Liar Liar

W... O...

R...

K...

Work.

Today we're going to share what our parents do for...

Work!

My mommy is a doctor.

- My daddy is a truck driver. - My mom's a teacher.

- And your dad? - Mmm. My dad...

He's... a liar.

A... A liar? Oh, I'm sure you don't mean a liar.

Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.

Oh! I see.

You mean he's a lawyer.

Hey, Fletcher. How'd it go?

- Just another victory for the wrongly accused. - Yeah, right.

- Mr. Reede, great job. Do you want your coat back?

No, I'm sure you'll be needing it again and again.

- Do you have a moment? - I'm late. It's my day to be with my son.

A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win.

Yeah? How's my hair?

Fabulous. You look great.

- What time is it? - I am sure your dad just got held up in court again.

- Dad! - Maximilian!

Hey, how ya doin', creep?

Good.

Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me.

- Oh, no, Dad! - Oh, yeah.

It's becoming a claw!

Nothing can stop the claw!

Run, boy, run! Save yourself!

Do the claw to Mom! Do the claw to Mom!

Uh-oh. You found the claw's only weakness.

Subzero temperatures!

- So, did you have any trouble finding the place?

Okay, I'm late. I'm sorry. I ran out of gas.

The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too.

Good thing I was wearin' neutral gang colors.

I might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap.

My mind and my money and my money and my mind

- They would never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer.

That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up.

Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling!

- Oh, Fletcher! - Oh, Audrey!

Why do you have to take him to see that stuff? It's very violent.

The boy must grow to be a warrior.

Who better to guide him than Rick Rude...

and Randy Macho-man Savage in the cage of death?

Oh, good!

- Jerry, how's it goin'? - Hey, gipper!

You look like you grow by the minute!

Fletcher, pleasure to see you. Hi, honey!

Hi.

Wow. That was a nice image. Deleted.

- I have some more boxes for you. - Oh, you're an angel.

- Boxes? - Remember, I told you a few weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston.

Oh, right! The job, the thing. What do you do again?

- Hospital administrator. - Right, right!

Well, the boxes are in my car.

Oh, those can wait.

I made this young man a promise, didn't I?

- Got time to throw a few? - Sure!

Come on, then!

- I forgot the boyfriend was moving. - Jerry!

His name is Jerry! And yes, he's moving.

I'm sorry. I hated him less than your other boyfriends.

- It wasn't serious, was it? - Semiserious, yes.

You guys aren't... You know...

I have been dating him for seven months.

- What do you think? - Really? Ooh!

I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left.

Remember, when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.

Ouch! And the ref takes a point away.

- Out! - Max is gonna miss him.

I'll be here.

Ready? Yeah! Play ball.

Max, come on. We've gotta go.

- Dad, are we really going to wrestling? - Absolutely, Max Factor.

We just have to stop by the office for one minute.

Excuse me, sir. Any spare change?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all out.

I can't do it.

Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible.

The strongest case possible consistent with the truth.

Will you let the judge decide what's true?

That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win.

If you insist that I take it to trial,

I will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically.

But Miranda, I won't lie.

Then we'll just have to find someone who will.

Twenty-first floor. Men's wear.

- Hi, Mr. Reede! - Whoa!

Hey. Did you do something to your hair?

It's a bit extreme, isn't it?

No! That's the thing nowadays, right?

- He said it would accent my facial features. - That's what it does!

It completely accents your facial features.

We're just gonna go to my office...

- Hey, Fletcher. - Hey, Pete.

- You losin' a little weight? - I don't know. Maybe.

Looks and personality. A double-threat guy.

- Hey, Mr. Reede. - Hey... man.

- It's, uh, Randy. - Yeah, I know.

Takin' lunch orders. Anything?

No, thanks.

I had so much for breakfast, I'm ready to pop.

- I mean, I'm full. - Okay. Great.

- Max! - Hi, Greta.

- Hey, what's new? - It's my birthday tomorrow, and we're having a party.

Wow! I am sure your daddy has got you something wonderful.

- Yeah? - Yeah, you bet! Listen, kiddo.

Why don't you play in my office for a minute. Sue somebody for everything they've got.

Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry.

Damn it! I completely forgot.

Oh, what a surprise.

You are a saint. I should buy you a gift.

- You did. - I always do the classy thing. Any calls?

- The Drawlings' clerk needs your filing. - Tell him it's in the mail.

Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow.

Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's goin' around?

- Asian flu? - Good one.

- And your mother called. - I'm on vacation.

- It's your fifth week. - Snowed in. Phones are down.

Break mother's heart. Done. That's it.

Except Miranda's looking for you.

How much ass do I have to kiss to make partner?

- Tell her I broke my leg and I had to be shot. - Tell her yourself.

And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today!

- I'll get right on it. - Miranda! Hey, I didn't see you.

You look beautiful today.

Here! I bought you a gift.

Oh, thanks. I heard about your victory. Congratulations.

You're making quite an impression on the partnership committee.

That's right! You folks are meetin' soon.

I've been so busy, I haven't even thought about it.

Anyway. I have a client in my office.

- Better not keep him waiting. - Actually, something rather important's just come up.

Um, you're not busy tonight, are you?

We're not going, are we?

Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical?

- Mm-hmm. - And choices that have to be made...

- upon which all one's future happiness will depend? - Mm-hmm.

This is one of those moments.

What are you trying to say?

Will you marry me?

- You're moving. - I know, but I want you and Max to come with me.

Audrey, I've been giving this a lot of thought.

You know I'm not prone to wild flights of romantic fancy.

- Mmm. - But the thought of you and I together just makes sense.

Now I'm ready. I think you're ready. I love Max.

You love Max. It's right. It fits.

So what do you say?

Hey, creepy. Happy birthday.

How old are you now, 22 or 23?

- I'm five, Dad. - Okay.

Return the beer keg.

Cancel the dancing girls.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I feel completely unprepared for this.

You see, I bought you a present, but last night...

I accidentally swallowed it.

- Dad, it's in your belly! - Scalpel.

I hope it's not partially digested!

Ooh! Look out!

- Cool! What is it? - Cool!

It's... It's a surprise.

All right, it's a pony. Just open it!

I'm gonna help, 'cause I can't stand it!

- Baseball stuff! - Baseball stuff!

Cool! Can we play?

I'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play?

- Absolutely. - Yeah!

Right after your party tonight, we'll do it.

You and me.

I just have to really concentrate on this right now.

Hi!

Hey! Happy birthday.

- Thanks, Mom. - Happy birthday, Max!

One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck!

He struck the child. Did you see that?

- Look at what Dad got me! - Whoa! Great!

Hey, I have my glove in the car.

Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch.

Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it.

It'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad!

Thanks, son. I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together.

My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.

Something's come up, and we need to talk.

Come on, Mom. I want to go play!

And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight?

- Tonight? - Yes.

- Max's birthday party. - Oh! Yeah.

Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great!

- Maximus! I'm outta here. - Bye, Dad.

Jerry, enjoy my wife.

Hmm.

Well, this is good.

This is really smart.

- Thank you. - Only...

Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem?