Rentadick

Now, our readers would like to know

the full story.

So, where do I start?

You could try the beginning.

Ah, the beginning.

It seems so long ago.

We were living somewhere in England.

(man whistling)

My husband became extremely jealous.

I really can't think why.

Utta.

Utta!

Hello, darling.

Poor Jeffrey.

I think his work was getting on top of him.

He was in chemicals, you know.

And, also, he had a lot of trouble with some Japanese.

Oh, wait a minute.

Hey.

Wait a minute.

I should have told you the reason why his work

was getting on top of him

was because he had discovered this nerve gas.

The army was mad about it.

Deadly, was it?

No.

It didn't kill people.

Just one little poof and it paralysed their legs a bit.

You mean it paralysed them temporarily?

Yes.

Must have been invaluable militarily.

Eureka.

Rip it.

Eek.

You'll go down in the history books for this.

So these Japanese got wind of Jeffrey's gas

and they wanted to steal it.

They were led by a famous secret agent called.

Madame Greenfly.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I nearly forgot.

There was this Arab airport near London

which was managed by Prince Hassein.

Pill.

My pill.

An Arabian gentleman who was always looking for new wives.

About next month's consignment,

I had considered sending you a slim, young geisha.

Slim?

Young geisha?

He had a very big turnover.

Oh, but I should have explained.

Because Jeffrey was jealous, he had gone to see.

Major Upton who had a detective agency.

Jeffrey went to see Major Upton to have me followed.

I don't think he quite realised what he was

letting himself in for.

You will handle this discreetly.

Won't you, Major?

This firm has a very good reputation, Mr. Armitage.

Not only for getting results,

but for the tack and discretion in which we get them.

Good.

Now.

This telephone call on Tuesday.

What exactly did the man say?

Oh, well I wrote it down.

He said,

"Your wife has got a smashing pair of milkers,

I must say."

Hm.

This could be very useful.

"But a married woman didn't ought to flash them

around so much."

And, as one of your brochures happened to arrive

the next morning,

I thought.

Yes, yes.

I'll put one of my best men onto this.

'Scuse me for a moment.

Well, I don't know.

Tell him it's for the organ fund.

Right, father, yes.

Well, I'll be hearing from you, eh?

Ah, Hamilton.

I'm sorry.

Gannet and I are busy.

Owiltruss and West are free.

Oh yes.

Owltruss.

That's a start, Gannet.

Keep it.

Owltruss.

West.

Are you in there?

Other door.

Ah, West.

I've got a little job for you.

Yes, we're all rather busy at the moment.

Why don't you use the new chap?

What's his name?

Hobbs.

He's very good.

Yes, that's right.

He's very good.

Ah, good.

Right. Good idea.

Good idea.

Excellent.

Oh, I use the other door.

- Use the other man. - I use the other man.

Meanwhile, the Japanese had got into the factory,

pretending they were an official delegation for

the Japanese gas board.

We are from Japanese Gas Board.

We are official deregation.

Well, our tour usually starts in the typing pool.

Excuse me.

What is that way?

I'm afraid I can't show you that.

That is where gas produce?

Yes.

No, no.

I am not allowed to say that.

Lady, gentlemen.

This way please.

You know what they say about oliental woman?

It's true.

I show you.

Oh, good heaven's, you're not allowed here.

No?

No.

Souvenir please.

Oh. No, no, no.