My Geeky Nerdy Buddies (大宅男)

Youth is like toilet papers.

There seems to be much.

However, it runs out quickly.

As a 23-year-old otaku,

for women,

I have to admit:

I kissed some of them,

I loved some of them,

I saw some of them.

I kissed countless women.

I saw many of them, naked.

I often wondered when I was a kid:

Will my girl friend be an air stewardess?

Or, will she be a super model?

Moreover, will she be an nurse?

However, growing up, I just realized

those were just my imaginations.

Up until this point,

lam still, no doubt,

A VIRGIN!

Hey, can I borrow some?

O.K., take it.

Mine are out.

Thank you.

That is enough...

I still need some tomorrow.

He is my roommate: Mr. Cheap.

If we were all like him,

then, need not to worry about global warming.

The sea level will not rise,

and, we need no nuclear power plant.

Can I borrow your tooth paste?

Unfortunately, I just ran out of it.

I thought you said there is none.

Three things about Korean soap opera:

Car accident, consanguinity, fatal disease.

Three things about otaku:

Online dating, porn star, being so nice.

His name is Ning.

Nick name: Blind.

Computer, cell phone, tablet,

he confesses his feeling through all the channels

His believe:

As long as you confess: either a YES or a NO,

half half, quite fair.

If you kept your mouth shot, there would be none.

Three things about Jay Chou:

Oh oh, not bad, this is great.

Three things about local Taiwanese (Taiker):

Holy shit, fucking, what do you want.

Dee is a typical Taiker

We all call him: Go-Go-Dee.

This is our dorm.

The paradise of otaku.

OMG, can you be more disgusting?

How are we going to use this?

I take my bath, and you brush your teeth.

Mind your own business.

What are you doing?

You take your bath, and I do my No.1, what about that?

Let me finish it.

Otakus with different personalities,

but we have one thing in common:

Women, especially like this.

This one, the E-Goddess.

Eason is the goddess with E-cup.

OMG, this is too much!

From all these behaviors,

You can tell that we are all virgins.

Because we don't have cars, so we have no girlfriends.

Then, obviously, we don't have sex.

If we have a car, there would be women,

and, we can have some nice sex.

That is the rule: Sex comes with cars!

Rich people have nice cars, houses, and women

Poor people like us have mortgages for tuition, car, and house.

How can we compete with them?

Rich people like them

are the public enemy for otakus like us.

Hey, lady, close the door, please!

Hey, lady, your camera, your camera!

What the F are you talking about?

O.k., leave it, just leave it.

Hey, that is my camera!

Hey, that is my camera!

OMG!

What the F is going on?

When otaku meets his goddess,

his heart will be pumping like crazy.

The wind will blow through the goddess' hair.

Every otaku has his goddess.

When I first saw Ling,

I knew that she will be my goddess forever.

From Liu's: Biographies of Exemplary Women

There was a lady named: Chung-Li

Even though she was the queen, she was very ugly.

She had very dark skin and no boobs.

So, now, I would like you to give me some adjectives

to describe ugly people.

- Hideous. - Good!

- Plain. - Good!

- Grotesque. - Good!

Who is snoring?

How dare you! Sleeping in my class?!

You!

Give me an adjective

to describe ugly people.

O.K., give me a minute...

Just-like-you...

How dare you! Out, now!

You are late!

My grandma is very sick.

Go to your seat.

Thank you.

The meaning here is the head.

She was the queen of King Qui.

She was very ugly.

The meaning here is the head.

Are we clear about this article?

You are late.

My grandma is very sick.

Go to your seat.

Thank you.

The meaning here is the head.

OK, class if you want to learn English well.

Shakespeare is your best teacher.

To be or not to be

to be or not to be

Hey, you, over there.

The one with the bra.

Are you following us?

Stand up, and repeat it again.

To "e" or not to "e"

to be or not to be

to "e" or not to "e"

- be... -e...

- be... -e...

Do you have B?

Of course.

Sir, my morn says that B is a dirty word.

That B, which your mother is referring is a bad word.

However, my B is fine.

It is for foreigners.

Sir...

The yoga center next door

is the paradise for our otakus.

We all save our allowance for classes.

Here, tons of beauties,

with all those boobs.

"Execution by shooting."

"Please cover my eyes."

Dismiss.

Class is over.

The film festival of Media Study is on!

The movie combines reality and imaginary.

The most special thing is these are all amateurs.

But, they are so real on screen.

Yes.

So, we would like to cast amateurs,

in order to emphasis the reality of my film.

Wow, that bitchy lady is good!

She is...

a lawmakers.

What about that guy? The cheater?

A paparazzi.

This does not matter.

I would like to devote this to my goddess: Ling.

Ling!

Well, it is quite normal,

for a pretty girl like her,

to be with Wu, the tall-and-handsome rich guy, seems right.

Or, will she ever notice me?

Speaking the truth,

What is the difference between me and people like Wu?

Well, the biggest difference is:

Our dads...

He is my dad.

I am the only boy in the family.

He is illiterate.

So, he puts all his hope on me.

The only thing that my dad can write is his name:

Carrot Kuan.

At the night when my grandma was about to have my father,

She dreamed a golden Parrot.

So, she named his son: Parrot Kuan

However, her spelling was too bad,

so, my dad's name has become: Carrot Kuan.

When my dad was young, he got a weird disease.

The doctor said the only medication is human milk.

Luckily, the widow next door just had an abortion.

She just had too many milk.

So, my dad came to her house for milk every afternoon.

The sad widow and my sick dad

then had some connections day in and day out.

One day, that widow could not fight her feeling,

so she said to my dad:

What do you want from me?

I will say YES anyway!

My dad replied: Really?

For sure.