Hold Your Breath

Yeah, they can go.

Go ahead.

Looks like the press is coming out tonight.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm warden John Wilkes.

Some of you I have met already over the years.

Tonight, the family members of the many victims

shall see due justice,

as one-time preacher,

turned convicted mass murderer, Dietrich van Klaus,

is put to death

by the means of electrocution.

For 19 year old Betty Drews,

her upper and lower abdomen punctured 62 times with a fountain pen.

David Leadbetter.

His cranium bludgeoned beyond recognition with a wooden fencing post.

Lennette Dahl.

Battered and sexually assaulted with a searing fire iron

and drowned in her own bathtub.

Newlyweds John and Rebecca Cally

tortured, each tooth slowly ripped from their gums.

Rebecca was raped repeatedly,

before both their throats were laid open with a fish scaler.

And Julie has left here today

who escaped her captivity after being shackled and tortured for days

along with her younger sister Danielle who was not so fortunate.

And though it will not bring back the departed,

it shall hopefully bring some comfort

to all those in need.

This time, you are entitled

to make any apologies or verbal reparations

to family of the victims

whom you have so greatly harmed.

Indeed I have, warden.

I would like to recant my father's favorite passage

from Leviticus that he so often loved to quote.

"Any man that blasphemeth the name of the Lord

shall surely be put to death."

"And all of the congregation shall certainly stone him."

"As well as the stranger

as he who is born in the land,

when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord,

shall surely be put to death!"

"And if a man cause a blemish unto his neighbor,

as he hath done, so shall be done to him!"

No!

"An eye for an eye!"

"Tooth for a tooth."

"As he has caused a blemish in his neighbor,

so shall it be done to him!"

Get those straps on!

"And Moses spake to the children of Israel."

"Bring forth he who has cursed outside of the camp

and stone him with stones!"

"And the children of Israel,

they did as the Lord commanded!"

You are all sinners in the eyes of the Lord!

Forget about it! Forget it!

Sinners!

You are all sinners!

Each and every one of you shall die a horrific death!

Sinners!

You are all sinners!

Throw that switch!

Got it!

Hey! Yeah!

- Johnny! - Oh, Johnny!

You guys ready or what?

How are ya?

- Good. How you doing? - Good to see you.

- Good to see you - good! Good!

Mmm.

- Johnny? - Tony.

Hey.

- Hi. - Johnny.

Nice to see you.

Hey. I want you now.

Out of the way,

lovebirds. Come on.

Don't be jealous.

I don't think it's jealousy.

What's wrong with you? Get that out of your mouth!

Could you just relax?

You know we can get in trouble for that, right?

- What's wrong with you? - Oh, my God.

What are you, 5? Relax.

Seriously? Look at this guy.

- Kyle, hey, hey. - Really?

There's gonna be plenty of time for this.

- Plenty of time. - Fine, fine.

And a better place.

I get shotgun.

How does he even get that in anyways?

It's Kyle, man.

I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah!

- Start it up. - Look at this thing.

- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo!

All right, guys, cell phones, pass them up.

What?

- Pass them up. - What?

Pass them up. I told you guys.

We said no phones this weekend.

- Come on, you were serious? - Yeah.

So stupid.

Come on, guys. We all agreed to this.

You guys said you wanted to have a nice weekend.

Relax, no phones, no bosses.

Yeah, yeah, I know what we said.

Here.

It's my iPod.

Yeah, I know what it is. Where's the phone?

I didn't bring it.

She's lying.

Aw, come on.

Fine, just take it.

- There we go. - Dumb.

Throw those things in the glove box.

Let's lock it up.

Better hope you don't lose that key.

Not gonna lose the key.

You guys ready?

- Yeah! - Let's do this!

Whoo!

so, Heath, you, uh, discover anything cool lately?

I have actually,

but nothing your feeble little mind

could possibly comprehend.

Hey, Heath, do you remember when you shot miss Heidelberg

in the neck with a paperclip.

And she had to take sabbatical?

Yes, I do remember that.

That was fucking awesome.

Hell of a shot, dude.

It was good times.

Don't forget about Tony's Guinea ts, huh?

Hey, it's a t-shirt.

Yeah, that's meant to be worn under your clothes,

not as dress wear.

Pathetic.

Hey, like you said, nothing has changed.

By the way, when did you dye your hair?

What?

Yeah, didn't it used to be like a murky brown?

It was dirty blonde.

It was brown... ish.

Wait, he shot the paperclip at the Handelman bitch?

Hey, welcome back to the conversation, Kyle.

You know, I actually missed you guys.

You know, most people don't even keep in touch after high school.

Yeah, it's kind of cool that we did.

Wait, we're not in high school anymore?

Can someone turn the air up?

Kyle is smokin' the shit out of me.

Kyle, how high do you plan on getting?

Pretty damn big.

So you sell weed for a living?

Kind of.

I mean, it's not like I declare it on my taxes,

but, you know, it pays the child support, so...

Proverbial stoner.

That's me.

Oh, check out that old graveyard over there.

- Everyone hold your breath! - What?

Everyone has to hold their breath!

What are you talking about, Jerry?

When a really evil person dies

and they're so evil that hell can't even take them,

they're forced to roam around the cemetery

that they're buried in, trying to find souls to possess.

I heard of this.

So when you drive past a cemetery,

you have to hold your breath

or else they can possess you.

Just everyone. Just do it!

Where did you hear this?

Dude, it's been around forever.

- Never heard of it. - Me, neither.

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me.

Come on, you guys, this is serious.

Just hold your breath, please?

Really, guys, come on, please!

Hold your breath!