UnREAL

You've been stealing $18 million from me and Chet.

Probably shouldn't have put it all in an e-mail, Gary.

But I own your ass now.

You want the Emmy. What do you want?

Quinn's head.

This is an opportunity.

We are gonna take Gary down.

Is that Fiona? God!

I'm selling a VR company I was running.

Chet has put me in charge of this fund-raising dinner.

It's the Chet Wilson Center for Reality Television Studies.

Crystal?

It's just easier, Quinn.

You really are kind of a mess.

I'm not your patient anymore.

I'm not even your child.

I'm never coming back here.

George, what are you doing here?

You know, I heard what you were saying about our relationship.

It really wasn't that special.

- - Madison, what did you do?

You're one of the smartest people I've ever met.

Hey. Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

No, this is totally inappropriate.

Mnh-mnh.

You got a second?

"Moscow."

Come in.

Hey, so, I guess our sessions are over

since I tried to bone you and you're not interested,

so, bye.

Rachel, stop.

Come on in. Take a seat.

I'm actually really glad you're here.

Why?

What happened last night is extremely common.

This works involves a lot of trust and vulnerability,

and those emotions can be overwhelming and confusing.

So, I'm basically a horny toddler?

Do you want me to take a timeout and think about what I did?

All I'm saying is, especially with your history,

it's not surprising. My history.

It seems like the people you become intimate with,

you tend to sexualize your relationships.

Well, I haven't had sex for like nine months...

Uh, hadn't had sex.

Your loss.

- I have options. - I have no doubt.

But the sex isn't the problem.

It's using sex to run away from intimacy.

It's hard for you to let people get close.

No.

No way.

I have plenty of intimate relationships.

Quinn.

Fine.

Jay.

Have you spent time with him outside of work?

Uh, Serena.

Listen, I actually care about what happens to her.

I am trying to help her get what she wants.

Told her a lot of things about my life.

We are friends.

You've known her for, what, like, six weeks?

I've known her eight weeks.

- She's a contestant. - That's not the point.

The point is how I feel.

You're just way off base about me and intimacy, dude.

To take down Gary, we have to figure out

what we're gonna do with his e-mails.

We've got to expose him for embezzlement.

The question is how.

I want public shame.

Abject humiliation.

You know, I want to watch that man

weep into his $400 tie, pleading for mercy.

Total annihilation. I like it.

Oh, my God. I can't believe the fundraiser is tonight.

I know you guys are used to it.

It's just, it's so much pressure.

There's gonna be so many important people here.

All that press.

I just want it to be so perfect.

It will be perfect.

Well, maybe not for Gary.

No.

- I'm gonna keep going. - Okay.

- Okay. - Bye.

Hey, Rach, we're resetting.

We're gonna need Serena's sweat lodge ready in 10.

- Yes. I am on it. - Hey, I have a question for you.

- Yeah? - We're friends, right?

We've known each other, like, what is it, four years?

Yeah. Four years?

Yeah, and we've, like, been in the trenches together.

I mean, you know, time invested, that's a thing.

Uh, yeah.

I... Actually, I wanted to tell you,

after what happened with your dad,

that I had to put my dad in a home a few years back.

Had dementia.

Anyways, I just wanted to tell you

that as much as they're all sick and stuff,

that they still love you.

That's it. That's all I wanted to say.

- Dan. - Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks.

Yeah, no problem.

I, um... I do have to...

- I think that was... - that was just really intimate.

Cool. Just gonna... Yep. Okay. Um...

All right, so, today's a new day.

How you feeling?

Oh, like I completely blew it

when I temporarily became a crazy person.

I mean, I know that I have August.

What was that?

Well, I, uh, I kind of might have

definitely slept with August last night.

- Really? - Yeah.

It came out of having a crazy, awful day.

Just needed something to make myself feel better.

Great. Like, I'm all for making yourself feel better.

What was that?

Uh...

I may have had a pretty shit day myself yesterday.

Uh-huh.

I'm definitely feeling better since I slept with Alexi.

Wow.

Oh, you know, it's really nice to have a single friend again.

None of my married friends will take

my boy-disaster calls anymore.

I'm telling you, you do not have a boy disaster.

It's crazy that you're even saying that.

Owen and Jasper wouldn't even look me in the eye last night.

You have not lost them.

Listen, I helped you yesterday with Jasper.

I'm gonna fix it again today with Owen.

Don't even worry about it.

I'm telling you that August,

he's not your only option.

Come on.

You have mad skills.

You know that, right?

I mean, they could be put to better use.

No offense to "Everlasting."

No, no. All offense to "Everlasting."

- I'm serious. - You should get out of here.

Come work for me.

Really, your CIA mind-game tricks,

I mean, that is valuable.

You make people do what you want.

- Can I get one? Thanks. - Sure.

And then you make them think it was their idea.

That's skills.

- I don't know. - Seriously.

I'll double your salary. I'll get you an apartment.

You could be home every night by 6:00.

You could have friends. You could have a life.

Mm! That's a thing?

- Uh-huh. - Wow.

I'm serious.

I mean, you said August isn't my only option.

Well, "Everlasting" isn't yours.

Think about it.

Okay. I will.

Tonight, Serena will choose

one of her remaining three suitors

to escort her to an elegant black-tie fundraiser.

But first, the heat is on... I hate Graham.

With "Everlasting's" very own sweat lodge.

What better way to sweat out the challenges

of each one of these relationships?

All pores will be open as each couple gets closer

and, dare I say, steamier than ever before?

Okay, the sweat lodge odyssey,

it's very spiritual, it's very cleansing,

and it gets rid of all the bad juju.

And nobody has a problem with this offensive cultural appropriation?

What? The word "juju"?

It's authentic. That's the way we did it in Patagonia.

Oh, yeah, right, at your rich, old white man's retreat.

Did you hunt the natives for sport there, too?

Okay, look, let's just make sure

our boys are authentically shirtless.

That is culturally appropriate.

Rachel did this interview yesterday