Two Thousand Maniacs!

? There's a story you should know from 100 years ago

? And 100 years we've waited now to tell

? Now the Yankees come along and they'll listen to this song

? And they'll quake in fear to hear this rebel yell

? And they'll quake in fear to hear this rebel yell

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Robert E. Lee broke his musket on his knee

? And 1,000 pieces shattered on the ground

? But he looked up then and he gathered up his men

? And from his lips there came an awful sound

? And from his lips there came an awful sound

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Stonewall took a gun and he made the Yankees run

? But he took a fatal bullet in the chest

? As he fell down dead old Stonewall said, I'm a-givin' you a dying man's request

? I'm a-givin' you a dying man's request

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Jeb Stuart spurred his horse and the Yankees run of course

? But there wasn't any powder for his gun

? So he said to his boys Let's make a lot of noise

? And we'll charge again and make them Yankees run

? And we'll charge again and make them Yankees run

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Robert E. Lee broke his musket on his knee

? And 1,000 pieces shattered on the ground

? But he looked up then and he gathered up his men

? And from his lips there came an awful sound

? And from his lips there came an awful sound

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? There's a story you should know from 100 years ago

? And 100 years we've waited now to tell

? And they'll quake in fear to hear this rebel yell

? Yeehaw!

? Oh, the South's gonna rise again

? Yeehaw!

Now, what do you think this means?

Well, it means detour, lady.

And this looks like a lousy road.

Well, I don't know.

I don't like the looks of this.

It doesn't say how far the detour goes.

Well, want me to drive?

I'm more than just a hitchhiker, you know.

I just happen to be a schoolteacher who happened to have a little car trouble.

And it's lucky for me.

Yeah.

Well, don't make me feel sorry I picked you up back there.

From the looks of this, you just might be glad before the trip's over.

Bring 'em on down here.

Bring 'em way on down.

Get 'em right here in the middle of Pleasant Valley.

Come on, bring 'em on down.

Come on!

Come on!

Right here. Come on. Come on.

Yeehaw!

Y'all get back a little bit.

Y'all get back just a little bit.

- That kid! - Get out of here, you little creep.

You all clear out of here, Billy, hear.

I'm Earl Buckman, mayor of this here town.

The great little town of Pleasant Valley.

- Y'all travelin'? - Why, yes, Mr. Buckman.

We're on our way to Florida.

Y'all on vacation?

Wait a minute. Just what's going on here anyway?

Are we under arrest or something?

I mean, what the hell's going on here?

Where are we anyway?

You just keep your pants on, boy.

You're not under arrest.

You're right smack dab in the middle of Pleasant Valley.

Isn't he, folks?

I'll tell you this much, though. We've been waiting on you.

Ain't that right, folks?

What do you mean, you've been waiting for us?

Why, you pretty little Yankee gal.

I didn't say "waiting for you," I said "waiting on you."

What?

Well, I better get to the point.

We 'uns here in Pleasant Valley are celebrating a little old centennial.

Yes, sir, we are.

And you folks are the guests of honor. Now, how about that?

Yeah.

I am not sure I understand, Mr. Buckman.

Well, then, you better listen carefully this time.

We're celebrating something that happened over 100 years ago.

It's a big deal around here.

And part of the ceremony is we get us some strangers from up north.

You get everything free.

It's an honor, damn it.

Now, you come on out of there for a second.

Yeehaw!

Welcome to the Pleasant Valley.

By dinghy.

We got ourselves some more visitors for the centennial.

That makes six. Yeah!

Billy, you go tell Lester and Rufe

we got ourselves the guests of honor for the centennial

and we don't need us no more. Go.

- Hip-hip! - Hooray!

- Hip-hip! - Hooray!

- Hip-hip! - Hooray!

Well, what's the matter?

Well, ain't nothing the matter, miss.

Everything's fine. Just fine.

More Yankees for the centennial, huh, Mayor?

That's right, mister.

Well, now, miss, you and your mister here...

He's not my mister.

He's a perfect stranger named Tom White.

Oh, well, now, Miss...

Adams. Terry Adams.

Well, Miss Adams, if you know his name, he's not a perfect stranger now, is he?

My name is John Miller, Miss Adams

and if you'd like, I'll be glad to take on this, this hitchhiker for you.

And I'm Bea Miller, Tom. I'm married to that animal.

Don't worry, you can always hitch a ride with me.

Our guest's a rotten egg, though, ain't he folks?

Say, uh, would I sound stupid and ungracious if I asked what this is all about?

I'm David Wells and this is my wife Beverly.

I am not quite sure, Mr. White,

but it looks like we're guests of honor at this centennial.

Us?

Well, why are we guests of honor?

Can't think of a prettier guest of honor than you,

you big, handsome Yankee, you.

You're blushing.

Why not relax and enjoy it?

Okay.

I will if you will.

Ahem. Will our guests of honor come right over here?

Now, some of our guests ain't sure yet what this shindig's all about.

So we better get started with our centennial. Right, folks?

Yeah!

Yes, siree!

Now, it's been 100 years.

But what we're celebrating ain't important.

What we need are guests of honor and you all are it.

Now, for the next two days, y'all are gonna be guests of the town.

You're gonna have the best hotel rooms,

the best food,

the best entertainment and it's all on the house.

Yes, sir, you're all are our guests.

And we're gonna show you some Southern hospitality.

I reckon this here's one celebration y'all are gonna remember as long as you live.

Yeah! Won't it, folks?

Yeah, here's two fellas I want you all to know.

This here is Rufus Tate.

And this here is Lester MacDonald.

Rufus here is head-man of this celebration.

He's general chairman.

And Lester here, he's program chairman.

I reckon everybody know these fellas pretty good, ain't they folks?

We got us some good 'uns.

Dogged if we don't.

Now, we got us a big barbecue to start things off tonight.

Hey, Earl, what do you say we get our guests down in the hotel,

so they can get in good shape for that barbecue.

That's a good idea, Lester. Let's get 'em checked in.

- Say, Mr. Buckman. - Yeah, what is it, son?

Well, we'd like to stay for your celebration,

but Miss Adams and I have to be getting on.

He's not only a hitchhiker, he's a party pooper.

Y'all want to leave? You can't!

Of course not.

Only two days. You'll have the time of your life.

Thought y'all didn't know each other.

But they ain't gonna leave, are they?

Of course not. I'll tell you what.

You got someplace else to be, is that it?

Well, uh, I'm due in a teachers' convention in Atlanta.

Tell you what.

We went through a lot of trouble to get you all here.

- We don't give up so easy. - You can say that again, Earl.

Yeah, as soon as you get to the hotel,

y'all send 'em a wire, tell 'em y'all be there in a couple of days.

We'll even pay for the wire, won't we, folks?

Hey, Rufe, you think we ought to go out and get us a couple of special guests of honor?

Lester, we got us six. Just the right number.

Y'all know the rules of the celebration.

Got us six Yankees and, boy,

we're gonna have a centennial celebration to make old Robert E. Lee hisself proud.

Yeah, but we could slip back and get us some more

and kind of have our own private centennial.