Mumbai Matinee

"When one is lucky enough."

"He gets happiness even when he's sad."

"This is Mumbai."

"When one is lucky enough."

"When one is lucky enough."

"He gets happiness even when he's sad."

"There's no stopping anyone."

"They bounce back after difficulties."

"This is Mumbai."

"This is Mumbai."

Name. Debashish Chatterjee.

Date of birth. 4th July, 1970.

Place of birth, Dakshineshwar, West Bengal.

Educational qualification, B.A. St, Xavier's College, Calcutta.

Occupation. Film Executive, Alliance Advertising, Bombay.

Hobbies. Not Applicable.

Marital Status. Single.

Current obsession.

Sex on toast.

As simple as having breakfast. Signature Condoms.

The mark of a man.

Yes!

This film cost me 5 millions.

We need to talk.

We need to talk.

Sick!

5 millions.

You know what 5 millions are.

Yes. Half of 10 millions.

Smart boy.

- He knows his maths. - Yeah.

And I know a lot about chemistry and biology too.

Why don't you check me out?

Sweetheart, once I check you out..

Will you both stop it?

We've a crisis on the hands and you two are..

I'm not an idiot!

- Yes. I.. - I don't need your expert comments.

But all that I was trying to say was, only an idiot would call you an idiot.

That is enough now.

Let's get back to the film.

Sex on toast.

- Whose idea was it? - You did it.

- I was joking. - Well, you should have told me that, right?

- Oh. - Welcome to the real world.

The world of advertising.

Want to sell soap? Walk right in.

Want to sell underwear? Walk right in.

Want to sell sex? We are waiting for you.

And what happens at the end of the day?

A 5 million disaster.

But I'm digressing.

Right now..

..the only part in this campaign that interests me is the part about..

..sex.

Yes. I'm obsessed.

Possessed.

32 years on the planet earth and the garden of Eden still eludes me.

Plain and simple fact, I'm a virgin.

With a capital V.

Sounds shocking, doesn't it?

To tell you the truth, I'm terrified this state of virginal bliss will..

..follow me to my grave.

But I often wonder.

Am I suffering alone on this planet?

Or are there other people walking the streets of the city..

..who are also virgins.

Excuse me, are you a virgin?

What?

Virgin?

Who me?

I love virgins.

What rubbish question you asked me?

Do I look like a virgin?

Bloody rowdy!

How did you know?

Debu?

Debu?

Debu?

Have you heard me Debu?

Yes sir.

I repeat. I want the new film on my desk in one week.

And this time it better work! Or heads will roll!

I swear by the last hair on my head!

Then you better keep the guillotine ready.

What legs!

I just love legs man!

Tell me something Debu.

Do you think Godbole has a thing for Monica?

Search me.

Or I'll search her?

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Isn't it sick in the office?

Just one babe and the rest..

And the rest are those good from far and far from good variety.

Heard the joke in the office?

No, what?

The first guy who catches Godbole without his wig..

..gets a date from Monica. Free date.

She's game for it.

She's probably game for it because she knows that he'll..

..never be caught without his wig.

But there's still hope.

The day he's caught without his wig..

..there's going to be one lucky guy with his pants down.

You got a girl lined up back in Calcutta?

No.

You're cool, right?

You're not a virgin, are you?

I'm sorry.

Did I say something? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

Let's get out of here before the cops arrest you for indecent exposure.

Scoundrel.

You've already got a fan man.

Let's get out of here before you get mobbed.

Hi.

- Hi. - Seem to be in a hurry.

I'm going home.

Your place or mine?

Come on handsome.

You'll have a time of your life.

What are you afraid of?

Come on sexy. Wait till I get my hands on you.

Please.

You rat!

You bloody..

Virgin!

How was it, Debo?

Very nice, Mr. Pinto.

Thank you. One. Have a drink.

No. Thanks.

- Sure? - Yes, absolutely.

Come on man. You young buggers don't know how to drink.

You're sure you won't have one?

No. Thanks Mr. Pinto.

Okay.

So what were you asking me?

No, I just wanted to know, when you're..

- First time, eh? - Yes.

You wanted to know when my first time was.

Yes.

That was a long time ago.

I was young then.

How old were you?

Let's see, I must have been about 13.

30 years old.

30?

13.

What 30?

- 13! - 13.

Unlucky for some. Lucky for me.

Maybe I'll have the drink after all Mr. Pinto.

Good boy.

Tell me Debu.

Why are you asking me all these sexy questions?

Just some research for a campaign.

You're sure?

Yes.

Why?

No. You're looking very tense, isn't it?

Woman problem, isn't it?

Mr. Pinto, you've known me for over a year.

Have you ever known me to have a woman problem?

No man.

That's why I'm worried.

Worried? Why?

See. All these others buggers who were here before you..

..used to sneak in girls. Everyone. Except you.

You're okay, aren't you?

Yes.

You're not a virgin or something, isn't it?

Be careful. Relax. Relax man.

You young chaps need to learn how to relax.

Thrice in the same day!

Has it become so obvious?

Yes.

The most obvious thing in the world.

What's wrong man? You okay?

You look pale.

How did you know?

I knew already.

Impossible.

Just relax. Relax.

I tell you what.

I'll set you up.

Set me up?

And I've got the perfect match for you. Just perfect.

Who?

Laxmi.

- Laxmi? - Yes.

- The maidservant. - Yes.

She's got the hots for you.

To be quite honest, she's not all that bad either.

Good night, Mr. Pinto.

Man, you're going to sleep?

- Yes. - I thought you'll have another drink.

No. Thank you.

13, he thought 30.