What's the Worst That Could Happen?

I start the bidding at six hundred. Six fifty?

I have one thousand dollars in the back. Thank you.

If you're here for the sports memorabilia auction it's next Wednesday.

Oh, well, thank you, but I'm just here...

to look at all the colorful pictures.

Well, good for you.

How about this one? Isn't it exquisite?

Oh, yes, very exquisite.

Yes, it is... for a fake.

A fake?

Yeah. See, it says here, Lot 702...

Young Girl by Window...

is seventeenth century Phoenician school.

- But it's not. - It's not?

See, the shading on the burnt umber is all wrong.

I'd date this back at the time...

they was usin' the White House as a get down spot.

You know, when everybody was up in there like that.

When certain staff members were backin' it up.

Sir, with all due respect...

I think you'll find that the staff here at W. Boyle...

It's a fake, OK?

- I have an eye. - An eye?

Yes. Just like them glasses you got on.

I know when got up today, you put 'em on.

You got in the mirror, you thought you were stylin'.

You came to work, you know, get a couple of more sales.

I know you thought they was, what, $500 Boucherons?

Nah, they knock-offs, darlin'. Yeah, those are knock-offs.

They're fake... like this piece of shit here.

702, Young Girl by the Window.

Sold to paddle number fourteen.

Next up, Lot 702, Young Girl by Window...

has been pulled from the auction.

So we'll move on to Lot 703...

The Hudson River Valley lake scene.

A fine example of nineteenth century American art.

You may find it of interest...

that the artist responsible for this beautiful painting...

was a Boston native who apprenticed right here...

on our very own Commonwealth Avenue.

My colleagues and I here at W. Boyle...

Excuse me.

Here, let me switch with you.

Let me just try to slide by you.

Pardon me.

Please, will you watch it?

All right, that's...

Um, let me try this.

- OK, OK. Slide over. Go. - This is outrageous.

Like that, see? Got it.

Excuse me. All right.

Deal a meal.

You OK?

Would you mind just leaving me alone?

Now, if I leave you alone...

you sitting here on the verge of tears...

how you think that's gonna make me feel?

You wouldn't understand.

That painting is yours.

You don't want to sell it, but you have to.

Three fifty.

Give or take a pound.

Five hundred. Five hundred. Do I have five fifty?

Five fifty I have. Five fifty. Do I have six hundred?

My father left me the painting...

and I love it, but I need the money to pay a hotel bill.

One thousand five hundred.

One thousand five hundred. Thank you.

- Two thousand. - I have two thousand dollars.

Two thousand five hundred dollars.

I have 2,500. Do I have 3,000?

Two thousand five hundred going once...

twice... sold.

Paddle number fourteen.

Well, that's that.

What's your name?

Amber Belhaven.

Oh, very pretty name.

Kevin. Kevin Caffrey.

Look...

I couldn't buy that painting...

but I can buy you a cup of coffee.

So after I graduated university...

I moved here from London to take this great job...

- What? - Yeah, I know, I know.

You can figure out the rest.

They went under, so here I am.

So what are you gonna do now?

Get a job.

I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities for a girl with a degree in anthropology.

OK. Now, anthropology...

that's, like, the study of man's...

See, I'm glad I read that in the dictionary...

or I wouldn't know.

So what do you do, Kevin?

I'm a... I'm a businessman.

Yeah. Matter of fact, I was late for an appointment.

I hope this is not too personal, but in your hotel room...

do they have one of those little refrigerators?

And in that refrigerator, do they have those little bottles?

Yeah, I guess.

Well, when my appointment ends...

would you like me to come by and check?

See if in fact they do?

Now, you wouldn't try to sleep with me, would you?

- Why are you blinking? - Just a little nervous tic.

I tell a lie, I blink.

Oh, that must keep you very honest.

I'd make a terrible lawyer.

So, can you force yourself to blink...

blink when you're telling the truth?

So when you're not blinking it means you're definitely telling the truth...

but when you are blinking, it means you're either lying...

or it means that you're forcing yourself to blink...

to make it look like you're lying.

That's right.

That sounds very complicated.

It's not, really.

So what's up?

Can I see you later?

Sure.

Wait. But you're blinking, too.

You got the same thing that I got...

and I don't know what you...

She's got it goin' on.

I will find you.

Who is it?

This is for you.

How much did he want for that painting?

'Cause I'll pay you back as soon as I get a job.

Well, it, uh... it didn't cost me anything.

What, you stole it?

That's what I do.

But I thought you were a businessman.

I am.

I'm in the business of stealing.

Yeah, that's why I go to auctions...

to learn what's worth stealing.

Connoisseur of all things portable.

Wow.

I apologize if it's a shock.

Well, I dated a lawyer for three years...

so ethically speaking, I've seen a stretch mark or two.

Normally, I don't tell a woman that on the first date.

Then again, I don't normally have these feelings.

Me, neither.

You see this ring?

My father gave this to me...

to remind me every day how much he loved me.

My father believed in fate, and so do I.

Used to be his lucky ring.

Now it's yours.

Well, how lucky was he?

Well, he was wearing it...

when he won that painting in a card game.

Now I want something from you.

Name it.

I want you to promise me that you'll never lie to me.

I've been in that kind of relationship and I'll never do it again.

So no lies, OK?

No lies.

Said without a blink.

Oh, my God, it's like needles in my eye.

I am too rich to have a headache like this, Walter.

- You gotta get me out of this! - G-get you out of this?

OK. I'll just undo every single shady deal...

you've been a part of for the last five years.

Sounds good to me!

There are no loopholes this time.

Bankruptcy is the only option.

Great! Screw it. Screw everybody.

Just file the goddamn papers.

What's the worst that could happen?

Bankruptcy, Max.

That's the worst that could happen.

Poodle cakes, it's only the real estate company.

This is no big deal. Tell her, Walter.

This is a...

It's a tech-technical procedure.

Yeah, that's right... a simple little technical procedure.

It's humiliating, and it'll be in all of the newspapers.

Well...

Maybe my father was right about my marrying you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There is no need...

to bring your daddy into this, sugar lumps.

Walter and I, we have this all worked out.

Our strategy is planned. Right, Walter?

Fix it, Max, or else.

There is nothing to worry about, snuggle bunny.

These things have a tendency to work themselves out in the end.

They always do. Come on. Come on, give me little kisses.

Come on, let me see 'em. Let me see the lippies.

That's it. Wanna go to lunch?

Let's go. Come on.

Let's go. We'll eat. We'll drink.

We'll forget all this crap.

Respect.

R-e-s-p... you know the rest.

That's what's missing. Nobody respect anything now.