Tiptoes

Whoo!

Nice.

Thanks.

I don't know how in the hell you work this way, but...

It relaxes me.

Here,

let me fix your tie.

Try not to get paint on me.

Relax, okay?

Hmm, what are you going to do tonight?

Just going to hang out?

Uh, like you really care.

Don't start with me.

I'm not.

You are.

Now, I told you about this weeks ago.

Remember?

What?

What?

You got a little something going on the side, Steven?

Hmm? You can tell me.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, I got something going on the side. It's called family,

and I cannot get out of it, okay?

How many times you want to hear that?

You know what?

Your family fucked up or something?

Hmm? Is that why you're being so secretive?

Hey, you just trust me, okay?

Do not get paint on me.

Okay.

Sweetie...(CLEARS THROAT)

I've got to get going, now.

What? Right this second?

Yes. Right this second.

Okay, you know what? Fine. Have yourself a real ball.

Get out of here.

You're a wonderfully cruel woman.

I can't even take a piss straight.

I'm vibrating to fucking death here.

Shut up, Rolfe. You're driving me crazy.

You diminutive French snail.

You know, Maurice?

You're the one who said we could do it in eight hours.

I could have walked faster.

That is your problem for going so slow.

You need to cool.

Come on, you bastard!

What are you stopping for?

Go on ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Steven.

Good to see you.

Jerry Robin Jr.

I have known so many little people professionally,

but what I didn't know is there are over 100,000 little people

in North America alone.

Hey, Mom.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Late.

I'm not that late.

Hello, Steven. Where's your brother?

What? He's not here yet?

I can't believe he would be late to a convention.

Something must be wrong.

There's nothing wrong.

How you doing, girls?

Your favorite, dear, egg salad.

- (CHUCKLES) - Wow.

And now, let's cut that rug courtesy of The Lobsters.

Hey, everybody. Hello, girls.

How you doing tonight, Steven?

Doing the best I can, Bobby.

How about yourself?

Doing all right. Thank you.

Hey, Bobby, do you see this blonde coming up here?

Oh yeah.

She's been asking us to introduce you to her since the last convention.

No kidding?

She's an ice skater in one of those shows.

- Holiday... - Holiday On Ice.

Kitty! Bobby, say hello to the indomitable Miss Kitty Katz.

Well, hello, Mr. President.

The pleasure's mine.

See her tits?

Hello, ladies.

My daughters.

Why don't you girls go out and dance and have some fun?

Yeah, girls.

You ready?

Let's cut a rug.

You too.

I could use a good stiff one.

- Oh, I mean a cocktail. - (CHUCKLES)

Hey, Steven!

Over here!

Hey, Rolfe!

Rolfie...

My friend, you are in the doghouse.

Mom and Pop are pissed.

That's great. Steven, this is Maurice. Maurice is an asshole.

Bonjour.

Hey, the asshole is the strongest muscle in the human body.

Do you think there's any food left?

Oh, man, I really couldn't tell you, man.

My name's Lucy.

Hi, Lucy.

Hey, don't, don't go ripping off food now.

Hey, you can't steal food. Food's from God.

It's plentiful. God wants me to eat.

Come on. Let's go.

What the fuck's going on, man? You want to go grab a drink somewhere?

No. I'm kind of tired. I...

What about tomorrow?

Oh, man, I can't tomorrow. Tonight's my last night.

I've got a class I've got to put through finals all week.

What's the story anyway, man?

What the hell happened? Where you been?

That's what happened.

What do you mean, that's what happened?

- You drove this thing 400 miles? - Uh-huh.

Yeah, well, Maurice builds them,

and I can't afford to put out for a car right now, so I figured, what the hell?

Hey, you laugh, man. It got me here.

Man, give mom and dad a call, let 'em know you're all right. And for Christ sake

don't let them know you're riding around on this thing. Mom'll shit.

Yeah, well, don't you go telling them either.

Don't I go telling them?

Assholes!

All of you, fucking assholes!

Where you staying tonight?

We're going to find a cheap motel,

and then I'm going to give Sally a holler...

Ah...

Sack over there for a few nights.

Yeah, you might as well get used to it.

You two are going to end up together no matter what happens.

They alleged that we were stealing food.

- It's good to see you, man. - Yeah.

And try and make it a little sooner next time.

We can shake it up a little bit.

I know. Well, next year.

Have a good time with Sally, buddy. You know where to find me.

Careful, buddy.

So did you have good time?

Was it everything you expected?

Hmm, it was okay.

Whatever it was. (CHUCKLES)

- Steven? - Hmm?

I don't want us keeping secrets from each other.

Maybe, it's too late to start obsessing, okay?

You're the one making it happen.

Would you just let it go, okay?

I can't.

You're playing me.

I know it. I just can't figure out why.

You do not think that I'm seeing someone?

No, of course not.

Hey, you know how we're always talking about our future

and what we're gonna do and where we're gonna live...

- Yeah. - And all that other stuff?

Can we talk about this later?

No, we need to talk, Steven.

- Right now? - Yeah.

Carol, all right.

Mmm-hmm.

This better not be an all-night marathon or I am going to kill you.

No, it won't. I promise.

All right. What do you got then?

Um...

I think maybe I'm pregnant.

Oh, Man.

We've been using protection.

Yeah, except for those two or three times a week

when you wake me up in the middle of the night,

and don't tell me you don't remember, either.

I thought you wanted kids, Steven?

Yeah, but not right this second. No.

Just tell me what you feel.

Well, I'm not going to tell you I'm thrilled

about an unplanned pregnancy, all right?

I thought you'd be okay with this.

We've talked about it, like, a million times.

Yeah, for the future.

I mean, this is a huge step.

Yeah, but...

these are our baby years, Steven.

Let's just do it.

Jesus Christ, Carol, I mean...

this is the sort of thing that people talk about,

you know, before they jump into it.

Well, that's what we're doing now.

Yeah, after the fact. It's done.

Whoa, we're being invaded.

A menage a trois.