South Park

# I'm going down to South Park #

# Gonna have myself a time #

# Friendly faces everywhere #

# Humble folks without temptation #

# Going down to South Park #

# Gonna leave my woes behind #

# Ample parking day or night #

# People spouting "howdy neighbor" #

# Headed on up to South Park #

# Gonna see if I can't unwind #

# Come on down to South Park #

# And meet some friends of mine #

Welcome to the televised broadcast

of the Olympic opening ceremonies from Beijing.

Thousands of Chinese performers

playing ancient Chinese drums.

The precision of their movements

made even more impressive by their massive numbers.

No!

The Chinese, no!

Somebody has to stop them!

No, no!

Eric, sweetie, are you having nightmares about the Chinese again?

They're gonna take over the world!

Ahh!

Too many of them.

No, leave us alone!

No!

Ahhh! No, no!

Sweetiekins, are you all right?

Mom...

Mom, the Chinese are gonna get me!

No, sweetie, the Chinese aren't going to get you.

They are so!

There's 2 billion of them

and their economy is getting better,

and with their advances in technology,

they're gonna bring down America!

All right, guys, we need to talk.

Y'know, we can all just pretend

that we didn't see those opening ceremonies,

but the Chinese are very real.

We've gotta do something.

Are we just gonna pretend America is going to be okay?

Are we just gonna wait until they've taken over the world?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I'm not doing this.

Kyle, you're supposed to tell Cartman he's being racist or something.

Yeah, he's an idiot, but I'm sorry,

I just, I can't do this anymore.

Okay, i-- I can't do this anymore!

Hmm.

Kyle...

Kyle, you can't keep doing this.

You know what, at some point,

you've gotta let this go.

Yeah, well, maybe you can forget what happened,

but I can't.

Look, what happened, happened.

We can't change it now.

We all have to move on.

Move on?

Our friend was raped, Stan!

He was raped!

And we all stood there and did nothing!

There was nothing we could do, Kyle!

There was nothing we could do.

We had to get out of there.

Did we?

Maybe we could've stopped them.

How?

I dream about it every night.

Every time I close my eyes, I see us just running away.

Running while they rape him over and over again.

And because we did nothing, they got away.

You can't keep torturing yourself like this, Kyle.

Let it go.

I'm glad that you guys can just keep living.

I don't think I can.

Goddamn it.

# Loo, loo, loo #

# I've got some splish-splash #

# Loo, loo, loo #

# Splish-splashing more #

- # Loo, loo, loo-- # - There you are, Butters.

Eric!

Butters, I need your help.

Not now, Eric, I'm indecent.

The Chinese are gonna take us over, Butters,

and we are the only people who seem to care.

The Chinese?

I handed out flyers, called together meetings,

but it's like everyone's turning a blind eye.

The Chinese are taking over the world

and nobody's doing anything.

It's up to you and me, Butters.

We have to stop the Chinese now.

Oh, I can't stop the Chinese tonight, Eric.

I'm supposed to make a model car with my Dad.

You don't get it, Butters!

Our lives are about to change.

The Chinese outnumber us a million to one.

And when their army gets here,

they're gonna kill your parents.

Why are they gonna kill my parents?

Because the Chinese hate Americans.

That's why I've started

the American Liberation Front--

a group dedicated to freeing America from Chinese tyranny.

Will you join me?

I don't want my parents to die.

So you'll join the American Liberation Front?

Well, sure.

You and me,

we're going to be the brave little boys who fought back, Butters.

We are not letting them take over our country.

Fuck the Chinese.

Yeah, fuck 'em.

No... no...

No!

No, we-- no, we have to stop them!

They're raping him! Rape!

Let's get out of here!

- We can't just leave! - Come on!

Oh, it's horrible!

Oh, God!

Somebody do something!

Why are they doing this?

They're just taking Indiana Jones and they're--

They're raping him!

I can't watch!

Let's get out of here, Kyle!

Why would Spielberg and Lucas do that?

Come on, let's go!

- Why are they doing this?! - Just run!

Oh, God, what have they done?

Why aliens?

Aliens don't belong in an Indiana Jones movie!

Ba-bleahhh!

Come on, dude, there's nothing we can do.

Why, why?!

We can't help him now.

I thought it was pretty good!

Let's just go, let's just go!

No!

No... no.

Oh, no!

All right, Butters, we're here.

Are you ready?

I'm scared, but I know my country needs me.

This is it, Butters.

We have to be strong.

We're taking down those goddamn Chinese right now.

Things could get ugly in there, Butters.

We've gotta infiltrate

and find out the Chinese invasion plans.

But, Eric, why would the Chinese tell us

their invasion plans?

Because we're going to make them think

we're one of them.

Here, put these teeth in

and just say "herro" and "prease" a lot.

Oh, herro, prease.

Bing-bong, ching-chong.

Bing-bong, herro, prease.

Uh, welcome to P.F. Chang's. I'll be right with you.

Eric, these people aren't Chinese.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

What?

It's already started!

White people in here working for the Chinese.

They're selling out their own country!

Uh, can I help you?

Uh, yes, herro, prease.

We are Chinese peopre.

Herro, prease.

Ping-pow, ding-ling.

Uh, yeah, why don't I seat you over here?

Your waitress will be right with you.

Ping-pow, shay-shah.

What the hell is going on here?

We've gotta sneak our way into the back, Butters--

there they are, Chinese people!

There's Chinese people right over there!

You see them?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, the Chinese are here.

Okay, okay, I'm freaked out, I'm freaking out.

Stay calm, Eric.

They're right over there

and they're gonna start screaming

and banging on those drums

and then they're gonna--

Thank you, Butters.

All right, we need to go over there

and find out what we can from those commie rats.

Oh, herro, prease, herro.

Herro, prease.

So nice to see other Chinese peopre here.