South Park

# I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time #

# Friendly faces everywhere #

# Humble folks without temptation #

# Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind #

# Ample parking day or night #

# People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" #

# Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind #

# Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! #

# Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine #

Attention all units in the vicinity of South Park Elementary.

We have a code red.

Principal calling for help during school assembly.

All officers needed at once.

The school?

Oh, geez Louise!

We need to get to the gym.

Half go this way, half go around the side.

Barbrady, you go around back.

On 3.

1...2...

There she is, officers, right there.

I told you to stop chatting with your friends, didn't I, Leslie?

You see, officers, apparently, Leslie thinks

That talking to her friends is more important

Than learning about diversity in third-world countries.

It's that one.

That's her, right there. You remove her from my school.

Aah! Nobody move! What's happening?!

- Get her out of here! - Oh, they've got me!

Aah!

Aah!

This town is outraged, Officer Barbrady.

People are tired of the police not being held accountable for their actions.

Mayor, I didn't know if there was a gunman or a bomb...

You shot an unarmed 6-year-old Latino child.

I'm sorry.

You are fired.

No, Mayor, please.

This is all I know.

I used to be the only policeman in this town, remember?

Bob, I-I used to chase away the sixth graders for you.

You're from another time, Barbrady,

And the last thing that needs to go.

Your gun and your badge.

And your sunglasses.

No. Please. Not my sunglasses.

You're done, Barbrady.

The town doesn't want you here.

Where should I go?

You should have thought of that before you shot a Mexican.

Latino American.

Latino American. Shit.

You should go away.

You don't belong anywhere in a town as progressive as this one.

Hey, quiet down over there. I'm trying to sleep.

God damn it. You people all get out of here!

What makes you in charge?

'Cause this is my fucking house!

Hey, beat it, man, or I'll make you my bitch!

Aah!

Yeah, we've got a bunch of drug-addict vagrants

Trespassing in our yard, and we need assistance.

Oh, is that so?

Well, we'd like to come help you,

But we don't want to get fired.

What are you talking about?

There's homeless people here, and they're scaring my kids.

You need to come do something about this.

I see.

And are any of these homeless people of a minority persuasion?

Why does that matter?

Oh, it matters.

See, used to be we could beat up minorities, and nobody cared.

It's the reason a lot of us joined the force.

Hey, Mitch, you want to go down and arrest some homeless people,

But not be able to beat up any minorities?

No, thank you.

Yeah, no, I think we're good.

In fact, we're thinking of maybe turning the whole department into a hula school.

What do you think?

God damn it!

What are they doing?!

They're not coming!

But they have to!

Karen brought in one of their syringes, for Christ's sake!

Well, it's just too bad.

The cops won't come,

So there's nobody to scare the homeless away.

Hey, sweetheart.

I've, uh... I've been let go from the force.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry, old girl.

Might be a little tough to afford your medication,

but I'll find a way.

You know me.

I like to help.

I like to be needed.

You guys! Oh, my God, you guys!

You guys, they're gay! They're totally gay.

- Who? - Kenny and Token.

What?

Kenny and Token, dude. They're so gay. Butters told me.

- You're lying. - No, dude.

In those old, abandoned buildings around Kenny's house,

Kenny and Token turned it into a big ninja clubhouse,

And they dress up and play ninja in it, trying to scare people away.

How is that gay?

It's the gayest thing ever, dude!

Ninjas are fucking dumb!

Dude, come on! We got to go see this!

Over this way!

Wah! Wah, wah!

Hoo-ah, wah, wah!

We will defend our ninja honor.

Wo-chew, wo-chew!

Intruders! Defend the base!

Hey, guys, did you come to see our ninja fortress?

Oh, my God. They're so gay, you guys.

You and Kenny built all this?

Yeah, with Clyde and David, too.

You guys should come and check it out.

Uh, no. We're good, thanks.

Oh, my God, dude. It's a sausage party.

It's pretty cool, dude. People are really scared of us.

Yeah, I'm sure they are.

Hey, excuse me, man. Do you know where...

Aah! Aahhhh!

Oh, my God!

Go, go, go!

That's pretty cool.

Well, the way I heard it was that the girl in the school

Wasn't even doing anything, just talking too loud,

And someone ends up getting shot.

Hey! What do you want?

It's okay. I'm off-duty.

Just came for a nice Pinot.

Yeah? Well, go somewhere else, copper.

ShiTpaTown is for people who care about each other.

We don't take kindly to folks who impose their authority

on the underprivileged.

Now, look, not all cops are racist, trigger-happy assholes.

Really?

I'll bet you don't even know what "farm-to-table" means.

Yeah! All right!

Wow.

We've only had a Whole Foods for a month,

And already, we don't need cops.

So cool.

It is a great honor to see that you all want to be ninjas.

Joining our club is very serious.

You must promise to uphold the warrior's code.

Totally, dude. Ninjas are sweet.

Together, we must strive to make our fortress super badass

And keep all intruders out.

To that end, let us proceed to our training.

Dude, can I talk to you for a minute?

Listen, I don't think we should let Kyle be a ninja, okay?

He said ninjas were gay.

He's probably gonna try to turn it around on me,

But that's 'cause Kyle knows I heard him.

You're talking to Kyle right now.

Yeah, cool.

It's me... Butters.

You're the one who said ninjas were gay.

Why do you want to make this a problem?

I'm... I'm just Butters, man. I have problems with lots of things.

Hey, Eric, you want to try sparring with me?!

Yes I do, Butters.

Ooh! Ow!

Intruders!

Yeah, it's right up here.

We can shoot up in these abandoned buildings.

Aah! Aah! Aah. Aah!

The town of South Park is holding a large protest tonight

Outside of their police department.

The townspeople say the protest is meant to begin a dialogue

About the relationship between law enforcement

And the citizens they are supposed to protect.

# Fuck the police #

# Comin' straight from the underground #

# A young nigga got it bad 'cause I'm Brown #

# And not the other color, so police think #

# They have the authority to kill a minority #

# Fuck that shit, 'cause I ain't the one #

# For a punk motherfuck with a badge and a gun #

# To be beaten on and thrown in jail #

# We can go toe-to-toe in the middle of a cell #

#

# Fuck the police #

Fuck Fuck

# Fuck the police #

# Pulling out a silly club, so you stand #

# With a fake-ass badge and a gun in your hand #

# But take off the gun so you can see what's up #

# And we'll go at it, punk, and I'mma fuck you up #

# Ice Cube will swarm #

# On any motherfuck in a blue uniform #

# Just 'cause I'm from the CPT #

# Punk police are afraid of me, huh #

# A young nigga on the warpath #