Casual

Hi, Grandma.

Why are you at Alex's house?

My mom and I are staying here since the divorce.

Valerie got divorced?

Laura and I have to go look at houses later this afternoon.

What's wrong with my house?

You knew we weren't gonna live here forever.

I do now.

You fat-shamed a journalist.

The bartender that wrote a blog post

that got picked up by Jezebel.

I've just never slept with someone for their personality.

Thank you. I learned a lot.

We should go shooting sometime.

Yeah, that would be fun.

Yeah, that would be fun.

I've been going through sort of a hard time lately,

and I'm... I'm gonna try some new things.

"Hi, Valerie.

"I'm a 47-year-old DILF looking for my MILF.

Kisses and bites, Marky."

- DILF? - Marky?

Ooh.

Okay, "I regret to report that you are

"above the maximum standard of attraction.

"above the maximum standard of attraction.

"Please delete your account immediately.

JK, coffee?"

Oof. Next.

Okay.

Too sweaty.

Too smiley.

Too goatee-y.

Whoa! There you go.

Oh, oh, come on!

Don't look at that. Don't look at that.

Please stop pretending that I haven't seen

a dick before.

Okay, fine, but seriously.

Looks pretty serious to me.

You know what, that's harassment.

No, it's the new "hello."

Oh, Dad's texting you.

He says he wants you to call him.

He says he wants you to call him.

Ugh.

I mean, your father and I respect each other very much,

and I will call him back later.

Nice.

Ugh, I mean, it's inappropriate and sleazy.

It can't possibly work.

And yet it somehow does.

Shit.

What?

Valerie.

Couldn't just let me have my divorce on my own, huh?

Everyone needs their mother at a time like this.

So you've come for... dinner?

I'm here as long as you need me.

- Hey, Grandma. - Call me Dawn.

Call her Grandma.

It makes me so happy to see you all living together.

It makes me so happy to see you all living together.

Well, we did it for 18 years back at the house,

which you would have noticed if you'd been around.

I miss your sense of humor.

So Alex tells me you're dating?

- Hmm? - What are you looking at?

Comments about how I'm unlovable

and my website's a scam.

Unlovable?

- That sounds self-destructive. - It is.

Then maybe you should stop.

It serves a purpose.

It's good to get out there.

It's good to get out there.

The world is calling. You should answer.

Well, it's only been a few months, Mom.

Well, at your age, every month counts.

I smell something like smoke.

I don't smell any... Oh, yeah.

Why aren't you stepping in?

It's kind of fun to watch.

- Do you hear her? - Yeah.

Do you hear how overjoyed about my divorce she is?

Of course she is, Val. She gets to act like an expert.

Of course she is, Val. She gets to act like an expert.

Oh, my God, I want to murder her.

I do, I want to twist her fucking neck

until her smug face pops off.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Stop.

- You want her gone? - Yes.

Then just let her be right.

Whatever she says, you nod and agree.

- That's idiotic. - It's effective.

You and Grandpa... I mean Charles...

- You were never married? - Not officially.

We never wanted to contractually

own one another.

So you were, like, sleeping with other people?

Naturally.

Let's practice. Okay?

- Alex... - So, Valerie...

Global warming is a total hoax, am I right?

Global warming is a total hoax, am I right?

- Alex, stop. - Am I right?

- Yeah, that sounds right. - Very good.

Best Clint Eastwood movie,

it's got to be Trouble with the Curve,

don't you think?

Such a good movie.

It was a revelation.

See? You got it.

But you were together?

Until we split up, yes.

And how did Mom and Alex feel about that?

I never really asked.

But we needed to. It was time.

It was organic. We never rushed into things.

It was organic. We never rushed into things.

It was like I always told you.

You were so young when you got married... too young.

This divorce is giving you a tremendous gift.

Thanks, divorce.

I need to vent.

- Do you have a sec? - Mm...

- 'Cause I need... - Um...

What?

Sorry.

Okay, you can't just show up here.

You won't return my texts.

If you want to meet, you have to go

through the lawyers.

Is that really where we are?

What do you need now?

It's time to sell the house.

Not yet.

When?

When I'm ready.

You don't get to control everything.

- You left. -

You're the one who said, "I never want to step foot

in that house again," remember?

Oh, yeah.

I remember. I remember.

Doesn't mean I'm ready to sell it, though.

Doesn't mean I'm ready to sell it, though.

I can box things up for you.

The leather bar stools,

the doorknobs that you got in Big Sur.

- Ugh. - What?

Nothing.

You know what?

Until we reach an agreement, that house... it's 50% mine,

and you are not to put it on the market.

Are you sneaking in?

Are you hiding behind a plant?

Who are those people?

She got us a throuple's massage.

A what?

Oh, Jesus. That's three.

- Three what? - Penis pictures.

- They're called dick pics. - Whatever.

Same photo?

No... see, first one's an aerial shot,

and the second one's next to a remote.

Uh-huh, for perspective.

Yeah, but every remote is different, so.

Yeah, a soda can would be a better barometer.

Yeah, a soda can would be a better barometer.

Probably.

Hm.

Oh, shit. Uh, here she comes.

- I'm gonna... - Wait, wait... wait.

Where are you going?

- Um, anywhere but here. - No, no, no.

Wait... hey, what happened to saying yes and, you know,

nodding and agreeing?

Yeah, with words. You don't do stuff with her.

Oh, good, you're here. We can start.

Oh, I just got called into the office.

So it looks like it's just you gals.

I understand.

And don't worry about that blogger.

Just because no one has loved you yet

doesn't mean you're unlovable.

Doesn't mean you're unlovable.

I'm sensing tension in her back.

Work her shoulders.

I think she knows what she's doing.

She doesn't know what you've been through.

- It's a divorce. - Oh, that's right.

That's what it is. It's a divorce.

You can't be so hard on yourself, dear.

You can't be so hard on yourself, dear.

We all make mistakes.

Is it better if we just don't talk, maybe?

Have you met Drew's new partner?

I have not.

You should, so you can unburden yourself.