Mad Love

This is my friend ben,

And he just fell in love with a girl named kate,

Which is why he's skipping and jumping

And just generally acting like an idiot.

Thank you.

Took the liberty of ordering us a little hot breakfast.

The rub is I don't have any money to pay for it.

No problem.

Listen, larry, I am walking on air.

I'm taking kate out tonight,

And if it goes half as well as I think it will,

It'll be the last first date of my life.

I'm sorry about that.

Wwhat's the big deal? You already hung out with kate.

The big deal is you're always there,

Or her friend connie is...is... is there.

Tonight it's just the two of us,

Our first proper date,

And the first date is huge, larry.

It sets the tone for the rest of the relationship.

Ben, there you are.

I'm so sorry. I have to cancel tonight.

Yeah, well, it was a good run, you guys.

Kate, you remember larry,

The large guy that follows me everywhere.

Hi. Larry.

I know it's terrible timing,

But I just got this urgent work thing.

Oh, that doesn't sound like a lie at all.

No, no, I just...

I closed a lease on the 48th floor,

So I've got to pull together tenant info

And client terms and liability wavers, addendums...

Whoa, that is too boring to be a lie.

I will see you upstairs, all right?

Don't forget to pay.

It's not a lie. I do want to go out.

I want to go out every night.

Well, not every night. I mean, I'm not crazy.

No, do...it's fine. Don't worry about it.

We'll just, um... we'll pick another night.

Are you sure? Yeah.

I'm sorry. What about Thursday?

Thursday... Ah.

I have a mandatory dinner with the partners.

Oh.

But II don't have to go to that.

Oh, no, no, it's fine. We'll figure this out.

Um, you know what?

I have work to do,

But I have to eat, and connie's gonna be out on a date.

Do you want to just come over to my place?

Wha...really?

Oh, my god. No.

Um, II didn't mean it like that.

Wha...no, I...

I di...that's not... I didn't mean it like that.

I was just, um...

You talk.

Okay, um, so maybe, like, 8:00?

8:00. That sounds great.

Great. I can make my famous rigatoni

In vodka sauce.

Ooh, vodka sauce... perfect.

The only thing I like more

Than eating carbs is getting plastered.

I don't really have a drinking problem.

Connie, ben is gonna be here any second,

And he's gonna think that he's dating a pig.

Well, he's gonna find out you're a pig at some point,

So you might as well let him know now.

Please, connie.

Okay, fine. Stand back.

Thank you. Connie, I need this night to go well.

I want him to like me as much as I like him,

So I need him to think that even though I work really hard,

I'm still kind of together at home,

That my hair just naturally does this,

That I am lactose tolerant.

Wow.

I'm a nanny.

I've mastered the art of sort of cleaning...

Although there's nothing I can do about that.

Is this a bad outfit?

No, I just didn't know it was prom.

good luck.

Hey, there he is.

Yeah, I, uh... I took a cab.

I don't know why I told you that.

Yeah, I don't know why I said, "there he is,"

Because...

You know where you are.

You guys should have a talk show.

Hey, connie.

Don't worry. Um, she will be leaving soon.

Oh, that reminds me.

Uh, larry's gonna stop by to pick up a file.

You told your creepy friend where we live?

Great.

Now I have to hide my doritos.

Look at all this beautiful food.

I can't believe you went to so much trouble.

Oh, it was no trouble. I had to go to court today,

And there's this little shop down there

Where this old lady makes pasta by hand.

They were closed, so I got this at d'agostino's.

So you had a trial today?

So what is your record in the courtroom, counselor?

We don't really keep track of...

Of stuff like that... 28 and 0.

Okay, time to check out all the gunk in my pores.

Look at this, kate. It's like it tells its own story.

And the end.

Oh, I get it.

We're pretending not to care about our pores.

I'll just leave it on your nightstand.

Please don't.

Mmm, crudite.

Don't you have a...

Connie, what's the e.T.A. On dale?

You know dale. He's always late.

It doesn't mean anything. Stop reading into it.

I'm not at all, ever.

Thank god. He's here.

Hi...ugh.

"hi...ugh" to you too.

I'm here for a file from ben. Sure you are.

I know a stalker when I see one.

Said the wicked witch longingly.

Here you go.

I got about three quarters of the way through.

There's some questionable language

That you're gonna want to clean up.

Whoa. I got to clean this up? Well, it is your case.

Wow. You went there.

Unbelievable. That's fine.

Good night, everybody. Good night.

Oh, oh, are you guys watching the knicks game?

No, it's just on that channel.

I actually have a lot of money riding on this.

Is it cool if I... both: No.

Kate, I need five minutes.

I'll leave the instant the game's over.

Of course. Sure.

Oh, yes. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, that's actually good, too,

Because, you know, if I have any questions about the file thingy,

You're right here.

Larry, you can't stay.

Remember, first date... setting the tone?

It's just supposed to be me and kate.

Well, why does she get to stay?

I am waiting for my date to arrive.

No, really, why does she get to stay?

I'm sorry that he unbuckled his belt.

that's fine. He's your best friend,

And he did say he'd be gone in, like, five minutes.

He says lots of things.

"i'll be gone in five minutes."

"i'll pay you back." "that chair was already broken""

That's like me and connie. We're close, but we fight.

Not fight fight, tickle fight.

I have work to do...

After I have a glass of wine.

I hate doing paperwork.

There are some parts of being a property manager

That I love...

Making deals and meeting people

And having access to all the secret tunnels.

There are secret tunnels? No. Maybe. Yes.

God, I'm not supposed to tell anybody.

I tell everybody.

Well...

Here is to a proper date.

Oh.

Whoopsy. Sorry, ben.

No, no, no, it's fine. You...you can hardly see it.

Connie, we talked about this, remember?

What did we agree to say every time we opened that door?

"coming through."

"coming through." I knew that.

But if that is too hard to remember,

Maybe just don't come in here anymore,

Because I don't know if you've heard,

But I'm on a date.

Wow, sorry.

I just came in to get my keys,

Because I'm sure dale, who is not yet here,

Is probably close to arriving,

And I want to be ready if and when he does.

And thank you for your support.

Ugh.

I'll be in my bedroom.

Oh, I admire your bravery... you know, going in there

With all those sad memories of sleeping alone.

Good point.

I think I'll stay in here and see what's on my tv.

Oh, my god, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, goody, a city council meeting.