The Simpsons

Mmm. Jam.

Okay, okay.

The only explanation is I'm still asleep,

dreaming that the house is flooded.

What does it mean? What does it mean?

It probably means you're under a lot of stress

because this is not a dream and the house is flooded.

- D'oh! - Cowabunga!

Oh, my God. This is horrible!

Although, I do like the sofa better

where the water's carrying it.

How did this happen?

Homie, I don't like where the painting is.

Maybe you're upset about something else.

Are you hungry?

Why don't you make some pork chops?

Fine.

Now can you hang the painting?

Always with the painting.

Perfect. Wait, no, no, it's not.

Try again.

Mm. No, split the difference.

See?

When you listen to me, we make a great team.

It's almost like I can hear the ocean.

I guess we're both at fault.

In a way, that's refreshing.

Do you want me to apologize anyway?

- I'd be happy to. - Aw, no, thanks, sweetie.

Hmm. Well, either way, I'm sorry.

Okay, now, when we try to sell the house,

no one mention the water.

Just tell me you paid the insurance.

You mean that bill that's floating right there?

It's not due till tomorrow, so relax.

My origami project.

Don't worry, sweetie. We'll have a funeral for it.

All right.

I-I'll just pull up your policy. Alt-Control-F... Aw, damn it!

Kate! Kate, can you get in here?

It's a different generation that knows how to work these things.

- Enjoy. - Eh, the kids, huh?

They just know how to do it. Now let's see here.

You're in luck! The policy I sold you

covers the full replacement value of your house.

We also pay for six months temporary housing.

Now the bad news: your policy is the only one I've sold.

It just cost the company a bundle,

and I'm gonna lose my job.

Gee, sorry, ol' Gil.

That's okay, I got options: unemployment, suicide.

When one door closes, a coffin opens.

Eh, what am I saying? I don't make coffin money.

But now I got something to work towards!

That's right.

Kate, can you tell me how to charge a cell phone?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, so wall holes make things charge?

What's next?

There are some nice Airbnb options on the Westside.

Ooh. Huh? Huh?

Mm, I'd feel kind of weird

sleeping in the bedroom of someone I know.

Everything okay with the room?

You're not supposed to be back

from your vacation for three weeks.

It's not a vacation.

My dad is doing seasonal fruit picking.

Come on, Milhouse.

I need you on my shoulders to reach the high apples.

And I don't want to be in a room

where guys walked around with their dinguses out.

No! No, don't imagine that!

So, son, uh, word on the street is you've come into some money.

Yeah?

I was wondering, you know, uh... Just hear me out...

I've always considered you a friend, and...

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is the most precious kind of money there is:

unearned, and it's mine.

And you're not getting at it just because you need

a bigger TV or a room with a window or...

An operation.

You need an operation? What's the matter?

If it's all the same, it's embarrassing,

and I'd rather not discuss it publicly.

Really? What could it be?

Look, it's important to me and pricey.

What could it be?

"Pane in the ass"?

Hands off!

I need professional help!

Not to worry. This is the United States.

We have the third best health care system

in North America.

Hi, Medicare!

I mean, hi, every-money.

Can I speak with the doctor alone?

Of course.

Oh, wait, I'm the doctor.

That's why I wear the heart listening tube.

Ba-boom, ba-boom.

That never gets old.

What's taking Grampa so long in there?

It's crazy that medical costs are so high here.

In Denmark... to pick a country at random... health care is free.

Free? Honey, nothing is free but Splendas.

In Denmark, they make everyone pay high taxes.

Even rich people.

Yes, and they get free health care.

It's called socialism.

Socialism? But all my radio loudmouths tell me to hate that.

That doc can't do nothing for me.

You know, if Grampa was in Denmark and he had an accident,

he'd get medical care for free!

I can't go to Denmark by myself.

I get lost in the middle of a sentence,

and that was the best pie I ever had.

Wait a minute. What if we used our insurance money

to take a family trip to Denmark?

Why would we want to go to Denmark?

It is the happiest country on Earth, in poll after poll.

I got your poll right here.

Hey, you're right.

Homer, you've got the vacation coming.

We've got the money. It's settled.

We're going to Denmark, and Grampa will get fixed.

Well, Homer, looks like Marge is the boss in your house.

Well, I say we don't go!

But we need to go. I'm desperate!

Fine, we'll go.

That woman's got you right under her thumb.

None of these were chosen

as the name of our airline. Danish Air.

Excuse me, sir, the "no smoking" sign has been illuminated.

Sorry.

The flight attendants are so sweet.

We will be landing in Copenhagen shortly.

If you have been designing and building furniture

during the flight, please apply your final coat of varnish now.

Hey, I got things done, too.

What the...?!

Denmark, the jewel of the Baltic.

First-class schools, sleek furniture design,

energy independence,

and brooding TV dramas about teenagers getting killed.

Thank you so much for renting my apartment.

It's so efficient.

Please allow me to give you a tour of Copenhagen.

Wonderful. But first, a nap.

No, Homer. You slept on the plane.

You slept through customs. You slept on the bus.

How can you sleep now?

Don't you hear Copenhagen calling?

Take a message.

The people here are so openly affectionate.

Why don't we all hold hands?

Are we supposed to interlock fingers or not?

Cramp! Cramp!

Dad's hands are covered with jam.

- I can't get it off! - Grampa's hands are too rough.

- Lisa's hands are too soft. - Just keep holding.

Oh, don't worry, the government will pay you

to learn this social skill.

Uh, Homer, you are holding your own hand.

They're fighting over a Danish.

Created in 1913, The Little Mermaid

is a world-famous icon of Denmark.

No, The Little Mermaid was created by Disney,

right before he created Spider-Man and Star Wars.

This is the real little mermaid.

And she was a very tragic figure.

- What about her buddy, the crab? - There was no crab!

He was the only funny thing in it.

Got that right.

Oh, my God, it's wonderful.

More people biking than driving cars.

Yes, it's rush hour,

so people are taking the bicycle superhighways home.

Uh, how crowded are your bicycle superhighways?

Well...

We don't have any.

But how many people ride bikes in your town?

The paperboy, till Dad hit him.

Sadly, the one headline he couldn't deliver.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, stop the car!

What? It's Danish for "speed check."

Fart kontrol.

I apologize for my husband.

In our language, that sign means something else.

Yes, I know.

I'm speaking to you in your language.

"Non-Danes do not qualify for the free health care.

"But if you injure yourself in Denmark,

a Danish hospital will treat you for free."

I can't believe the government puts this out.

For free!

Excuse me, you dropped this.

Lisa, this is Prince Christian, second in line to the throne.

I play the tenor sax.