Cedar Rapids

One of the reasons I love Brown Valley so much

is that when you do business here,

chances are good you know the person you're dealing with.

They're a neighbor or a friend or a friend of a friend.

And you can trust them because they're part of a community.

If there is a bad egg around, people find out pretty fast.

This is why BrownStar Insurance has prospered for 25 years.

We always do right by our customers.

Kurt, Pam,

this policy's gonna save you $400 a year,

and it covers everything you need.

Down the road, you win the lottery, come back on in here,

and I'll sell you the spendiest policy we got.

Seriously, guys, I'm gonna take care of you.

Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.

It's Macy, Tim.

I told you to call me Macy.

Sorry, I keep forgetting.

It's a hard habit to break.

Well, you better get it right soon or

I'm gonna have to make you stay after school.

Bring it. Bring it.

There you go.

Do you realize I used to just stare and stare at you

when you were teaching us about the rainforests or whatever?

And I would think,

"I wonder what Mrs. V looks like with her clothes off."

And then, boom, we run into each other in line at True Value

and, boom, here we are, making love.

Like, once a week.

It's like it was fate or something.

Did you ever used to look at me and think dirty things?

You were 12.

Right.

I got you something.

It's a scarlet tanager. Mmm.

Like the birds you had in your classroom.

That's very sweet. Thank you.

Wait, wait.

Look on his wing.

Hmm.

Isn't that pretty? Is that a...

It's a promise ring.

Promising what?

Well...

We're just having a good time here.

No, we're not. We're having the best time.

Hi, I'm Roger Lemke.

At BrownStar Insurance, we endeavor to give you

the coverage you need at the best prices around.

It's the reason that BrownStar Insurance has been awarded

the prestigious Two Diamond Award

from the American Society of Mutual Insurers

for three years running.

Because at BrownStar Insurance,

we insure your dreams.

Holy Christmas!

You knocked her out of the park.

You knocked it out of the G-D park, buddy!

I'm just a pretty face. That copy was all you, Bill.

Well, I...

I do have one gripe with you, boss.

Mmm-hmm? If you'd waited till after Cedar Rapids,

I could have won the Two Diamonds for you four years running.

Four years!

How do you it, Roger?

So proud of you, Roggie. Mmm...

Hey, Roger.

Tim Lippe! I didn't even see you there.

Oh, man.

Did you see it?

Yeah. You were so awesome.

Oh! Thanks, buddy. Thank you.

Super awesome. Just...

Hey, Roger.

Watch your back, Brad Pitt.

Thank you for the kind words, buddy.

Wow, cake.

Awesome.

Hello?

Tim, it's Bill.

Hey, Bill.

He's gone! Tim, he's gone.

Oh, God, I can't believe it.

What?

It's Roger.

What are you... What are you talking about?

Gwen found him in the bathroom.

He had a belt tied around his neck.

Oh, my gosh.

He was half naked, Tim.

Oh, jeez.

All this time, Roger was some kind of twisted deviant.

Bill, the way Roger died was an accident.

Believe what you want, but people are talking, Tim.

Commitment to God is a big part of the Two Diamonds.

Big part.

Now, people are talking.

Hey, come here, come here. Here you go.

This was Roger's Two Diamonds presentation.

Yeah, and it's a guaranteed Two Diamond winner.

And believe me, I'd go myself,

but I'm locked in to my daughter's wedding over in Gladstone

I got no flex.

What are you saying, Bill?

I am saying, you need to go down there

and give this presentation, Tim.

I can't go to Cedar Rapids.

You can't... You don't want to send me to Cedar Rapids.

All right, listen to me, you were what, 16,

when I gave you that filing job

right after your mom passed?

You were living on your own, pretty much. All by yourself.

And I'm thinking, "Now, here's a kid who's gonna go places."

And then somehow, you just didn't.

I can't. You're all I got, kid.

I need you to go down there and prove that BrownStar is a good outfit,

an upstanding goddamn Christian outfit.

Now, the only thing you have to worry about getting good with

is Orin Helgesson.

He's the president.

He's the final decider on the Two Diamonds.

So, near the end of the weekend,

you're gonna sit down one-on-one with him in his suite

and deliver that presentation.

He needs to be convinced that we're still worthy of that award.

If we don't fix this, our clients will leave us, Tim.

And we'll all be out in the street.

Farmers are confronted with an unpredictable risk-filled...

Unpredictable world of risk-filled uncertainty.

- Cedar Rapids. - Cedar Rapids.

I can't believe that I'm actually going. But I gotta do it, right?

I mean, it's not just my job.

Six other people's entire livelihoods depend on this.

Plus Carol, who does part-time seasonal work, so...

You'll be fine.

Hey, Charlie. Tim, what's up?

I'm going down to Cedar Rapids for the big ASMI convention.

Oh, good. Good.

You can keep that for now.

So all liquids, gels, aerosols must be placed in a Ziploc,

and then your computer, we take out of the case and run through the machine.

It's just me.

Yeah, we gotta do it for everybody, so...

Tim!

Oh, praise Christ you haven't left yet.

Hey, Bill.

Hey.

I can't believe I forgot to give this to you.

It's an ASMI bible. All right?

It'll tell you who to talk to and who to avoid,

who best to fellowship with, network, you know.

Dean Ziegler, Stevens Point, Wisconsin.

Ziegler.

You know that son of bitch called one of Lemke's biggest clients,

Joyce Armbruster?

Smeared Roger's name. Freaking goddang poacher.

Avoid Ziegler like the plague, please.

Now, Ronald Wilkes, the guy I got you rooming with,

that's who I want you to stick by. Okay.

All right? All right, then, come here. Come on.

Well, you lucky ducks have obviously been seated in an exit row.

I just need to make sure you're willing and able to assist crew members

in the event of an emergency evacuation.

I've actually never been on an airplane before.

Well, you'll do awesome.

Well, if you do need help, I'm in.

Thank you.

Oh, sweet.

Hey, man. Can I bum a heater?

What's that now?

A cigarette?

No, sorry, I can't help you there.

Are you here for the convention? Yeah.

Yeah. Tim Lippe, BrownStar Insurance.

Bree. I'm Bree.

Nice to meet you, Bree.

Old trade secret for you.

If you keep smoking, your premiums are gonna go through the roof.

Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Hey, instead of a heater, how about butterscotch?

Nice.

Listen, Tim, if you wanna party, you let me know.

I'm always around.

You got it. Party hardy.

Nice chatting with you, Bree. See you.

Wow!

Checking in with us, sir?

Yeah, I am. Pretty excited about it, too.

All right. Can I get your name?

Tim Lippe.

And we just need a credit card for the incidentals.

Well, Trent, I was under the impression

that you honored traveler's checks.

You bet. We just need to make an imprint of the card,

just like I say, for the incidentals.

Credit card?

All right.

It's standard.

Don't worry. We are not gonna charge it.