True Adolescents

Candace.

Dude, it's me.

I know, Sam, but them's the rules.

Dude, it's like a tiny, teeny poster.

No one is even gonna notice.

Dave will be here tomorrow. Why don't you come back then?

Tomorrow's the show. It's too late.

Dude.

That's fucking lame, man.

Come on. When did you become like a corporate shill?

What is this?

Yes, that's me.

Selling my soul here at Bop Street Records.

Well, that's how it starts, man. That's all I'm saying.

Check yourself.

Check yourself.

* Circuits in my head

* Uh huh

* Circuits

* Circuits in my head

* Uh huh

* Circuits in my head

* Circuits

* Circuits

* Circuits

All right.

Thank you, guys.

Thanks for coming out on a Tuesday night. We're The Effort.

On your way out, please stop by

and see Amy at the merch table.

Amy, you wanna wave to the crowd?

Which one?

Which one, yeah.

She's a comedian. That's a joke about, uh...

Yeah. That's really funny. Thank you. Um...

Anyway, thanks for coming, guys. I'll see you next time.

Why do you have to act that way?

What way?

Why do you have to shit on me in front of the whole band?

The whole fucking audience?

Oh, you mean all six of them?

You see? That's what I'm talking about.

Little fucking, conniving, undermining, like,

stabbing-me-with- a-toothpick bullshit.

Why do you do that?

I was making a joke.

I don't think it's funny. All right?

You take yourself too seriously.

You know, it's not about that.

It's about basic respect, Amy. All right?

You just, like, wake up, and just like,

"Hey, let's just fuck with Sam today!"

Where's my cheese?

That shit is not cheese.

Well, thank you, cheese guru,

but where is it?

I threw it away.

You threw it away?

Well, thank you very much.

Why did you do that?

It's my fridge.

It's my cheese. I bought it with my own money.

I want you to move out.

Huh?

Uh...

What?

Like now?

Whenever you wanna go.

Uh...

Okay. Um...

All right. I'm going to go now, then.

Be my guest.

Okay.

I will pick up my records later.

If... Is this like a money thing?

'Cause, like, I deposited a check, and, I mean...

Sam, is this really a surprise?

You guys sound familiar.

Do you guys play a lot of shows around?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, we played at The Funhouse, fucking rocked that shit out.

Sold it out. It was awesome. Nice.

And, uh, Calamity Records has our demo, so...

Oh, really?

You know them?

That's awesome. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, so,

keeping our fingers crossed. Yeah.

Good luck.

Thanks.

You see, you're, like,

cute, sweet, nice.

Why do women start that way

and then just turn into

passive-aggressive, conniving

assholes?

I mean, you know what I'm talking about.

Just tell me straight.

'Cause I know you know.

Excuse me.

What?

Dude, I was just kidding around...

Fuck!

Shit.

Fuck off.

Oh, yeah, you're badass.

Is that the size of your penis or your fucking IQ,

you asshole.

Hang on, man!

Oh, Jesus, dude.

What the fuck happened to you?

I got a, um...

Couch? Yeah.

Don't worry about it.

Whoa.

Sorry.

Down, down. Ow!

Down. Jesus.

Sorry, man.

Who are you?

I don't even know anymore, man, I'm so fucking tired.

We picked up this shit

from Devon's brother at the Circle Jerks show

and we've been flying crazy

for, like, 36 fucking hours, man.

If I even see the inside of that van again,

I'm gonna freak out!

No fucking joke.

I really, really, really, really

need some Q-tips.

Just to be clear, like, I'd just be sleeping there.

Like, I'm super busy days and stuff, like...

Okay.

See you at practice.

Hey, it's your favorite nephew!

So, let me guess.

You need a place to crash.

All right.

Technically, I do, I just...

Like, so small amount of time...

Sam.

Sharon, I know.

You're 34, man. I just...

I got my shit together this time. I swear to you.

Totally different.

You working?

Yeah.

I mean, it's not like a jobby-job thing or whatever,

but it's like...

Some potentially really cool shit brewing with the band.

Does it pay?

Yeah. It pays, sometimes.

I mean, you know, it's not, like,

set in stone or whatever, but, like,

there's this cool record label called Calamity Records,

and they have our demo, and

we're just, like, waiting to hear back and stuff, so...

Dude...

Why are you looking at me like that?

Like what?

Like I'm full of shit.

Are you? No.

Not this time, I'm serious. I...

Legit, straight up.

Of course you can stay with us.

But Sam,

get a fucking day job.

I'm on it.

Hey, honey.

Hey.

Oh, here.

Sign.

What'd you do now?

I threw a squid.

We need to talk.

God. What?

Your father can't go camping this weekend.

A work thing came up in Denver suddenly and he can't get out of it.

He feels absolutely terrible.

But listen...

Listen!

I talked to my boss, he gave me the weekend off,

and so I can take you guys. Hey, Oliver!

Ollie! Why would I wanna go with you?

Oliver.

He promised, Sam.

Told him how much he was looking forward to it. Blah blah blah.

Yeah, well, surprise surprise.

How often does he see the kid? Twice a year, for Christ's sake?

Sharon, guy's an asshole.

Big shocker. Oh, big shocker.

So is Oliver upset?

He's heartbroken.

Of course, it's all my fault.

Everything's my fault these days.

He's 14, all right? He's...

He's in his crazy little bastard phase.

I remember when you were in that phase.

Yo!

Hey! How's the job search going?