.

Don't you love me any more?

If you want us all to be together, Stuart,

you'll have to get a pay rise or find summat else,

cos I am NEVER going back to your mam's house.

Never!

I asked you a question.

If you love me, you'll find somewhere for us to live.

I DO love you.

You can't come with me.

I thought you weren't coming. Mam wanted an egg instead of her porridge,

and the vet changed Billy's food and his bowels are playing up

so everything took longer than usual.

Oh, my giddy aunt, I've got a right sweat on. Who's your friend?

She's a stray,

followed me home from the park this morning. Go on,

I've got nothing for ya!

We've got Head Office

coming up this morning.

Oh, bugger, I forgot, you haven't got any deodorant on you, have yer?

Now, then, you two lovely ladies, can I offer you a lift?

Aww, thanks, Bob.

Aren't we lucky, having a boss like you?

Right, I've got a two-bed here on Richmond Road,

£500 a month. It's a first-floor conversion, just been decorated throughout

and had new windows and a boiler. Looks great.

Would you like to see it?

Yeah... I'll just give me girlfriend a ring.

So... if she likes it, how long before we could move in? Next week.

Just a case of doing the paperwork and checking your credit rating.

It shouldn't be a problem.

Ah, right...

Well, it might be, because...

we've had a few problems with money and cards and that, and we're still sorting it, so...

Well, I appreciate you being honest with me,

but I don't think there's anything we can do.

I've got to get somewhere for us to live, Josh,

somewhere my little boy can be with his mam and dad.

My girlfriend won't stay at my mam's any more cos she's pregnant and...

I'm desperate, mate,

I'm really desperate, I don't know what else to do. I don't want to break t'family up...

Sorry...

I shouldn't have asked you... Forget it.

I'll try and have a word with the landlord, if you like.

Maybe he'd agree on a short let, and if you could put down a couple of months' money as a bond,

then that might help sway it.

I don't suppose we'll be going anywhere this year, now.

Afternoon, part-timer! Where's Bob?

Office.