Still the King

Previously on "Still the King"...

If it isn't the old Pool and Spa Depot girl.

And I do mean old.

Are you gonna let our daughter run off...

with those rocker-looking dudes?

You see a couple of kids go by here?

They were headed out to Party Cove.

Oh, my god, we won!

- All right. - Let's keep it moving, okay?

Is it rum, vodka?

Oh, my god, are you drunk?

- Gimme that! - Vernon!

- Whoa! - Whoa!

Hey, did we... you know...

Drop that axe!

Ah, wait a minute, hah... uh...

Burnin' Vernon?

I used to roadie for you back in the day! Crazy Dave.

You know, on account that my name's Dave?

Right. Yeah, yeah, I remember you.

Well, you see, I work for Trayne now...

and that's his guitar that you're stealing.

Oh, oh, no, you don't understand.

See I knew Trayne was playing here...

and what I thought I'd do is prank him...

with the old "steal-the-guitar" prank.

Remember that, like I used to do back in the day...

when he opened for me on tour?

Oh, yeah, the "steal-the-guitar" prank.

Hey, what the hell, you should come to the show tomorrow night.

Oh, man, I'd love to, man...

but I gotta check my calendar, man.

I got like, a lot... lotta busy stuff on my plate, man slamming.

But the fact of the matter is, if by chance...

there would be an opening, I'll need me plus two.

Oh, no problem, I'll see you tomorrow night!

All right, man, I'll see you around.

Hey, Vern!

I am gonna need the guitar.

Hah! Gotcha again, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

You are a joker.

- What? - Oh, nothing...

Uh, just this guy at school said he beat your record...

for chugging a bottle of syrup.

Was it that jackhole Andy Epstein?

Ronnie, no. If you do, you'll be bouncing off the walls again.

Get my special occasion insulin. I'm going in... time me.

Morning family!

Go.

Something smells good.

Hey Deb, you ain't by chance been missing something...

you left down at the lake last weekend, have you?

The lake, of course, not.

I haven't even thought about the lake.

Well, if you ever want to return to the blue lagoon...

I'd be more than happy to oblige.

Done!

- Aw, shoot, looks like a tie. - What?

I love that lake. I'd like to be on it all the time.

Dude, what are you talking about?

Out on the lake? You don't even own a boat.

Let alone know how to service one.

Well, I'm sure if I found a model I liked enough...

I could service it as often as it needed.

Can we just stop with the boat talk?

Well, come on, honey. I've got a big surprise for you!

We need to get going.

Hope it's better than your last one.

And you still owe Dallas a new guitar.

I'm sorry, but I had to do what I had to do.

The guy was close-singing and uh...

Anyway I'm gonna make it up to you.

Come on, it's gonna be great.

- See you later, Deb. - Bye.

- Ronald. - Sir.

The sugar's settling in.

Ronnie, I'm gonna take you to dinner tonight.

Awesome. We gonna go to...

No, baby, we're not going to Tepid's.

But... that's my favorite.

Don't you mean your second favorite?

Santa Fe Cattle Company?

Santa Fe Cattle Company.

Uh-oh... sugar's coming back with a vengeance.

Hitting me kind of hard. Can't see...

Coming back.

Help! Help! Who's there?

Oh, all right, all right, see that?

It's like she knew exactly when to come over.

Attentive servers are a sign of the high life, Ronnie.

Yeah, we made it.

And I ordered your favorite dessert.

Big-ass chocolate cake? - Uh-huh.

Are you serious?

Wait, why are you being so nice to me?

Would you mind bringing my beautiful man here another beer?

He deserves it.

- Am I dying? - Of course, not.

Pool and Spa Depot, we have a huge...

Another Pool and Spa Depot commercial.

For all your spa-ing needs.

And here comes stupid Pamela, in her stupid bikini.

Yee-haw!

Wait, she wasn't in the commercial.

- Ronnie, did you see that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, no Pamela.

Ronnie, you wanna do one of your all-time...

favorite activities?

You talking about ninja kicks?

- No. - Doin' it in the yard?

Mm-mm... better. Fake hot tub shopping.

Man, this is the best day ever! Wait, why you doi...

Did you cheat on me?

Ha-ha, your freakin' face, you're killing me.

I'm just bustin' your balls. Let's go tubbin'!

Oh, you are gonna love this!

Trayne Crostown puts on a helluva show.

Oh, he's been known to sing...

into the mouth of a crocodile on stage.

It's the perfect father-daughter activity.

Why is he here?

Man, I remember going on tour with my dad when I was a kid.

We used to come down here.

Pretty big country music fan.

I don't know, it's not really my thing.

You've never been to a country music concert...

with the Burnin' Vernon. I mean, we're VIPs here.

- Suck it! Suck it! - These are my people!

Suck it! Yeah!

Your people are a real class act.

Yeah, well, you ain't gonna be so high and mighty...

when we get inside.

Our seats are right in the middle of the action, come on!

These seats aren't so bad.

It kinda makes ya reflect on how small we are in this universe.

See, you may think we have bad seats...

but actually we got a great view.

This is BS, we're going for an upgrade.

Listen, those seats were just fine.

I don't want to cause any trouble or anything.

Oh, no, don't be silly...

I'm sure they just gave us the wrong tickets, that's all.

How you doing, sir? It's nice to see you.

I'm here to see Trayne.

Everybody here to see Trayne.

Ha, that's a good one. No, I'm actually a special guest.

I gave the boy his break, name's Vernon Brown.

You're not on the list.

Hey, wait a minute, you didn't check the list for those two.

Hot chicks.

All right, just follow my lead.

If anything goes wrong, we scatter, okay?

All right, come on, look important, you ready?

Let's roll.

Clyde, get the investors on the line!

These investors aren't investing!

I don't see it in my... papers. Someone get me more papers!

I can't talk right now, I'm a very important person.

I can't believe it worked!

See, what'd I tell ya? Ya just look like you belong...

and the next thing you know, you're in, it's the way life is.

Now... save yourselves!

Come on, let's go, let's go, come on.

Guys, easy, man, easy, I got an image to protect here.

- Come on, you're ruffling the... - Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Burnin' Vernon Brown! Man, I thought you was dead!

Lil' Trayne! Man, oh, man, I ain't seen you...

since you opened that show for me in Houston.

That's right, I opened for you, now you're trying to sneak in...

to my sold-out, massive arena show. Man, that's rich! Like me.

Let him go, fellas, he's harmless.

Let's go get our pre-party on!

Hey, all right, man, it looks like you're doing pretty good.

Not too bad, baby.

- I think we could do it! - I'm in!

Well, this is... pretty sweet.

Yeah. So, it's just me and you now, huh?

15... you're probably just starting...

to make your own electricity.

Hey, Crazy Dave! It's uh... I'm Robert Murray's boy.

It's been forever, man.

Wait, you're Lil' Walt Murray?

Yup.

God, you were a weird, little kid.

You used to talk about bigfoot and aliens and all that crap.

So what are you doing now?

This and that.

Got the chum, feeding the shark!

10-4 on the shark.

Did you say shark? Here?

Yeah, well, Trayne's got this ritual that he does every night.

He's gotta face death in the face with a real shark.

It's the only way he can keep his high going...

once he gets off the stage.

Listen, I've gotta go.

Oh, you need to have one of these.

What is this?

Oh, it's Backstage Backwash.

It's Trayne's signature cocktail.

I was sober six years when I started working here.