The Jade and the Pearl (翡翠明珠)

People say that all women want to be princesses

Have they seen a real princess before?

I am a princess

My father is of course, the Emperor

Even though we live under the same roof

But the roof of the palace is a huge one

We can only see each other twice a year

The first occasion is National Day

And the second is the Emperor's birthday

Which is today

Mistress Feng's Princess Ping

My little Ping

I wish Father a long life with countless blessings

Good

Thank you Father

Mistress Lan's Princess Xiu

Little Xiu

I wish Father an ageless life with many happy returns

Mistress Yu's Princess Yuan

I wish Father...

Good

I wish Father good health with vigorous spirit

Good

Thank you Father

Mistress Feng's Princess Gui

Wishing Father a happy birthday

Mistress Zhen's Princess Xiang

Good, good

I wish Father gains a son in old age

Mistress Ann's Princess Hua

Mistress Twin's Princess Faye

I'm Princess Gou

Ouch!

Happy Birthday Father

How about this one who dive in?

Princess Yan

Little Yan

That trick is called "Flat out like a Lizard"

I devised it specially for your birthday

Flat out like a Lizard

How creative of you

I'm very pleased

This is the only one left

It's beautiful

Thank you Father

As a princess

Her daily routine is to eat, play and sleep

When she reach the age of marriage

She has to receive Sir Yang's special training

This year, 11 sisters are in class with me

Sex is necessary for humankind

And is the best way to retain a good relationship

Today I am going to teach you the 3rd skill in bed

"Playing Hard to Get"

Pay attention and follow what we do

Your body must be light

Your waist must be flexible

Pretending to be sick

And show signs of weakness

sigh in a sexy way

Spin back

And sigh in a sexy way

Ah

Ah

If you are to marry, this class is compulsory

When in Rome, do as Romans do

If you meet a westerner, say I love you

His jaw will drop and so will his pants

If you're in Japan, you'll feel right at home

Because they all write in Chinese

Wear your kimono

Take a bow and says Good Morning

If you end up in barbarous Europe

They won't know a word of Chinese

Greet him with Bon apptit before eating

Ans the French will get in a fit

Bring it back now

I hereby grant you, Cheng Qian, son of General Cheng Feng

The title General of Loyalty

Thank you Emperor

My father sacrifice his life for the country

I shall follow his path

And devote myself for the nation and the Emperor

When will I have the honor to fight for you, Emperor?

It's peace time now

Why don't you retreat to the gills and do some farm work?

When we need you

You will be the first on the call list

Please raise General

Your mother has been widowed for 20 years

To reward her for her fidelity

I have decided to grant her a gift as compliment

Wow this really does suit her

Son

I still don't get it

Why on earth the Emperor grants me this?

Compensate for your shortcomings

Shouldn't it describe your father

Who helped the Emperor protect His land?

I think He wanted to praise you for protecting a piece of land

Which is way smaller than the one father had protected

Peace is beneficial to everyone

But to a keen young man, it's a waste of his talents

Even though I've been made a general

But I will fight against crime whenever I can

Out of my way or I will put you in jail

I can accuse you a few more offences

Li, as a police sergeant

You've been taking advantage of your powers

Just last month

You robbed 30 pieces of land and took 12 girls by force

Covered up for those filthy businessmen and released the prisoners

You even peed on the street 47 times

For the sake of people, I must arrest you today!

The General's plaque from the Emperor?

So the General wants to do the God's duty huh?

Come General

Strike me with that great sword of yours

Where's your guts?

Just scrape me a little

Ouch! I got it!

The pain enlightened me

Thank you General for the lesson

I shall reflect on my wrong doings in the past

I must do that

Did you all realize the bad deeds you've done?

Yeah all of a sudden we did

Then off you go get a room at the hotel

And find a woman to reflect opon

Yes

Maintaining social order isn't something you can do overnight

Let's call it a day

And go to the Peach Blossom Festival for a drink and relax

Awesome! I've been waiting for this

That's why we are here today

Let's go drinking

Let's go

A light body

And a flexible waist

A twist to the side and fall into his arms

Be careful!

Ouch!

Why all this practice?

When we're only practising among girls?

It's not like we're going to practise with Sir Yang and Sir Zhang

They're not even proper men

What should we do?

It's no use just sitting here

I need a man

Who else here doesn't need a man?

A pricness shouldn't be so loose

Even if you were, lower your voice

Ah I need a man

You are all desperate for men?

Yes!

I know a place where we can see many of them

Where?

The lanterns are so pretty

- Hey have you been to that hotel? - It's alright

Awesome!

Cute guys

Hey... hold it

We need to pretend not to look at them

And enjoy of being checked out by guys

Let them stew in disappointment of being ignored

You're right

Hey stop looking

At your position of north-northwest

They're pretty yet already being occupied

I'm a man

We're men and we're doing fine

Those two guys are like kids

Just like you

Here comes the highlight...

of the Peach Blossom Festival

Also the host's favorite game

Speed-Fate-ing

If you're feeling lonely

And within that loneliness you're all alone

Then this game is for you

In a moment

Each pair of singles will get to know each other

In the time this hourglass takes to empty out

When I hit the gong

All the gentlemen should move one seat to the left

And get to know the next lady

And so on

Remember in Speed-Fate-ing we believe in Fate

And Speed

Damn I shouldn't have dressed up as a man

Loser

Let's get started

Move seats

You look familiar

You can recognise me through this veil?

Mother! You...

Yes it's me...

Alright

Look if you're a filial son

Give your mother a chance