Avenue 5 - Second Season

Iris, trajectory. And make it good news.

Liquid fuel reserves

are insufficient to correct our course--

Then we'll think of something else, Iris.

Something scientific.

How can so much light...

...feel so dark?

The sun gave our ancestors life.

The fuck we gonna let it bring us death.

I agree.

- You see that? - Yeah.

It's my TV show, and I'm barely even in it. Look.

I agree.

I concur.

I think so too.

Embrace the fear, always. - I absolutely agree.

Why does he agree with everything

that's said to him. - You hate agreeing.

Exactly! I-- You know what, I don't understand this.

Why doesn't Iris go up to them

and tell them about all the cool shit I do?

Not to be unkind,

but you don't actually do that much cool shit.

What are you talking about?

The whole time I've known you, you've done, like,

maybe one piece of cool shit. - Which? You mean...

The time you crushed the soda can. - ...crushing the soda can?

Man, that was so badass.

You need to get crushing.

I agree.

My Go-- Fifty-seven more eels dead

overnight.

God, all that unfulfilled potential.

You think about what they could've been.

Food, Matt. They could have been food.

Hey, there's a dot on the horizon.

I mean, we just avoided one sun.

Are we going for best out of three?

Matt, will you shut your doom hole?

We're trying to suppress those mem--

There's a dot. Is that a good dot or a bad dot?

I bring news. We have a dot.

We know. Is it good? Is it a good dot?

Most likely a military space station.

It's conga time, folks! - Ooh-ho!

My gosh! Intelligent crew members.

They could help us fix the eel tank.

I mean, the guys, I work with,

it's like someone drew eyes on a sock.

No... No offence. - And new friends!

- Did I say that out loud? - Yeah.

Herman Judd on deck! - Here to crush shit up.

Not now, Judd. We have got an actual space station.

This is-- This is hope, right here.

Bridge crew, set a course for that space station.

Never mind the speed limit.

You heard the boss. Let's make human contact.

New people, people. - I agree!

I actually do this time.

Which one is it? It's that one?

Right there.

Stormfalcon.

This is Captain Ryan Clark of Avenue 5.

Our eel tanks are fucked. Can you help us? Over.

This is Johanna from the Stormfalcon.

What seems to be the problem?

Okay, tell her that the nanofilters are on the fritz,

that the tension stat's blown-- - Ask if they have any shoe deodorizer.

Will you shut the fuck up? Both of you.

Johanna, how lovely to hear an English voice.

Listen, I wonder if we can do this face to face.

I could come over with some improvised icebreakers,

maybe a tray of home-baked protein.

Copy that. Ready and waiting.

What's her problem? - Now, we need a delegation

with the requisite social skills.

I could go.

I'm a virtuostic conversationalist. Self-taught.

Billie, Matt, Spike. Let's go. - Yeah, keep the number small.

Smart. Okay. Away, team!

Stay frosty.

Space marines, tough as fuck and twice as big.

Hello! Welcome to the Stormfalcon.

Lovely to see you. - Hi.

On behalf of the people of Avenue 5,

we brought flapjack.

Wow, thanks. We love anything cooked in a rectangle.

A bit too much, some of us.

Come on through.

So, you've gotta ask for the chief engineer

as soon as possible, so that we can get straight-- - Billie! Billie! Yes, let's--

Let's do the human stuff first.

this is our main lounge area.

It gets a bit wild when the jigsaws are out.

Well, this is, surprising for a, military facility.

No, actually, we're a science unit.

Military? I wouldn't fancy my chances

of passing the physical.

God, it's so civilized here.

Avenue 5 is a cultural void.

We have a problem with toddler combat.

That is a bit of an exaggeration.

- Toddler combat? - Yeah,

kids so starved of stimuli that they've started

kind of a cage fighting thing in the soft play area.

It doesn't sound great when you put it like that.

But there's a lot of adult supervision.

Sometimes crowds of up to 50, 60 people.

I'm gonna come clean.

We are just such huge fans of the show about you.

Tha-- the-- yes, yes.

"How can so much light feel so dark?"

Is that one of the... the-- - Yes.

You-- you know, um, one of my favorite lines

that he does is, "Can you help fix the eel tank?"

Sorry, which one are you in the... in the show?

Billie. Billie McEvoy. Chief science officer.

Really, is that what you are?

- Yes. - Are you sure?

Because on the show, she has a much more pleasant energy.

Yeah, that's her.

That's-- that's her, and I think...

Yeah, there she is, too.

No, she can't even spell "science." Or "eels."

Eels. I think we can help you with that.

This is Lyle, our resident physicist,

freethinker, and all-around nonconformist.

I find traditional methods of thought too rigid. Sue me!

Captain, would you care to stay for supper?

Bring some plus ones. - We really can't

because the eels are actually in cris--

Billie, human.

You know, that would be absolutely delightful.

Well, I could whip up some

calcium phosphate noodles in the emulsifier.

You should meet Frank. Frank is our you.

Sad eyes. Phenomenal omelets.

Captain, let me show you some long chain fatty acids

we were looking at the other day.

And obviously you checked the solenoid valve,

they clog up faster

than a gas station toilet. - Yes!

You really do know your stuff. I mean, God! I miss competence.

Um, I'm a bit of a maverick myself.

Check the old neck warmer.

Friend, that's not a ponytail.

This is a ponytail.

Wow. Spike Martin.

Fifth Canadian on Mars? Never heard of him.

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

Come on, give me something else,

something better.

Look, I've been riding this lithium thing for you, bareback.

I should be on that list! - Which list?

Time magazine's "50 Most Tragic Middle Managers"?

Yes to the coffee, no to you.

Look, we've got one last supply shuttle

before they're out of range-- - Why are you still here?

I'm busy.

Right, these windows aren't gonna lick themselves.

What's wrong?

I can smell fear, and... is it burritos?

What are you hiding? - All right.

You want in on a little Armageddon.

Fine.

Earth is running out of lithium. Now you know.

So there'll be no supply shuttle,

there'll be no nothing.

Wait, I saw documentaries about lithium shortages,

but I thought they were just documentaries.

Without lithium, you can say goodbye to banks

and telecoms and computers, and you can say hello

to wearing untreated animal skins

and wiping your ass with leaves.

I am not saying hello to that. Or shaking your hand.

Fuck it, maybe I'll get on that last shuttle.

Who can blame you? This must be exhausting for you.

See!

Maybe, you just need to... rest.

Ass to the left.

All right, I'm platituded out. And I drugged your coffee.

Is it?

Yeah.

And... there he goes.

Leaving on shuttle, immediately. Standard meal, non-insectoid.

Meet some of our finest and most available.

This is, this is Frank.

- Hello. - Frank has a cookery show

on our ship, called--

what's it called, Frank? Leave It Alone, is it?

- Let It Settle. - Let It Settle.

Live from the Frank Tank.

What-- what kind of cuisine?

Tell us about the cuisine, Frank.

It's high flavor, low voltage.

I use only hotel cabin appliances,

and love.

That's what you do with your love.

Okay, um, we just lost another eel.

Eel Patrick Harris is dead. - No. He was great.