Leprechaun's Revenge

There once were some Irish folk, but sadly, they were quite broke.

So they packed up their crates and moved to the States,

and their fortune, they brought in a poke.

Now, their luck, it came fast, and their fortunes grew vast,

because they stole the luck of a creature.

But the thing got away, and their gold turned to hay.

The town was appalled, and fools they were called,

for ever daring to gain from the dreaded luchorpain.

But that all came long before me.

My part in this tale starts exactly as it ends.

With a bang.

You missed it high right, toots. You're too good a shot to miss it high right.

Let's adjust that sight.

Life is all about math, alchemy, and luck.

With us O'Haras, it's mostly luck.

Yeah, you and that lucky boar's tooth.

It's an irrational world.

I don't make the rules. I just break them.

Do you really believe all that stuff?

You know, luck and fairies and magic?

I certainly do.

No, but really. You really believe it?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Henrietta,

than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

- What? -Exactly.

- You got one in the chamber? -No.

Put one in.

There it is. Follow me. Come on.

Pop!

- Karen, you all right? -Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- I thought I told you to follow me. -I know. I got a little turned around.

You okay? Is she okay? You okay?

She's fine. She just kind of spun around and knocked down.

Fell down? Honey, sweetheart, are you doing all right?

You gonna tell me what happened out there?

I was walking...

How many times have I told you those damn boars are dangerous!

You don't even have a hunting license, for Pete's sake!

What the hell do I need a hunting license for? I know you.

If you knew me, you'd know how pissed off I'd be if I knew you took her out.

It's one thing to put your own life in danger.

All right? It's quite another to put Karen's.

You're crossing the line, old man. What?

She's very capable.

I don't know what you see, okay? But when I look at her, I see a little girl.

- Well, open your eyes. -My eyes are open.

And you know what they see?

They see the whole town saying your pop is a lunatic.

And you know what? I've been defending you till now.

Because I believe them. They're right. They're all right.

What? I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

What in the hell?

I should have mowed my cat and dog.

What in the hell?

You want my gold tooth?

Are you sure you're all right?

Dad, I didn't...

Didn't just fall in the woods. Something attacked me.

Attacked? What do you mean something attacked you?

An animal?

It got caught in some roots, I shot it, and it ran.

Well, I'm glad you're safe,

but you've got to make sure you know what it is you're shooting at, honey.

What?

I'm just glad that Pop's teaching you to take care of yourself.

Hey, Hap.

Top of the morning to you.

Grab some real estate. I'll be right with you.

Lucky number seven.

You ready to talk about it, or I have to wait to number eight?

And don't give me any of that "we don't talk about that crap."

We don't talk about that crap.

Almost got Karen killed.

What? How?

Hunting. Keening Woods.

Tempting fate hunting over there all the time. You know that, right?

Haven't found any fairy folk over there in over 100 years.

But something's wrong.

Don't start with the leprechauns again.

I'm still picking teeth off the floor

from the last fight you started over those damn things.

Here. Just be glad you're not old man McHenry.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, his bed-and-breakfast burned down on Tuesday. Look.

Anybody get hurt?

No, but still...

Luck of the Irish.

No number eights till you stop with the leprechaun crap.

What can I do for you fine folks? Starting a bit early, aren't you?

Dad?

Dad?

Hello. Hi, honey.

- God. I think something's in the house. -You what?

The door's open. The alarm went off. I think someone's here!

Go to your room right now and lock the door.

Go. Move. Now. I can't hear you.

- Why aren't you walking? I can't hear you. -Okay.

Are you there?

Are you... I heard the door. Are you in?

Sweetie? All right. Now listen to me. Are you sure about this? Honey?

Yeah.

Okay. Then you do exactly as I say. You get under the bed right now.

It's the safest place you could be. Go. Hello?

You're dead, Karen. You're dead.

You're dead, and you don't even know it.

Hurry up!

Hey.

Hey. Why didn't you tell me you weren't coming to school?

Yeah. Sorry. I only decided a few minutes ago.

What's that?

Some kind of weird plant rash.

Okay. You look weird. What's wrong?

I was attacked.

What? By who?

Some animal out in the woods.

Holy crap, Karen. Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. Pop was there. I had my gun.

I shot at it, and it ran.

If you need me to bail, I totally can.

No, that's fine. Just go to school, and I'll see you later.

- Are you sure? -Yeah.

- All right. Feel better. -Yeah.

Bye.

- Karen, hey. -Hey, Karl.

Hey. Yeah, from the Keening Courier.

I also have that blog that I write called Strange Happenings.

- I have seen it. -Cool.

You were at the pharmacy. You're not feeling too good?

Not really, no.

Well, anyway, I was wondering if you had a minute,

you want to talk to me about that experience you had out in Keening Woods?

Because I saw the police report your dad wrote

that you were attacked by an animal,

but you weren't able to identify it completely.

So, I was just wondering if you could describe it for me.

No, Karl, I do not feel comfortable doing that for your blog.

- Okay. Strange creature, huh? -No.

- Unearthly? Otherworldly? -No.

- Karl! -No. Yeah. But, see...

I was doing research on the area that you were hunting in,

and I just noticed that it was right next to the Tree of Tears,

and I was wondering if anything strange happened.

Wait.

What is the Tree of Tears?

It's right smack in the middle of Keening Woods.

- You heard of it? -No.

As legend has it, it's...

The town has some dark secrets that are buried right there.

You sure you don't want to tell me about this thing you shot?

- I get 100,000 hits a week on my blog. -No, Karl.

You weren't really out there hunting boar, were you?

- What? -You're an O'Hara. Come on.

And what is that supposed to mean?

It's Pops O'Hara, the O'Hara legacy.

Okay, thanks, Karl.

Okay. I get it.

But if you change your mind and you want to talk to me, call me,

'cause I'm texting you my number right now.

- Great. Thanks, Karl. -That was me on the phone.

Great. Who gave you my number?

Bye.

What the heck are you? No! No!

Top of the morning to you.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.

I love you, Karen, but you can't come in here.

Your dad's gonna shut the place down in a flash.

Come on. When I was 10, you let me sit there and sing Oh, Danny Boy

for tourists with Pop. You didn't have a problem with it then.

Sweetheart, that's commerce.

Son of a bitch.

I knew it. You're cheating me, old man!

Hey. What the hell is the matter with you? You can't cheat at darts.

You can either throw the dart in the bull's-eye, or you can't.

The only person who's ever cheated you was the guy upstairs.

He cheated you out of any brains.

Knock it off, both of you.

It's all right. I got it.

Hey, O'Haras don't hustle. Get out.

Who the hell are you?

Someone who can have the Sheriff here in two minutes.

Now leave.

You heard the lady. Hit the bricks.

You're hustling dart games now? That's a new low.

Just separating a fool from his gold. You want to play?

Pop, I...

I have something I want to show you.

Do you know what that is?

Looked it up.

It says it's an ancient curse from Ireland.

You pick a red four-leaf clover, and you release an evil spirit.

If you don't get it in four days, you're dead.

I picked one yesterday.

So, what do we do?

We're gonna need the luck of the Irish.

Luck of the Irish? What the hell does that even mean?

You're always legends and fairy tales, but now something really real comes along,

and all you've got is the luck of the Irish. What's the end of this fairy tale?

I don't need luck of the Irish! I need answers!

Well, Karen...

The burn on your hand is concerning,