Maid Droid

(sparks crackling)

(suspenseful music continues)

Hey, you.

(Julie giggles)

(suspenseful music continues)

(flame hisses)

I love you.

I love you too.

Ow.

(flame hisses)

(flame whooshes)

(suspenseful music continues)

What are you doing all the way over there?

Come join me.

My shy, handsome boy.

What's the matter?

Don't like what you see?

Come here, baby.

Come here, baby.

(keyboards keys click)

My shy boy.

What's the matter?

Do you like what you see?

Come here, baby.

(mouth blowing)

You gonna babysit that drink all night?

There, you happy?

Dude, what is up with you tonight?

What do you mean?

Uh, you're moping around like some dead fuck.

What happened to you?

You know what happened.

Is this still about what's her name?

Fuck that bitch.

Didn't you two break up like a year ago?

It's been three months.

Come on, man, one year, three months.

What's the difference?

The chick was a gold digger.

And look, I get it, she was a piece of ass.

But you can't try to cuff a girl half your age.

Julie wasn't half my age.

Whatever, man.

You need to move on because the shit you're doing here,

it ain't healthy.

I'll move on when I'm ready.

(glass clanks)

Hey, dude, I know exactly what you need.

Maid Droid?

Trust me, that number will change your life.

My access code is on the back.

You're gonna need it.

Access code?

They're real selective about their clientele.

I think they're still in beta testing,

but soon they're gonna be huge.

I don't need a maid right now.

Maid Droid is more than a maid service.

You'll see.

Is this like some kind of escort thing?

'Cause I'm not interested.

Will you just call the number?

I promise you'll be satisfied.

Now, drink your fucking drink already.

Okay, but I'm not calling.

Whatever you say, man.

Whatever you say.

(footsteps tapping)

You pathetic man.

You knew I was better than you.

You don't even know how to handle me.

So sad.

Fuck!

Oh, fuck.

You couldn't even keep me around, could you?

You're not masculine enough.

Are you just gonna keep sitting there?

Or you gonna do something for once?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! (palms slap)

I'll never miss you.

Sandell Corporation.

How may I direct your call?

Hi, I'm calling about the Maid Droid service.

Your access code, please.

Yeah, it's 523-894B.

Would you like to be serviced tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Okay.

Your residence is 2200 square feet.

A cleaning with additional services

is approximately four hours.

Is that acceptable, sir?

Sure.

What's the additional service?

Additional service is whatever you want it to be.

Like what exactly?

Like making me coffee or something like that?

If that's what you wish, sir.

Your maid will do anything you tell them to do.

Is there a specific question you'd like to ask, sir?

- Yes, is this really a cleaning service or something else?

Our X5 units are designed to mimic a human female

in every way.

Whatever you tell them on command,

they would do exactly that.

No matter what.

Does that answer your question, sir?

I think so.

I am emailing you a consent form.

Please put your bank account and routing number please.

Wait.

You haven't even told me what your service costs.

- The amount will be acceptable for the service provided

based on your current financial situation.

How do you know my current financial situation?

We have our ways, sir.

This feels too strange for me.

I don't feel comfortable giving out

that kind of information.